9 days post op

Jun 17, 2009

I'm home.  I was in the hospital a day longer than expected.  I'm so tired.  I had no idea how bad this was going to be.  i was scared and worried, and things are NEVER as bad as you expect they'll be right?  This was worse

I'm so lonely.  I don't get to sleep with my gf in the bed.  I can't really hug her, or even sit next to her on the couch.  I'm in a chair that has arms and a foot stool.  She's here helping me.  She's been so helpful, but she is more my caretaker than my partner right now.  We only talk about how I'm feeling, and that I need to drink more (it's a constant battle to drink for me)  we don't talk.  The stress of how hard a time my surgery went started her smoking again.  She goes outside to smoke and i sit in the house alone while she does something that was such a struggle to stop. 

I'm dehydrated.  i had upset stomach for 2 days and anything I took in went right out the other end.  I had labwork done and may need to go in and get IV fluids if i don't get more liquid in me.

I have a headache, feel lightheaded and get so exhausted just walking around the house for 2 minutes.

I can't even hold my dog.

I question why I did this.

I've lost 17lbs.  I gained 3 in the hospital, but have lost over 17 since being home.  5 days.  17lbs.  I guess that's why I did it. 

right now it's not worth it.  I feel horrible.  I was prepared for pain but I'm suprised at the sadness i feel, the loneliness and te depression.

i just feel so down.

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About Me
Portland, OR
Location
58.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/08/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 01, 2009
Member Since

Friends 16

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