Hi everyone!

My name is Amanda, and I live over in Perth, Wetaern Australia. I am 32 years old, married with the most gorgeous 6 year old twin daughters!

My story shares similarities with most. I have battled with my weight since I was 7 or 8 years old.Picked up by a school nurse who sent a letter home to mum about getting me 'checked' out for a significant weight increase. Tests and diagnosis later, basically there was nothing wrong with me!

So started the struggle which really is all i have ever known.I have tried every lotion, potion diet and pill. Some had ok results which never really lasted. I joined gyms and paid fortunes on the thoughts that if i paid so much money i wuold be encouraged to go - how could i possibly waste all that money?! Always came back to ground (with a huge thump!)

Depression and negative thoughts became a daily ritual..how would i ever find the right guy when i look like this? I will never get the opportunity to have children...there is NO ONE as big as me...i will never be happy...i will never be normal...the list goes on. Looking back - some pretty feel sorry for myself stuff there, but the reality is that's how I felt. The sad part is, to a degree I still feel a lot of those things.

I did however meet a wonderful man, and that I cant stress enough! He is WONDERFUL! He loves me for me. He is supportive no matter what i choose to do, he helps me to see things clearly, but will still support my decisions.

We married in 1999 and became pregnant pretty much right away. In September 2000 I had my twin daughters - Emma and Madison. Another story, but like so many people their birth was a terrible tale of resuscitation(sp) and drama, but we all came out the end of it happy and healthy.

I devloped type 2 diabetes when i was 21 years old (have a HUGE family history) so have battled with that for the last 11 years. Now days I have insulin daily and also take a tablet which helps to control the blood sugars, but since having my daughters, the diabetes has been extremely hard to control.

My fears with my weight are really based around my hubby and kids. I want to be around for longer, I want to see my daughters have children, I want them to be proud of their mummy and my husband proud of his wife, not embarrased by the shy, overweight person in the corner. I'm not shy - just worried by what others think. I dont want my girls teased at school by their friends that their mummy is fat and ugly - they are only kids,being honest and being kids, but i feel that anyway! I want to improve my self esteem, I want to think and believe that I AM worth something, That I am special. I want to stop crying everytime someone passes a comment that I overhear, because obviously overweight people have hearing issues and we dont hear what people close by say about us- NOT!, I want to buy clothes that fit and look good, I want to feel accepted and normal. I just want to live.

Well now I cant stop bawling! So i guess enough sorry for me, and I need to get on with it! I researched WLS for weeks and weeks before trying to get an appointment with a Dr on the Public list. I eventually got in thru a back door so to speak - a clerical error had me put on a list where the Dr wasnt actually taking more patients...he couldnt knock me back - i was so so luky. Some of the waiting times over here for Public surgery is around 4 years.

I decidedon the VSG over the band and Inow have a surgery date of Tuesday 27th March 2007. I cant wait. Nervous, excited all in one.

I will let you know how i go - i am a bit of an addict and I read the site daily (if not 2 or 3 times) to see how everyone else is going!

I hope to develop a friend network where I can listen to others and have others listen to me.

Thanks for your time and goodluck to everyone who shares the struggle. Thanks to those before us for their inspiration!! Cant wait!!

 

About Me
Location
39.6
BMI
Mar 14, 2007
Member Since

Friends 11

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