ValerieS44

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

WOW, it has been a year since my last blog.  Alot has gone on.  The biggest thing is I have really gotten into doing 1/2 marathons.  Not running but fast walkine.  I did 3 in 2010.  So far this year I have done 6 in less than 4 months.  Had a blast afterwards but walking for 3 +hours is a bit too much.  My next one will be in November for the Pensacola 1/2.  I am training some co-workers for Disney Princess Half Marathon in Feb 2012.  Anyone wants to joins us let me know.  That is a fun one.  Well I will try to come here more often to keep up with everyone!  Miss you all.

Today I did a 12 mile walk as part of my training for my half marathons.  I started out this afternoon, around 2:30 pm.  The sky was cloudy and I thought this would be good to keep me cool.  About a mile into my walk, it started to sprinkle, then to rain.  I turned around to go back home but thought, no, I am going to keep on going.  It would be good training because the chances of one of the 3 half marathons (all in Florida) having rain are pretty high.  As I was walking, getting soaked from head to toe, I started thinking (what else is there to do for 3 hours?). If this had happened a year ago, at 280 lbs, (first of all I never would have been out walking)  I would have turned around and gone home by way of the Circle K that I would have walked by.  I would have gone in, bought 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's (Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Peanutbutter Cup) and anything else that looked good, gone home, changed into cumfy clothes, curled up on the couch and watched a dvd while eating BOTH pints of ice cream.  But not today.  I put in the full 12.15 miles, in the rain, or wind, or just cloudy weather.  I am proud of myself for not giving into the old fat girl thoughts.   I still hear her every now and then.  I just try not to listen to her.  Today, I listened to me!

Wow, just realized it has been forever since I have written a blog.  Alot has been going on.  Since I started training for the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon that will be March 7, I haven't been doing anything but that it seems.  I have either a 5k or 10k just about every Saturday, I have Jazzercise when I can fit it in.  Work is the same but feel better, especially my knees and feet. 
     Tired of all this cold weather...and tired of being cold all the time.  Everyone kept telling me that would happen, but when you have been hot all your life (no, not in that context..lol) it is hard to believe it will happen to you.  Now my skinny co-workers laugh at me in long sleeve shirts under my scrub tops.  But that is okay, if that is the worst....I'll take it. 
     I keep going to the support groups every month.  It is always good to see fellow Loser Bench warmers...lol 
    I joined a running club for ladies called Phat Girlz (Pretty Hot And Tasty) and it is amazing that since they never new me as fat,  they made me feel that I fit right in.  The fat girl that is still inside is amazed by this.  The healthy girl understands that it is the way it should be.  Sounds strange but the fat girl still can be heard every now and then..just not as often, or as loud.  I know I will never completely get rid of her, nor should I, she is a big part of my history and life.  I just need to learn from her not to let her command my life again. 
     Well, I am tired.  I just finished a 10k at Pensacola Beach, in the windy rain.  I won the 10k walkers division......and the announcer had to let everyone know I was the only walker to attempt it....then the Pensacola News Journal interviewed me so I will have to buy a paper tomorrow.  I am now warm, tired and ready to curl up on the couch and catch up on some tv shows I haven't been able to watch this week.  Tomorrow I have to get up early and if the weather cooperates with me- I will get in an 11 mile walk.  Not fast, but distance. 
     I hope it won't be another 6 months before I blog.  But if it is, know I will be saying my motivation while I am walking-Burn Fat Burn! 

See you on the Loser's Bench!

P.S.  I have a facebook page for gastric bypass patients or those waiting for it called The Loser's Bench. 

I never know what I am going to think about when I am doing my walks.  It sometimes amazes me what my brain will think about.  Like, last weekend I started thinking about how my poop has changed.  Everything about it is different.  And the gas....so am glad no one is walking behind me on my walks.  I sound like an engine with the hiccoups.  And while on one of these walks I got the brilliant idea (said in sarcasm) to do a half marathon.  And not just a half marathon but one in Disney World.  and not just a half marathon at Disney World but a 5k the day before.  What am I thinking??!!!  The last time I did a half marathon (the only time I did one..lol)  I ended up with heat stroke and dehydration.  And I swore I would never do another one again.  Well the years have obviously faded that memory because this weekend I signed up for one in March.  My birthday week March.  Oh, well, that is a goal to work towards.  And I know what I did wrong last time so I can do better this time.  And thankfully training will be in the winter so I shouldn't get too hot..yeah, I know I live in Florida and it still gets warm in the winter. A gal can wish....I reached 90 pounds by my scales yesterday.  Last week I had a dream that I hit my land mark then......alas it was just a dream.  And since I weighed today and was still at 90 lbs lost I know this one is not a dream...lol   My workouts.  I am doing Jazzercise about 5-6 days a week.  walking on the weekend (I have the Bushwacker 5k this weekend coming up), and water aerobics/water volleyball only one day a week.  I have found that the Bromide that they use as chemicals irritates my skin, but I won't give up my volleyball...it is too much fun!  Actually, I have signed up to do about 6 more 5ks maybe a few more that I am not thinking about..  They are good incentives to keep me walking.  Besides, I usually get a great t-shirt out of it.  Well, that is enough ramblings for now.  Gotta go book my hotel room for my Disney trip next year.  TaTa for now!

Since I had my surgery in February, I really haven't had any problems.  I haven't experienced dumping syndrone-of course, I haven't had any real sugar..lol.  I have been careful to chew, chew, chew my food.  So far, so good.  And to be honest, I have never really considered myself a vain person.  I play up my assets and down play my problem areas.  And I have felt lucky because my hair has been very easy to deal with and has always been on the thick side.  Even when I get a crapppy haircut, I can usually deal with it.  But this thinning of my hair is starting to freak me out a little bit.    I know most people can't tell but the top of my hair has thinned out so much that when my hair is wet I can see my scalp.  UGH!  I have to manipulate my bangs and the top of my hair in such a way as to make it look thicker.  I feel like a bald man with abad  comb over and everyone knows he is bald.  I feel like I am not fooling anyone....  I have been taking biotin and zinc, I thought I was getting enough protein, but I added my protein shakes back in.  BLAH!  Hopefully in a few months, my body will adjust and things will change.  Either that or I will have to invest in some wigs.   Could be fun...a blonde one day, a redhead the next.  Long sexy hair for a night on the town, and a sassy short do for Jazzercise.....hmmmm maybe a toupe is what I need....A different me everyday...lol,  Nah, I like the old me.  I guess it's wait and see time. 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (ode to George Lucas) I had lost alot of weight.  As I started gaining it back I kept my clothes.  I always new I would get back down in size.  Well, the day came when my size 20 pants were getting a little too big.  I pulled out the box with the size 18 and tried them on.  Lo and behold they were about 2 inches from closing.  HMMM, that doesn't make much sense.  So I go to Walmart and try on size 18 pants from the "womens" department and lookey there, they fit!  Well, I guess the jeans at home are regular person size 18, and the ones I bought from Walmart are big girls 18 (what they call 18w).  I know I should be excited to be in a smaller size but it is a little disapointing that is isnt in a "real" size 18.  Oh, well, just about another inch or so and I will be in them.  Even if I turn blue because I can't breath...lol 
Lesson learned---all sizes are not created equal!

As I am writing this it is only 9:16am on Saturday, May 2, 2009.  Let me tell you about my day so far.  Woke up at 3am, and cooked me a nice, protein rich breakfast.  Eggbeaters with sauted onions and mushrooms (sauted in Pam) with chicken sausage that has roasted garlic and mozarella cheese scrambled all together then put on a Tostada shell, topped with cheese and mmmm delish.  Took a quick shower, dried my hair.  Got dressed in my walking shorts, tank top and tennis shoes.  Packed me some water and yogurt and left the apartment at 5:30.  Found a great parking spot near Seville Square and sat for about 45 mins waiting for the sun to rise and to get a little closer to starting time.  Starting time for what you ask?  Keep reading.  I got out of my car and grabbed my walkman and my water and just casually walked around Seville and then found the port-o-pottie (thank goodness for the man who invented them!).  Did some stretching exercises and then loaded onto the bus.  A big yellow bus.  It took us over to 12 th ave to the starting line.  The starting line for what you ask?  For the Fiesta 5K run/walk!  Yes, 3 months after having bariatric surgery I signed myself up for a 5K.  (am I crazy?  Don't answer, that is a loaded question). The first one in over 2 years.  Well, some young kids sang the National Anthem, and very nicely I might add, (always get a little teary eyed when I hear that song).  The gun went off at 7:37 and off we went.  Now I signed up as a runner even though I am primarily a walker but if you run at all, you can't sign up as a walker.  So I started out with a light jog.  That didn't last long.  I am 5'3' and weigh 223lbs and my poor knees said NO!  I backed it down to a brisk walk.  The music on my mp3 player was a lot of fast songs so I got into the rhythm of the songs, Garth Brooks singing about Louisianna, and Ain't going down til the sun comes up and fever, and Journey, and even Sir Mix-a-lot rappin Baby Got Back.  We go strait down 12 ave to Cervantes and the Police have traffic stopped and here we go crossing on Red and taking the far left lane going west.  How cool is that!  People are passing me but my goal is just to finish the race.  I don't care about medals or times, I just want to finish.  I was walking a little faster than I normally do on my weekly walks.  Goodness, it isn't even eight oclock yet and it is hot!  I come up to the corner of Cervantes and 9th Ave and what is to my left?  KRISPY KREME!  Oh, the cruel fates are making my walk past KRISPY KREME!  And you could SMELL it.  There is nothing better than a hot Krispy Kreme.  Good thing I didn't have any money on me or I might have been tempted to go thru the drive thru.  As it was I was thinking of selling my body for just one doughnut.  But I resisted temptation.  I kept on walking, keeping my eye up a head but then what did I see........Ugh, a huge hill!  Okay, a huge hill to me.  I didn't think that hill was going to end, not quite Mount Everest but a close second...lol   At the top of the hill we turned left onto Palafox St.  Yippee, down hill...wheee.  I thought I could jog this and get a little ahead on my time  but I thought......all I need is for my feet to get out from under me and me falling and rolling all the way down the hill...(that probably would be funny looking) so I decided to walk it instead.  At this point I was really feeling the heat.  And the runners from the 10K that started at Cordova mall are passing my like I am standing still.  I cheer them on because next year I am doing the 10K.  We finish the race at Seville Square adn my time was 50:55.  Yahoo!  Hurray!  Whoopie!  UGH!  I am hot, tired, but so proud of myself, I finished the 5k, I wasn't the last one and I survived to walk another day.  Next Saturday  is the St Johns Sunset 5k.  And I will do it all over again.  Just a little walk.
***Just got the official results from the race-I came 320 out of 320 runners, (not bad for someone mostly walking)...with a time of 51:13!  Not too far off my watch. ****

I hate scales!  No, let me re-phrase that.  I hate MY scales!  And not for the reason you would think.  I have 2 scales.  both digital and one has all the bells and whistles like measuring fat percintage, being able to put in age and height, etc.  The other is just your basic model, just tells you your weight.  I have had them both for yearssss.  The expensive one that tells you everything gives me the exact same weight for a week.  Doesn't matter if I weight in the am, pm, noon, with clothes on, without clothes, just the same weight to .1 of a pound.  Now tell me, how can anyone weigh the same EVERYDAY for a week when you are eating only 600 -    800 calories a day.  It is not possible, because your weight fluctuates from am to pm.  So I said fine, I will start using my other scale.  Which worked fine at first. Then, I would weigh (lets say I was around 235lbs) and it would say 263lbs.  So I would step off and back on and it would say 245lbs.  Step off and back on and it would say 234lbs.  Back off and on and it might say 241lbs.  Now I know my weight isn't going to change that much in a 5 min span.  So, now I only weigh on mondays at work.  I need to get to my 3 month checkup (4/28/09)  and get my weight there so I will know where the work scales compare to his to get my correct weight.  If all is as I have figured out, I should be at 51 pounds right now!!   Yippee, yahoo, woo hoo, happy, happy, joy, joy!  I guess now I love scales!

I decided to do something I haven't done in a long time.  I went singing at karaoke.  And with that decision, I decided to return to my life.  Here is what you don't know about me.  I have never (until recently) let my weight stand in my way if I wanted to do something.  I have been white water rafting, parachuted out of an airplane (yes a perfectly good one at that), I love to travel, alone if no one else can go and a roller coaster is just about the most fun you can have in 1 minute.  And I have been doing karaoke for about 17 years. 
     A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight.  I did it healthily by eating right and exercising.  I did 5k races, Jazzercise and even trained for the Walt Disney 1/2 marathon-finishing it in 3 hrs 31 mins 10 sec.  Everyone congratulated me on doing so well, said I was looking wonderful and how proud they were of me.  But not long after the 1/2 marathon I started gaining weight.  First it was just a couple of pounds, then I had to buy new pants, then new tops, bras, underwear, and even shoes.  Next thing you know I have put every pound back on.  And with each pound I put on I was embarrassed, ashamed, sad, upset that I did it again.  And I withdrew some.  But I still went to karaoke with my best friends, at least twice a week.  Then they moved to Atlanta.  And that gave me an excuse not to go out for a while.  One month turned into 6 months which turned into a year.  Wow, after singing karaoke for 17 years with missing very few weekends to one year of not singing.  I would tell people "After that long I needed a break".  That was not the real reason.  I was too ashamed that I had gained the weight back.  I didn't want to see the look in peoples eyes that said tsk, tsk...look at her.  couldn't manage to keep the weight off.  More than likely that look was only in my minds eyes but that was what I saw.  So for the last couple of years I haven't done much of anything other than hanging out at my home, watching movies with my two best friends-Ben and Jerry's (now my ex-friends).  I disengaged from my life.  I now realize that I was functioning depressed.  
    Now that I have had my gastric bypass, I am feeling physicaly better, my self esteem is getting a boost, my desire to interact with the world outside of work has been elevated.  And I did something I haven't done in a long time.  I went and sang karaoke.  Fortunately, there were some friends that I haven't seen since the last time I went and they hugged me and welcomed me back "home".  I sang some songs and got a round of applause that I haven't heard in a long time.  And I accepted their kudos not just for my singing, but also their acceptance of me as a person.  
    Valerie, this is Valerie.....Welcome back! 

Let me tell you about my trip.  No, I didn't travel out of town or anything fun like that.  I had decided to start doing 5k races as incentive to exercise.  I am one of those people that once I sign up, I will do it.  So since the today was the first in many days to be beautiful and not raining, I decided to get up early and walk 2 miles.  I had my earphones on listening to fast music, I had my water to sip, sip, sip.  I was going at a pretty good pace when the toe of my brand new shoes hit where the sidewalk wasn't even.  I took a few steps to try to right myself but gravity wasn't letting that happen.  I didn't want to land flat on my hands because I could posibly break my wrist with my weight so I tried to twist a little so I could do that roll that you see in action movies.  So I landed on my hands but I turned so that I then landed on my right shoulder and rolled over and ended on my knees.  Bottle dropped, sunglasses flying, I realized I didn't hurt myself too bad.  My shoulder will bruise, my hands are a little scrapped.  But considering 243 lbs fell pretty hard, I was in pretty good shape. I picked everything up and started walking again.  But I realized that it hurt just a little to breath in.  And I kept on walking.  And the discomfort kept getting a little worse.  At about one mile away from home I thought about if it could have affected my gastric bypass or innerds since it had only been 6 &1/2 weeks since surgery.  at about 1.5 miles into to the walk I realized that I also had a hiatal hernia repair and diaphragm repair at the same time and hmmmm...breathing pain, diaphragm surgery.....  Well, that was when I decided to get checked out at the emergency room just to make sure.  Since I work with ER doctors and know them very well, I checked with one of them and he felt I should get a cat scan of my abdomen and pelvis (this includes the diaphragm).  Everything was normal so it is just probably the jarring from the fall.  I was sooo happy to hear this.  As the day has gone by I am getting more and more sore.  But this too shall pass.  So everyone out there, be careful walking.  I have been doing it for 46 years and you would think I would have mastered it by now...lol  Now quit reading this and go outside and enjoy this beautiful weather!