This Is It!

Apr 28, 2013

Okay, here goes.  This is it.  When I started this journey over a year ago, I weighed 311 pounds (probably a little more at some points).  I was initially scheduled to have this surgery on November 1.  A few days before surgery, I was shopping at Pier 1 and got the dreaded phone call - "your insurance has denied your surgery".  Ruined my entire shopping experience.  LOL.  I didn't immediately fall back into my bad eating patterns, but I did gain back about 12 of the 23 pounds that I lost.

Now, six months later, everything has been approved (appeals aren't really that hard, just a little letter writing) and now tomorrow is the BIG Day.  I realized that everything that I've every known is about to change.  I've struggled with my weight over the years.  I've realized that I"m an emotional eater.  I know that my emotions will still be there, but how I deal with them will have to change.  During the past two weeks, I've been on the liquid diet and I've had to find other, healthy things to do.  

I am excited and terrified and scared and happy and nervous and everything.  But ultimately, I"m ready to do this!  I have the semi-support of my family (we've had some tragedies regarding this type of surgery) and the semi-support of my boyfriend,  He understands my struggle and he knows I'm a TERRIBLE patient.  All in all, he has my back and as an athletic person, he is looking forward to doing more than going out to eat and watching movies at my house.

I have a list of things that I want to do by next year.  I want to start golfing.  I want to go river tubing next summer.  I want to go hiking.  I want to run a 5k.  I want to do a zip line tour of SOMEWHERE.  I want to fly without feeling like I'm overlapping onto someone else's seat.  I want to go back to my baseball games and feel comfortable.  I want to stop bumping into people when I walk (a little of that has to do with my natural clumsiness!).  I want to not measure the seat when I go to sit down.  I want to look at pictures of myself and say "who is that hot chick" in the picture instead of wondering who the fat girl is.  I will be 40 next year and my son will be graduating from college the month after my birthday.  I want to be comfortable at his college graduation instead of uncomfortable like I was at his high school graduation 4 years ago.  I am so excited about what life has to bring.  

THIS IS SO EXCITING!  

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