Tracy W.

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Well, it has been a month and a day.  Most days I do feel better.  I started back to school this past week.  I actually managed to get my classroom all set up.  It was a chore because I was moving to a new classroom and I had to unpack ALL my stuff, set up new bulletin boards (I will be teaching a new topic this year --- US history rather than language arts), set up the desks, and cleared out all of the 30 year old junk the man who retired left behind.  It was a challenge because I get tired fast, but over the last 2 weeks, I have been working hard on building up my stamina.  I still have bad days, though.  On Tues of last week, I woke up with diarrhea (sorry ... TMI  lol) and when I went to take a shower, I almost passed out.  I warned the principal about my health so that she understands in case I end up having an unexpectedly bad day/moment.  She was wonderfully supportive.  At our faculty meeting, she shared with the staff about my surgery and let me talk awhile about the positives (and possible issues) that have/would/might occur.  I chose to do this because 1. I am proud of my decision and want to share, and 2. because I will be losing weight rapidly (I hope), I don't want anyone to think I am ill.  They were WONDERFULLY supportive and interested.  I had a lot of people come up to talk to me since the meeting and it has all been positive.  A couple of teachers said they noticed I had lost weight, but didn't want to say anything incase something was wrong.  I guess I made the right decision to share.  :)  Now ... I lost a lot the first 2 weeks.  Then, I went into the third week slump.  The fourth week, I lost about 5 pounds, but I seem to be stuck again .... Each time I weigh myself, It is between 237 and 241.  It has been like this for days!  I am soooo anxious for the weight to start dropping again.  I haven't been walking like I should, but that is because I have been physically pooped each day after working in the classroom.  I am hoping that as the weight continues to drop, and I get back into the swing of the schedule, my energy level will increase.  Eating wise ... I was cleared for stage five and seem to be doing really well with it.  There are times when I have given myself a problem because I ate to quickly, but I haven't dumped on any of the new foods I have tried.  I was REALLY psyched to be able to eat my garden tomatoes, cukes, and peppers.  lol  It was weird, after doing all the work planting it in the spring, that I couldn't even enjoy the fruits of my labor!  LOL  I must say, my parents and the neighbors appreciated it, though.  :D  I have been using the Greek yogurt as a dip for the peppers and cukes, so that I am getting in the protein and don't fill up on just the veggies. I guess all in all, things are going well.  I will try and keep this blog updated because I want to be able to look back at my journey once I have reached my goal.  Good luck to all of you!  :D

OMG!!!!  I feel like crud!   The surgery went smoothly on Tuesday morning.  But ... I was REALY unprepared for the pain.  I haven't experienced anything like it before and I SWEAR I never will again!  Why did I do this to myself?  I am sooo emotional ... and nausieted.  I am walking as much as I can, but I feel so lousy.  Between the pain in my stomach, the bloated feelings and continuous burping, the discusting taste that never leaves my mouth, and the ever present arthritis pain, I want to  just close my eyes, go to sleep, and ignore it all.  Even worse than the pain and such is the fact that I KNOW I am not eating all that I should be.  The water ... I don't mind, but I can only take so much.  I don't mind crystal light ... IF I water it down.  I don't know what to do about the protein, though.  I can not stomach those drinks.  I didn't really understand all the fuss that people made about it before my surgery.  I had purchased the items and tried them all.  They weren't good, but not too bad.  Since surgery, it has been endless agony trying to get enough protein.  Today I had a yogurt!!!  It was much better tasting, but I am VERY bloated.  For dinner, I am about to eat SF pudding with Lactaid.  We shall see.  I know it will get easier and I will feel better, but I pray to God it will be soon!

Ok ... here it goes... this is my first blog EVER. I am really wired and nervous right now. I am going to be having my surgery on the 29th at 7:30 AM. I am 41 years old and have never been in the hospital overnight and have never had surgery. Although I am anxious about what I might be facing, I am more nervous about it NOT happening. I feel as though I have been trying so hard to get to this point and like most things I want ... I am waiting for it to collapse in on me just before it happens. All these bad thoughts are running through my mind! GOD I want a cigarette! LOL I quit cold turkey on May 7th because I had to for the surgery. I never thought I could, but I want this so badly ... I managed. Of course, I still dream about them and crave them like mad! It wasn't the nicotine that I seemed to be addicted to, it was the habit (much like my food issues). I have done surprisingly well sticking to the food plan, but there I also have a problem. I was told that I needed to lose 10 pounds prior to surgery. It took me a while to do it. I have never been able to lose easily. I am solid packed and it doesn't want to go! lol However, this time I did notice several changes to my body shape and the fat seems to be softening. Anyway ... finally lost 11 pounds. Today I stepped on the scale and it is back up!!! I am up 5 pounds!!! I am mid cycle, so it isn't that. I think it might be because my Doctor, had me stop thaking Naproxen. I took it for arthritis in my knee and hip. Since I stopped, I can barely move. I have been practically immobile for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I have a feeling that is why the weight came back, but I am sooooo afraid that I am going to go to the hospital and be sent home because I didn't lose enough pre-surgery. I am unmarried, so my parents are taking me to the hospital. They cut their vacation short (even though it was already paid for) to be there for me. I don't want to disappoint them! Also, I am starting a new teaching position in Sept. (same school, just a different dept.). The surgery HAS to take place on the 29th, or I won't be ready to go back to school! I am just stressing about everything right now!!! It will probably all be fine, but I still can't help my anxiety.