Leave your negativity at the door

Aug 18, 2014

So I just got done reading some very negative comments on my blog and I have to say that I'm very surprised I came to this site for support and to support others and what I got was cruelty and it hurts my heart. We are all in the same boat we have all faced the same things, I'm not upset at the people who posted them in all honesty I feel bad for them that they have to treat other people badly to feel better about themselves. I work two jobs to make ends meet I am independent and have always paid my own way and the one time I ask for help I get negativity. Well I have one thing to say to anyone who dislikes my post leave your negative comments at the door I don't need them if you don't like what I have to say don't read. I know who I am and have faced people like you all my life and if I listened to you I would be living on the streets instead of having a college degree and working my butt of for what I want in life.

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Way To Short

Aug 13, 2014


It is times like these that I realize how short life can be. I've had a lot of great things happen to me during these last two years. but even with all the good it has not been all smooth sailing, on Friday it will official be a year since my Grandmother died. I find it so hard to believe that she has been gone a full year I wish she had been here this year to see my brother come home, to see how much my niece Josie is like her with her trouble maker personality that at the same time is one of the sweetest little thing ever, I wish she had been here to see how for I've come and I wish she was here to see me finish what I started when she was a live . I've thought about her a lot over this last year, When someone so close to you dies it can upsets everything around you and you truly find out what you are made of. I faced the great lose of the only grandmother I had ever known and you know what I found out I am a lot stronger then I ever thought I was which I believe I got from her. Even though she won't be here to see it I'm going to keep fighting to finish what I started because I know she would want me to but most of all because I want too. I love and miss her every day I just hope that I have made her proud of me for everything I've done and everything I'm still fighting for.

 

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Fighter

Aug 11, 2014


I've been told since I was little that I'm a fighter, my mom likes to say I fought to get into the world and haven't stopped. I was born 8 weeks early the doctor told my parents to prepare themselves because they didn't know what state I would be in when I was born. But I came out screaming and by some miracle I went home five days later. I never really saw myself as a fighter until I was older but now I know they are right I fight for what I want and need. Because if you are not willing to fight for yourself who will.

 

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Siblings

Aug 08, 2014

They say that no one can drive you crazy like your family and lets face it everyone feels that way sometimes even me. But I realized along time ago just how amazing and rare my family is. I grew up in a military family because of that we moved around a lot. Its because of that my siblings and I are so close. They have been there to protect me, to call me out when I needed it, they have been my friends and most importantly they have always been there when I needed their support. They have truly been siblings in every sense of the word. I don't know what I would have done without them growing up. To my sibling I love you guys and thank you for always being there to get in trouble with and thank you for all the support these past 2 years and always believing in me.

 

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Good Days And Better Weekends

Aug 04, 2014

I hope everyone had a great weekend because I did. It was nice to be off work and enjoy the last of July beginning of August. Its days like I had this weekend that remind me just how lucky I am to be alive and to enjoy everyday I was given. Days I may not have had if it wasn't for the Bypass. When you are faced with the chance of not having a future you learn to appreciate everyday you are given. Whenever I am having a hard day or life gets tough I always try and see that everyday I have been given is a gift and that is something I will never forget and will always be thankful for.

 

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Heart

Aug 01, 2014

I was in the hospital for over a week and the day had finally come when they were going to send me home or at least that was the plan. Doctor M came to in that day and he was concerned about my heart some of my test had come back and he wanted to have his partner check it out. Doctor M had come to see me at 8 that morning his partner came to see me an hour later. Doctor M has always been so nice to me and always explained him self his partner well not so much. He was nice but I didn't understand most of what he said to me, I consider myself a smart person but talking to this doctor went way over my head. The only thing I really understood is that Doctor M thought I might have developed a heart murmur so he wanted to have me sent down and have some pictures taken of my heart using ultrasound. By the time he left it was only about 10 all I had to do the rest of the day was wait. It was close to 3 when they finally took me down to have the ultrasound if you know anything about gastric bypass you know that you are pretty much having your digestive tract completely redone so anything pushing on your stomach after you have it done can be quite painful for the first couple months especially the first 10 days. Having someone press down on my stomach for nearly an hour it was so painful that I nearly passed out. I could tell the woman who was doing the ultrasound felt bad she kept trying to talk to me and distract me which I appreciate it but it really didn't work I could tell that she felt really really bad but neither of us could do anything if I wanted to go home I had to have this done. To be completely honest I was scared I have never had heart problems so the idea of having some when I had just had the surgery was frightening. After the ultrasound all I could do was wait and well when the only thing you can do is lay in a hospital bed your mind starts to wonder. My mind went a lot of places what if something was really wrong. 6 o'clock rolled around and still no word from the the doctor so i was resigned to the fact I wasn't going home that day. That was until Doctor M's partner walked into my room right before 7 o'clock with a smile on his face. "Well Ursula" he said "Everything came back normal we are sending you home". The moment he said that I wanted to get up and kiss his feet but I didn't I settled with a thank you and got out of there. I was so grateful for all the that was done for me by the hospital especially the nurses but I was done being in the hospital I was ready to take the next step in my journey like I am now but I need your help to do that.

Help me finish what I started http://www.gofundme.com/b3xa2o

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Looking at it Differently

Jul 29, 2014

A lot of things changed after the surgery but the biggest thing that changed was my relationship with food. When they say you have to learn how to eat again they mean it. I went into it thinking I would miss certain foods and not others but I was wrong. Some of my favorite foods were the easiest to give up. I used to be a big soda drinker but now I look at it and all I can think of is how it is way to sweet. And stuff I used to hate I love now its weird my taste did a total 180. But when you have Gastric Bypass it has to0. You have to look at food differently and for me that gave me the chance to look at my life differently. And I guess you could say it gave me hope. Hope for the future I always wanted and so much more.

Help me finish what I started. http://www.gofundme.com/b3xa2o

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Water

Jul 27, 2014

3 days that's how long I went without drinking anything after the surgery. About the time I was moved out of ICU was when I was allowed to finally have water and other liquids. You see when you have gastric bypass you have to teach your stomach to eat again which means you have to start with a liquid diet for 3 weeks and work your way up to eating normal food again slowly. I was so nauseous after the surgery the idea of drinking anything but water or watered down apple juice would turn my stomach so that's what I lived on for two days water and apple juice but as you can guess that did not go over very well with doctor M or my nurses. "Ursula you have to eat" he told me, "No I'm good with the water and apple juice" I replied. "I know its hard right now" Doctor M said while standing at the end of my bed, "but you have to try or I won't be able to send you home". "Ok" I finally replied. That night I sat in my hospital bed looking at a tray filled with chicken broth, jello, yogurt, and other liquid food. It was at that moment looking at the tray before me that I knew my relationship with food had changed. I would never eat the same again I thought I would be sad or upset but I wasn't. I was nauseous and not hungry but I knew if I didn't at least try to eat I wouldn't be going home anytime soon. So I did what I needed to do and picked up the chicken broth and slowly started to drink it..

Help me finish what I started. http://www.gofundme.com/b3xa2o

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Wanting Life

Jul 27, 2014

When you make the choice to have Gastric Bypass you do it because you want life. You do it because you know if you don't you might died. Its not an easy choice to make but for me by the time I made it I knew I had to. I had to do it for me for my family but most of all because I wanted everything life could give me. I did it because I'm a fighter I always have been and I wanted to live.

Help me finish what I started

http://www.gofundme.com/b3xa2o

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Beep Beep Beep

Jul 27, 2014

"She's coming around" that's the first thing I heard along with beeping when I woke up in post-op. But all I felt was nauseous a nauseousness I have never felt before. That's when I noticed I couldn't speak because their was a tube down my throat. I opened my eyes to see two nurses standing on either side of the bed. I started pointing at my throat when one of the nurses started to speak "You have a tube down your throat we will take it out in a moment." I know the nurses were doing their job and I was still loopy from all the medicine but I got mad at the nurse after he said that because I could not understand why he didn't get that I was nauseous and wanted to throw-up. it didn't dawn on me till later that they couldn't read my mind. After they took the tube out of my throat I went in and out of consciousness most of the night. At some point I remember they moved me to ICU. What I do remember is that they had to turn off at pain meds the night after I had the surgery because they thought I had was having trouble breathing. Little did everyone know that the machine wasn't working right lets just say I woke up screaming. Thank goodness I had such amazing nurses that took such good care of me. I had to take a 5 week course before I could have the surgery during one of the classes they told us about a moment a what have I done to myself moment. For me it came the day after I had the surgery. I was sitting up for the first time in 24 hours and as I sat alone in my room in ICU in more pain then I had ever been in all I could think over and over again was what have I done to myself. I was tired, lonely, in pain and had tubes everywhere. When you get to that place you think it will never get better but it did. I just took longer then i thought it would. I was only supposed to be in ICU for 24 hours I was there for 3 day. I had never had high blood pressure in my life but for the first 36 hours after the surgery its was a lot higher then it should of been and that worried Doctor M. By the end of the 3rd day it had gone down enough to move me out of ICU . I wish I could tell you that the rest of my hospital stay was went by without any problems but at last I cannot but you will just have t wait to hear the rest.

please help support my journey. http://www.gofundme.com/b3xa2o

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About Me
37.6
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Jul 24, 2014
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