Some things I just can't wrap my head around.

Aug 16, 2011

So the sleep lab called and she told me said "Well I have good news and bad news...". First problem dont start conversations like that because you dont really care either way. And second, how do you know what I consider good and bad news. Anyway, I'm super upset because she told me that I stopped breathing an average of 22 times per hour. OMG! How the heck did I let myself get this way? The pre-surgery process is truly humbling because regardless of how nice your shoes and clothes are and which of the latest gadgets you have in your overpriced handbag you still are so obese you can drop dead in your sleep. Ugh I am disgusted and so hurt that I cared so little for myself until now. What is the worst that can happen in surgery because truly anything is better than living like this. Then she told me the sleep apnea has to be controlled before surgery and I jumped on the next available appointment. Tonight! She said that would guarantee me a machine early next week. I'm happy but what does "controlled" mean? I hope it means obtaining a cpap machine because there is nothing that will prevent me from getting this surgery. NOTHING.

Another thing that boils my pot, is everyone thinking that I am sooo young for this procedure and acting as if I dont or didn't have the brain power to weigh all my options and do the research I needed for clarity. That truly makes me mad. So when people ask me "Have you...?" I never answer. I have made my mind up and respect the risks associated and am taking it all into account. Plus how young do they think I am I'm darn near 30 years old. I made it this far without their suggestion and opinion. Anyway I totally needed to vent because I don't really want to talk to anyone else but my OH friends.

Oh yeah and if one more idiot suggests weight watchers i'm gonna spazz out!!! Yeah you think I haven't thought of that?

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