kristine V.
opti fast - day eleven
Jan 13, 2011
it's really quite sad how paranoid i've become when referencing my surgery. i'm so used to things not working out the way i want them to that i'm expecting the worst. i freak out and freak out until i get good news and then i can relax but until then, i'm on edge in the worst way. today i weighed myself at work again. it said 330lbs. if that's accurate, it means i'm short four pounds what i need to have lost by tomorrow. people keep telling me that surely my surgeon will just let it slide and i'll be fine but i honestly don't think he will. i have it in writing saying that if i don't lose the weight by tomorrow, my surgery will be rescheduled. i can't imagine going into that office tomorrow, being weighed and then being told it's not going to happen. i don't know what i'll do.i just snapped at my aunt because yeah, i'm in a bad mood and i have a gnarly headache on top of that and she wanted to blame my bad mood on annoyance over what she was telling me when that wasn't it. she didn't even bother to ask what was wrong with me, she just assumed i was being a brat over what she was telling me. god, that made me so angry. i started crying right there before storming off. i've started crying just thinking about it. i've waited three years for this to happen. three years. i can't bear to have this rescheduled, to go through another week of not eating and that's if the surgeon even has any surgeries available for the following week.
i don't pray. it's been a really long time since i've prayed but if you do, i would really appreciate a prayer or two right now.
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About Me
FL
Location
44.1
BMI
Surgery
01/17/2011
Surgery Date
Feb 21, 2008
Member Since
