UglyAmy

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William and I are a couple. I just checked my last post (sorry, with school, work, and William) its so hard to keep up!

Another side note, I told my boss about wanting surgery. He said if insurance doesn't cover it, the company will. Have you ever heard such a thing? I am so excited. Forward, I go!

I have been in a whirlwind! 

I have been seeing someone and I am so excited! They like me just the way I am. I confided in him that I want surgery and he supported that idea too! We have been taking long walks and just talking and holding hands. I feel like a new love. I am not IN LOVE with him, yet, but I LOVE the idea of having someone I can talk to and confide in. 

I am going to talk to my boss soon about what benefits are due me.
Wish me luck!

Time is slipping away from me. 

I cannot get ahold.

To remember what was gets harder to be. 

Faster, growing getting old.


I just made that up. I love to write poems. For some reason today, I am feeling achy and am relating it to being old. Its my poem, I can do that!
I also love to write about angels. Maybe someday I will share those. The angel poems are more personal. It is my pain/pleasure in life. Passion is a funny thing. Maybe I will explore both sides of passion. Pain and Pleasure. Hmmm... Good idea, Amy. Glad you thought of it.

I really think blogging is therapeutic for me. I love to write. I love to see the written word. I love LOVE today. Ok, so yesterday was not my crowning glory of a day, but I was determined to make today better and it was. I will be going for a manicure momentarily. A little pampering doesnt hurt!

I have an idea for a new childrens book. The basic idea (dont want anyone stealing it!) is a little boy lives in NY and cant get to the park and play because it is raining. He ends up falling asleep and has the most exciting dream. He can fly. So he flies all over NY looking for other children his age to play with. I am not sure about an ending yet. I like the idea of a fantasy type dream but I do not want it to seem too Wizard of Oz-ish! Oh well, time for my manicure. If you hang around my blog long enough, I may put a poem or two up!

I am so tired of being fat. I dont want anyone to know what I weigh. I am embarrassed to get on a scale, I dont even know if mine will go that high!?!
I see that many of you on this site get the surgery. Some are doing so well and have such a good outlook. I just want to be happy and find love. Not just friend love, but true love. I want kids, I want the house with the white picket fence and a puppy to boot. Is that so hard or wrong?
*sigh* I want someone to love me for who I am big or small.
Anyway, I guess this is feel sorry for me day. I usually have a positive attitude, but today is not one of them.

I am going for a walk this morning and just wanted to stop by and post an update. I feel wonderful. The flowers are blossoming, the leaves on the trees are sprouting. It is a good Sunday! I dont really have too much to add, but just happy to be alive on such a wonderful day. I have been thinking of going on a vacation, but do not have many ideas right now. I do not want to fly (seat restrictions) and a fear of flying. I need something I can easily drive. I wonder, maybe South Dakota. I have to remember to NOT go during Sturgis! Well, off I go. Have a great day everyone!

I guess no news is good news! I have insurance at my job. Its just for me, but I am sort of embarassed to ask about the WLS and if its covered. I dont want my boss knowing I am thinking about it. I havent brought it up so I am not sure of his views. I guess I shouldnt care if he knows, I am trying to better myself. 

I walked 2 miles yesterday!! It took a while, but just the fact I got out and did it was exciting! I am going to try and get out each day in the summer and do something I would not ordinarily do, like walk. 
Wish me luck!

It has not been the nicest weather lately. I cannot wait until the weather is nicer. I would like to get out and listen to the birds chirp. I would like to walk in the park. I don't really like walking much in the cold. I have to bundle up and I feel like a giant hot dog. 

Today work was horrific. My boss had me take dictation and he kept repeating himself, changing train of thoughts, and sometimes going off on a tangent! I don't think he realizes how hard it is to follow someone when they do that! What to put in the letter, what to leave out. I would love to search for another job, but I think this one will pay for the surgery! I haven't made a decision 100% about which type I would like, but I am researching!

Today has already started out bad. I went to the grocery store to get a few things for my lunches. Some woman actually came up to my cart and looked it up and down. Then she said to me, Its a shame you dont know about better nutrition. You need it..

WOW.. I just pushed my cart around the corner. I was so ashamed. 
I only had crackers, dinty moore cups, wafer cookies, the small bags of chips, some lunch meats, bread, and diet soda. Maybe a few more things, but nothing I thought was too bad. I hope today gets better. I came home and realized I need to pray. For this woman and for myself.

I am hoping to have weight loss surgery. I live in Minneapolis, MN I am 20 years old. And if you know anything about Minneapolis, you will not be surprised im fat. 

I have the user name Ugly Amy. I feel like Ugly Betty has my life. Or at least the one I would be happy with! She is so confident and willing to be different. I dont really think Im ugly, not on the inside. Hopefully I will have the outside to match my inside. 

A little more about me, not only am I 20, but I write poetry. I really hope to have it published one day. I have been trying my hand at childrens books too. 

I work as an administrative assistant. I basically answer phones and type letters. The pay isnt the best, but it helps make ends meet. Thats about it!