Two Months Out!

Jun 30, 2013

Well here we go.  It's been two months today since I've been sleeved.  What can I say?  I've lost a good amount of weight at this point.  According to my ticker, I'm about halfway to my first goal.

The strange thing is that today, I've felt like crap. We just got back from the Poconos and I went off my eating plan.  The worst part of going off my eating plan is that I fed into everyone's BS.  Oh, but you only ate a little bit!  Well first, DUH, I can only eat a little bit.  But I ate things that I shouldn't have eaten and I'm kind of disappointed in myself.  I could say that I ate 3 nachos and some french fries and say that wasn't too bad. But I can't make excuses for myself.  It's too easy to fall back into old habits.  I'm so surprised that I"m here!  When I was first sleeved, I didn't want anything, I wasn't tempted by anything or by anyone, but this past week was not so good.  No more excuses.  I've lost a lot of weight in the past two months and my plan is to keep up that momentum. 

I thought I"d be a better blogger, but I think I don't do it often enough to really get it going.  It's going to get better but I'm tired now.

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One Month Surgiversary

May 30, 2013

Has it been a month already?  Wow-sah!  It really has.  I was talking to my mom and brother and they said it seemed like I just had it.  It's been a heck of a month, that's for sure!  I've lost 33 pounds since surgery and 47 pounds in all.  I can't keep my HealthTracker widget straight, but I asked my doctor what my highest weight was and she said 314.  My lowest recorded weight at this point is 267.  I think I'm hitting that dreaded stall because I've been playing around with this last pound for the past week.  Grrrrr.  But thanks to this forum, I know that it's normal and I"m not going to panic about it.  No time to exercise today, but I will definitely up my protein and water.

Sooooo, what have I learned in this past month?

1 - I'm not as tough as I thought I was.  It's a lot harder to heal at age 39 than it was at age 35.  Plus, THIS IS MAJOR SURGERY!  I had no idea it was so serious!  It took me about a week to get my head out of my ass.  Then another two weeks to get it back on my shoulders correctly.

2 - This is a lot of work!  Who would have ever thought that the simple thought of eating or drinking would cause me bouts of depression and anxiety?  Well they do.  Sometimes I get frustrated because (a) I have to do it and (b) it's so hard sometimes.  But I'm understanding that this is my path to good health and I'm going to hang in there.  Not hanging in there is what got me to the place where I needed this surgery.

3 - I've taken a lot for granted.  I'm so excited to be in the 260's again.  I never thought about it on my way up that I"d be so excited to get back down here.  Today, I'm wearing a dress that I haven't been able to wear in two years.  Last night, I had on a dress that I hadn't worn in three years.  And just to keep it rated PG - last night was pretty damn good.  The best it's been for a long time (about 47 pounds ago).  Let me tell you, that alone is making me want to make sure I keep this up!  LOL

4 - The future is scary.  Right now, I'm in the honeymoon phase.  The weight is coming off with little to no effort on my part.  Stalls are to be expected, but I'm worried about what happens when the honeymoon is over.  What happens if I eat a cookie or a slice of pizza or a piece of cake?  What happens when I have a bad day and I want to call on my old friends Ben and Jerry?  Will I be strong enough to resist?  Will I be able to rely on my new habits to avoid my old and bad habits?  I'm nervous about what happens next.  What happens in 3 years from now?  I don't know what my food addictions are.  I don't know if I need to see a therapist like so many of the other people on this forum.  

At any rate, this month has flown by.  I'm a little slimmer and a little happier.  I'm excited about what is going to happen in the next month and the month after that.  Not ready to post pictures because it seems a little unreal at this point.  Sometimes I look at my arm and I wonder who it belongs to!

If my sleeve was a person, I'd marry it.  Plain and simple.

 

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Back to Work!

May 21, 2013

Finally, I'm back to work!  I was going a little stir crazy at home.  My doctor prefers that I stay out for 4 weeks.  Not necessarily for healing purposes but because at the three week stage, I'm introducing mushy foods.  Trying to balance the mushy foods, the protein and the liquids is a full time job!!! At any rate.  Day one is done.  I was ready to go to bed by 4:00!  I had some more protein and muddled through job #2.  Now, at 9:00, I'm trying to finish the last of my protein and liquids before I go to bed.  And as we all know, there is no rushing the sleeve!  I'm still taking little small sips of my protein shake, waiting for the burp, then taking another sip!  Life is funny.

One of the cool things that happened at work today was the chairs.  Weird?  There are a couple of offices that have sturdy chairs with sturdy arms on them.  Pre-surgery, my hips - those chairs - tight fit.  Today I went in to one of the offices and sat right down!  It wasn't until I was sitting that I realized "Hey, this chair isn't so tight anymore!"  I was so excited that I said it out loud!  I'm starting to see the NSV's that everyone talks about on the forums.

Right now I'm in the honeymoon phase with my sleeve.  I love her, she loves me (most times).  While I'm excited about what the future holds, I'm really nervous about what happens when my sleeve is mature and I can eat whatever I want.  I am an emotional eater - I know that I am.  Lately, life has been relatively stress free, but I know that can't / won't last and I'm wondering when shit hits the fan, how I'm going to react to it.  I'm hoping that I won't dive back into eating!  

The other adjustment that I am making is what to do in my free time.  On Sunday, the entire family went to Friday's for lunch.  I went too.  I sat there while everybody ordered whatever they wanted and I had iced tea.  The weird thing was, it didn't bother me. I wasn't looking longingly at what everyone else was having.  I was quite content just hanging out with the fam.  Pre-sleeve, I went out to eat probably twice a month (maybe more if I thought about it hard enough).  That was my entertainment.  Now I have to find new things to do with my friends.  I wonder if my friends will want to do the new things with me?  I want to do things that are more active - golfing, walking, etc.  Maybe I will end up with new sets of friends!  Who knows.

I'm rambling (which I guess is what a blog is for) so I'm ending this for today.  I let 2 weeks slide without any updates, so I'm going to use this blog to keep track of the exciting haps with the sleeve!

 

 

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One Week Out

May 07, 2013

Well, I've been sleeved for a week now.  Overall, it's been an interesting experience.  There is so much information out there, but the biggest thing that I've learned is that everybody is different and there are no stupid questions.  I thought I had gas.  I didn't know I had stitches way deep inside that pull and feel like gas pains.  Thought I was kind of dying at one point.  But it's all good.  The other thing my doctor said today was that bariatric surgery is one of the most traumatic surgeries that your body can go through.  The only ones that are more traumatic are brain and heart surgery (according to my doctors).  I was fooled by the 5 little holes.  I was expecting to be up and running relatively soon.  Woops!  I was wrong.  I do one or two things and then I'm ready to go back to sleep.  I'm still glad that I've gotten it done.  I'm excited to see how I progress on this journey.  Right now I'm still in the liquid phase - some full liquids, but mostly clear liquids because I know I can handle them.  Each day, each new food is a new experience.  

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One Week Out

May 07, 2013

Well, I've been sleeved for a week now.  Overall, it's been an interesting experience.  There is so much information out there, but the biggest thing that I've learned is that everybody is different and there are no stupid questions.  I thought I had gas.  I didn't know I had stitches way deep inside that pull and feel like gas pains.  Thought I was kind of dying at one point.  But it's all good.  The other thing my doctor said today was that bariatric surgery is one of the most traumatic surgeries that your body can go through.  The only ones that are more traumatic are brain and heart surgery (according to my doctors).  I was fooled by the 5 little holes.  I was expecting to be up and running relatively soon.  Woops!  I was wrong.  I do one or two things and then I'm ready to go back to sleep.  I'm still glad that I've gotten it done.  I'm excited to see how I progress on this journey.  Right now I'm still in the liquid phase - some full liquids, but mostly clear liquids because I know I can handle them.  Each day, each new food is a new experience.  

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Four Days Home

May 03, 2013

I don't know what I"d do without this website!  I've been home for four days now.  I was so excited when I came home on Thursday.  I figured I hadn't eaten in DAYS so I MUST have lost weight.  So I hop on the scale and watch the numbers zoom past what I weighed on surgery day.  WTH?!?!?!  I was devastated!  I couldn't believe the scale.  But because of this website, I've been reassured that this is kind of normal because of the fluids and whatnot that they were pumping into me while I was in the hopsital.

(I actually started this post when I was 2 days home, but I've been so busy, that I didn't get a chance to finish it).

Anyway, it's Sunday morning and I've lost those pounds and I'm feeling pretty good.  The water has been a struggle, but I'm getting it in each day.  I think that I'm going to have to buy some bottles or something to remind me of how much I need to drink and all that fun stuff.  I haven't had to take any pain pills in a few days, not even a Tylenol.  I started my multivitamin (Centrum Grape is the BOMB!) and Tums.  I have to take Pepcid everyday for 3 months. Plus it's allergy season.  I'm not used to taking so many pills, but it's all for the greater good.  I've done some walking and it felt pretty good.  Sitting for a while makes my incisions hurt so that is even more incentive to get up and walk.

That's it for now.  I"ll keep updating my progress as we move along.

 

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This Is It!

Apr 28, 2013

Okay, here goes.  This is it.  When I started this journey over a year ago, I weighed 311 pounds (probably a little more at some points).  I was initially scheduled to have this surgery on November 1.  A few days before surgery, I was shopping at Pier 1 and got the dreaded phone call - "your insurance has denied your surgery".  Ruined my entire shopping experience.  LOL.  I didn't immediately fall back into my bad eating patterns, but I did gain back about 12 of the 23 pounds that I lost.

Now, six months later, everything has been approved (appeals aren't really that hard, just a little letter writing) and now tomorrow is the BIG Day.  I realized that everything that I've every known is about to change.  I've struggled with my weight over the years.  I've realized that I"m an emotional eater.  I know that my emotions will still be there, but how I deal with them will have to change.  During the past two weeks, I've been on the liquid diet and I've had to find other, healthy things to do.  

I am excited and terrified and scared and happy and nervous and everything.  But ultimately, I"m ready to do this!  I have the semi-support of my family (we've had some tragedies regarding this type of surgery) and the semi-support of my boyfriend,  He understands my struggle and he knows I'm a TERRIBLE patient.  All in all, he has my back and as an athletic person, he is looking forward to doing more than going out to eat and watching movies at my house.

I have a list of things that I want to do by next year.  I want to start golfing.  I want to go river tubing next summer.  I want to go hiking.  I want to run a 5k.  I want to do a zip line tour of SOMEWHERE.  I want to fly without feeling like I'm overlapping onto someone else's seat.  I want to go back to my baseball games and feel comfortable.  I want to stop bumping into people when I walk (a little of that has to do with my natural clumsiness!).  I want to not measure the seat when I go to sit down.  I want to look at pictures of myself and say "who is that hot chick" in the picture instead of wondering who the fat girl is.  I will be 40 next year and my son will be graduating from college the month after my birthday.  I want to be comfortable at his college graduation instead of uncomfortable like I was at his high school graduation 4 years ago.  I am so excited about what life has to bring.  

THIS IS SO EXCITING!  

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Apr 28, 2013
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