tootsasue
Hi, my name is Connie. I have been overweight my whole adult life. Growing up I was very thin, teased about being a bag of bones. At the age of 18 or so everything seemed to change. Over the next 30 years I consistently gained weight. Most of it in my 20's. I have been consistently over 200 lbs since age 30 or so. For my short stature, I sometimes look at wide as I am tall. My story is like so many others, trying over and over again to loose the weight only to fail repeatedly.
I have been looking into having bariatric surgery for several years. It was only a far off dream because of the ever common problem with insurance coverage. Well, I am glad to say that my employer now covers bariatric surgery, so I am in my six months of medically supervised weight loss program. I will be going to my 4th visit to the nutritionist this week. 
As the prospect of finally being able to have surgery grows closer, I am seeing just how much my journey has been full of discomfort, physical pain, loneliness, emotional turmoil and despair. Each year brings new physical problems and compounds the emotional ones. Hypertension, arthritis and GERD are just a few. I have had a couple visits to the emergency room with atrial fibrillation. Afraid of living the remainder of my life in this manner, I know that something has to change. My husband and I had decided to finance it ourselves in order to make this happen when we found out my insurance coverage changed. What a blessing.
My hopes of losing weight and becoming more fit has always been on my mind, but I don't think I actually believed it would ever happen. I am feeling more hopeful lately. I am sure that God is helping this all come together. I find that the closer it gets, the fear and doubts are raising their ugly heads. But, I have 3 beautiful grandchildren, and wanting to be able to play with them and actually live long enough to see them grow is my desire and is something that keeps me motivated. (Not to mention a wonderful husband who loves me no matter how I look). 
Life can be good.
I know that somewhere inside of myself is the person God created me to be. I have kept that person hidden, hidden in mounds of flesh, fear, doubt, etc, etc. As my 50th birthday looms in the very near future, my journey to a healthier and thinner me is underway. WOW, my second 50 years are looking better and better.
