Just when I had pretty much put the idea of a baby on hold...

Feb 01, 2010

It's hard to describe how much my life has changed since I had my surgery in 2005. 5 years ago, I was single, stuck in the obese box I had created for myself and pretty much dealing with the concept that i might spend my life alone.  I had dated, but when you don't love yourself, its very hard to accept love from others.

I lost the weight after the surgery, which I had always though would instantly fix all the problems in my life. And it did fix many of them, but the new found freedom, confidence, and desire to live, also led to new and unforeseen problems with friends, family, credit card companies, etc.

I have had my ups and downs, and not all of my experiences were for the best....but deep down I know that even my mistakes have shaped who I have become, and I can honestly say today that though I am not perfect I am truly beginning to like the person I am becoming.

This trip down Introspection Lane was instigated by two rather big life altering events...first I found out that I am going to be a Brand New Mom:) Something I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I am terrified, thrilled, excited and pretty much every other emotion you can think of...two days later I learned that I will be losing my job..again terrified, nervous, confused...etc. 

Though I know this isn't the ideal moment to bring a new person into my family, I am so happy I could cry (which here lately is isn't saying much, I cry at the drop of a hat these days, I have resigned myself to being one of those balling pregnant women, because my emotions are running so hot and cold:))) 

I am going to go read some nutrition books for pregnant women...I have been sketchy about my diet and I need to start planning out my meals for the week instead of eating on the run..

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