Jun 23, 2005- My paperwork was sent off to the insurance company today. Now I get to play the waiting game. It's funny, it took me years to decide that a gastric bypass was the right decision for me, but now that I have commited myself to it, I am incredibly impatient..lol. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything will go well (and quickly:).
July 13, 2005- Well, its been awhile since I updated my profile, but I wanted to wait until I had something to report. The day has come!!Lol:) I have a surgery date! August 10th:)I can't believe it. I am so thrilled I have to share my great news. I was one of the lucky ones, although at times it didn't seem fast enough, I got approved after my first letter to the insurance company. I have no complaints about United Healthcare, they processed my claim in 3 days. The only delay has been due to SLOW nature of the United States Postal Service. I swear I never thought I would be so impatient that I would almost cuss my postman out when I didn't have my approval letter in yet. (I still don't have it by the way) My surgeon got their copy, however, which is how I was able to schedule my surgery. The only downside is the date of surgery, the preschool where I work is closing down a week after my surgery, so in order to get my severance (which I REALLY..lol..need) I will only have about 5 days to recover before I have to go back to work. Granted they know I will simply be a body..but being there the last week is a requirement of the severance process. It sucks but what can I do. I also can't wait to get the surgery because my insurance is tied to the job (which will disappear not long after the job does). Anyways, I guess I will just have to suck it up and deal:) Didn't someone once say, "with every rainbow a little rain must fall" or something like that. Well, I will just focus on my surgery rainbow and deal with the rain as it comes. Thanks for listening and I hope everyone else's waiting game goes smoothly and quickly:)
July 23, 2005- Not much has changed since my last update on the surgery front. But I have been to a few of the OH support groups and can I tell you everyone has been fantastic. They have been a great help in terms of information, stuff I didn't know I needed to know..lol..as well as keeping my head on straight in terms of realising how lucky I was with my approval process. UHC rocks! The requirements I had to comply with were nothing compared to the trials most people I have met had to deal with. Even with those troubles they are extremely positive when talking about their weight loss. I am also bummed out, so many of my new friends have had terrible troubles to deal with the past few weeks. I am praying for them very hard. Especially for Nicole and her mom and Teresa. Losing a family member is the worst kind of pain and the threat of losing one can be just as traumatic. On a side note..The OH site and especially the TX board people are life savers, they are keeping my family sane (they are completey tired of hearing about the surgery, etc..lol..not that I blame them..I have developed a one track mind since May:) and they are such an inspiration to me.
July 26, 2005- I just got back from a very long day of pre-op testing. It all began at 8:30 am with my first nutrition class with Leah (my surgery/insurance liason). She provided a ton of infomation, which was great, but which started to freak me out. Such as, "Chew, chew, chew" (which I knew and I expected), and "Your esoughogus (forgive the butchering of that word) will now be the size of a pencil eraser (that I didn't know, and frankly wish I didn't)." Then I had to wait for my surgeon who was running behind (little did I know waiting was to be the theme of the day). He checked me out and told me everything looked fine, gave a little last minute advice, to quit smoking--for a better recovery, I am going to try..pray, pray, pray. Then my mom and I rushed across the street for my noon pre-admission appointment at Denton Regional Hospital. For the next two and a half hours my mom and I waited around 20-30min between appointments (prelimanary meeting with admission lady, wait... then blood work, wait, next I had chest x-rays, wait some more, next EKG, wait....lastly a meeting with a pre-admission nurse. Over all the whole process was not painful, just mind-numbing..I swear 2 hours in a hospital is like 2 years. I feel for my mom when she is waiting for me to get out of surgery....I had my first real bought with nerves tonight. Started messaging everyone on the boards...starting to feel scared about surgery and recovery. Thank God for Kathy R, my surgery angel, saved me. I was still nervous after I called her, but before I talked to her I heading quickly toward hysteria. I admit it..feeling like a big baby at the moment...will update soon..thanks for listening to my ramblings..
August 16th, 2005- I am 6 days post-op!!. I am doing fairly well. I have not had any major problems since getting out of surgery. I felt a little sick at the hospital but that was due to the morphine that I was getting for pain, as soon as I got onto a liquid pain killer I have not felt sick since. I have been in some pain which has made mobilty something of an issue, thank God for my mom. She has had to help me a lot, in the hospital and since we have returned home. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there. I am about to go on the squishy diet (up until now I have been on liquids--anything you can pour-->malt-o-meal, broth, creamed soups, etc. Not too terrible because I haven't been very hungry. But I am excited that I will be able to have some "normal" foods like cottage cheese etc. Keeping my fingers crossed they go down well. -Traci
September 27, 2005- Wow, time is flying by so quickly sometimes. I have been doing well. Although for a few weeks the scales were playing games with me. They just didn't move at all. I was pretty depressed, but then I just took a step back and concentrated on doing what I needed to do, and not focusing so much on the "numbers" and guess what, I stepped on the scales today and without even being aware of it, I entered one-der land!!! I weigh 197. I can't remember the last time that I weighed less than 200 pounds. Life is great, I am going to be joining a gym within the next week or so, and I am getting really excited about working out again. I used to work out in high school and loved it. I can't wait to start seeing the wight drop off me:)
October 22, 2005- I have recently joined 24 hour-fitness. I am starting out slow, working out about 30 minutes at a time, but so far, everything has been great. I am trying to get over the self-conscious aspects of working out in front of people, and it does help that there are people working out from all ages, abilites, and weights there. But I guess after being so heavy for so many years, you start to want to be invisible when you work out...hard to explain but I'm sure others know what I mean...
January 28, 2006- Well, it has been forever since I updated my profile, but I wanted to note my progress because I am so incredibly thrilled!!! I hadn't gotten on the scales in a few days (I admit it I am a scale addict, something I never would have imagined I'd be before surgery. I used to actively avoid knowing how much I weighed- a forrm of self-denial that obviously did not work) and I lost another 4 pounds!! That brings my total to 87 pds lost since my surgery in August. I never thought I would be putting this out there in writing, man how these things change, but I weigh 150 pds! I have not been this weight since I was 15 yds old. Now granted, my body does not look as good as it did then, sob, but hey, 150 is 150. I can't believe that size 14's are COMFORTABLE. I even broke down last night at 2 am and raided my closet geting rid of the size 24's that, sad to say, I was still wearing because hey, they were there and I am incredibly cheap and didn't want to buy new ones. Things finally came to ahead when I couldn't even keep my pants on using my belt sinched as tightly as it gets. Not to say that I am complaining, who knew I would ever consider clothes falling off me because they were TOO big a problem. I now have 3 bags bursting with clothes to give to someone else. I feel great knowing that someone else will be able to use my clothes on her own WL Journey. But now I am desperate, I have only 5 shirts and one pair of pants in my closet. Anyone out there have any clothes they can pass along to a struggling pre-school teacher? LOL:)
March 16, 2006- I just got back from South Padre and I wanted to update my profile because I have finally made it to the century club!!! I have lost 103 pounds, I am still in shock and so happy to have made it this far in my journey. I am hoping to go to the Arlington dinner tonight to share my excitement with all of my wonderful Dallas/Fort Worth Friends, but I am unforunately fighting a cold that probably has a lot to do with going from 80+ degrees in Padre to 50ish degrees in Dallas. Uggh I hate being sick, anyway, I got lots of pics in Padre and I hope I will be showing them off at the next Fort Worth Support Meeting. Take care everyone and have fun if I miss ya'll tonight:)
June 6, 2006- I haven't updated my profile quite awhile, but felt that it was time. I HAVE REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT!!!! I can't believe how much my life has changed since having a LAP RNY, 10 months ago. I feel healthier and happier than I have been longer than I can remember. I am out living life, making mistakes, but living life to its fullest instead of being the passive observer my weight made me pre-op. I don't hide anymore. I don't hole up in my apt. wishing things were different. Life isn't perfect and I won't say I don't have my good days and bad, the surgery is not the cure for the depression many of us deal with pre-op, but it has given me the confidence to be myself. Whatever my life is now, I have a control over myself that I never had before. Before surgery, I felt like I was constantly saying, "I'm sorry...". But inside what I was really saying was..."I'm sorry you have to deal with someone who looks like me.." The shame and feelings of weakness were crippling. I am a totally different now, now when I say "I'm sorry"..I actually have done something worth apologizing for.... I am liberated...I screw up, I feel my way through new situations every day...but I can honestly say that I have never been happier with myself as a person, baggage and all..and isn't that the best any of us can hope for. To be happy with who and what we are? I love my friends and family, but I am done being the doormat I used to be. Many of the relationships I had before surgery have changed, some for the better, some have ended. They were unable to deal with the NEW Traci. The new Traci who can say, "No". I used to be the filler friend, the easygoing sister/roommate, what have you, the one who had no life and therefore was content to be an aspect of someone else's existence. Now I finally feel like the lead character of my own movie, rather than a small bit part in someone else's drama... This has been a long rambling update..but I guess the main point to all this is that the surgery will change you in ways you never expected..and make you do some soul searching as to who you are and what you want out of life...things I wasn't even contemplating when I had the surgery. I thank God every day for my new pouch, and while I do miss some things (ice cream at certain times of the month for one..lol), nothing I used to eat was worth putting my life on hold, because as many say, nothing tastes as good as being thin feels:).......