Tracieunt

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It's hard to describe how much my life has changed since I had my surgery in 2005. 5 years ago, I was single, stuck in the obese box I had created for myself and pretty much dealing with the concept that i might spend my life alone.  I had dated, but when you don't love yourself, its very hard to accept love from others.

I lost the weight after the surgery, which I had always though would instantly fix all the problems in my life. And it did fix many of them, but the new found freedom, confidence, and desire to live, also led to new and unforeseen problems with friends, family, credit card companies, etc.

I have had my ups and downs, and not all of my experiences were for the best....but deep down I know that even my mistakes have shaped who I have become, and I can honestly say today that though I am not perfect I am truly beginning to like the person I am becoming.

This trip down Introspection Lane was instigated by two rather big life altering events...first I found out that I am going to be a Brand New Mom:) Something I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I am terrified, thrilled, excited and pretty much every other emotion you can think of...two days later I learned that I will be losing my job..again terrified, nervous, confused...etc. 

Though I know this isn't the ideal moment to bring a new person into my family, I am so happy I could cry (which here lately is isn't saying much, I cry at the drop of a hat these days, I have resigned myself to being one of those balling pregnant women, because my emotions are running so hot and cold:))) 

I am going to go read some nutrition books for pregnant women...I have been sketchy about my diet and I need to start planning out my meals for the week instead of eating on the run..

As the New Year approaches, so many things are happening its hard to keep up..but I'll try.....First..my New Year's plans.....I am going to Dallas for New Year's Eve. My boyfriend and I are going to paint the town red, I am soo excited. I have never had a boyfriend on New Year's Eve, this will be the first time I have ever had someone to kiss at midnight, which sounds kinda sad now that I "say' it out loud but it illustrates how much things have changed for me since my surgery. I have truly taken my life back from the self-imposed and society-imposed black hole I had lived for longer than I like to remember. I also have amazing news...I have my plastic surgery consult on January 22nd!!!!! I can't believe it, my doctor cleared me to look into plastics and I couldn't be happier. I had gastric bypass surgery for a variety of reasons, the main reason being my health, but after losing so much weight the ONE downside has been the excess skin and complete loss of my boobs (and how many women admit that..lol). So on Jan. 22, I will be looking into getting a tummy tuck and a breast lift and implants. Not to say that plastics are for everyone, but for me it the completion of a journey I began two years ago to change my life for the better.  Soooo on that note...  I WISH EVERYONE AN AWESOME NEW YEAR!! Be safe and Party Hard..lol.  

Hey everyone that has wondered where in the heck I have been for the past few months. My life has been crazy busy but good. I have never been happier. I have met someone new who makes me smile every time I see him and you can't ask for more than that. I have also been promoted at work. It is a small promotion, but one that has meant a lot more work than I had before. As for my weight I am holding steady at around 115 pounds and I am currently wearing a size 3-5 in juniors and a small in ladies’ wear. My next step in this amazing journey is having my plastics done and I am looking into various plastic surgeons in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I cannot wait to finally have the body that I have been working so hard for. Not to mention that I have my 10-year high school reunion in May of 2007 and knowing that I will be able to meet and greet old classmates with my head held high for the first time ever is an impossibly gratifying feeling. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and were able to eat without indulging to terribly on all of the wonderful holiday food (I didn’t do tooo badly..but I could have eaten a little better..ughhh…lol). I promise I will keep this page more updated than my old oneJ