One Month Surgiversary

May 30, 2013

Has it been a month already?  Wow-sah!  It really has.  I was talking to my mom and brother and they said it seemed like I just had it.  It's been a heck of a month, that's for sure!  I've lost 33 pounds since surgery and 47 pounds in all.  I can't keep my HealthTracker widget straight, but I asked my doctor what my highest weight was and she said 314.  My lowest recorded weight at this point is 267.  I think I'm hitting that dreaded stall because I've been playing around with this last pound for the past week.  Grrrrr.  But thanks to this forum, I know that it's normal and I"m not going to panic about it.  No time to exercise today, but I will definitely up my protein and water.

Sooooo, what have I learned in this past month?

1 - I'm not as tough as I thought I was.  It's a lot harder to heal at age 39 than it was at age 35.  Plus, THIS IS MAJOR SURGERY!  I had no idea it was so serious!  It took me about a week to get my head out of my ass.  Then another two weeks to get it back on my shoulders correctly.

2 - This is a lot of work!  Who would have ever thought that the simple thought of eating or drinking would cause me bouts of depression and anxiety?  Well they do.  Sometimes I get frustrated because (a) I have to do it and (b) it's so hard sometimes.  But I'm understanding that this is my path to good health and I'm going to hang in there.  Not hanging in there is what got me to the place where I needed this surgery.

3 - I've taken a lot for granted.  I'm so excited to be in the 260's again.  I never thought about it on my way up that I"d be so excited to get back down here.  Today, I'm wearing a dress that I haven't been able to wear in two years.  Last night, I had on a dress that I hadn't worn in three years.  And just to keep it rated PG - last night was pretty damn good.  The best it's been for a long time (about 47 pounds ago).  Let me tell you, that alone is making me want to make sure I keep this up!  LOL

4 - The future is scary.  Right now, I'm in the honeymoon phase.  The weight is coming off with little to no effort on my part.  Stalls are to be expected, but I'm worried about what happens when the honeymoon is over.  What happens if I eat a cookie or a slice of pizza or a piece of cake?  What happens when I have a bad day and I want to call on my old friends Ben and Jerry?  Will I be strong enough to resist?  Will I be able to rely on my new habits to avoid my old and bad habits?  I'm nervous about what happens next.  What happens in 3 years from now?  I don't know what my food addictions are.  I don't know if I need to see a therapist like so many of the other people on this forum.  

At any rate, this month has flown by.  I'm a little slimmer and a little happier.  I'm excited about what is going to happen in the next month and the month after that.  Not ready to post pictures because it seems a little unreal at this point.  Sometimes I look at my arm and I wonder who it belongs to!

If my sleeve was a person, I'd marry it.  Plain and simple.

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