venturabeachgirl

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So the date has finally arrived! We have to leave for the hospital tomorrow morning by 3:30AM. I'm supposed to check-in at 5:15AM and I don't want to be late. I know I wont be able to sleep a wink, but it's always that way when I have to get up very early the next day... it's easier to just not sleep. I've prepared my overnight bag, and my boyfriend's too. He's nervous too, but at least he can still sleep! I am just too excited! My next post will be post-op. I will try to do it as soon as I get home. I'm expecting to be home by Tuesday, barring any complications, which I've made up my mind I'm not going to have... thanks the power of positive thinking. My surgery is scheduled for 7AM and I should be in my room by 12:00 Noon. My mom and my sisters are planning to visit and my boyfriend will be spending the night with me. I've heard I will probably not get much sleep, but that's OK... I'll sleep once I'm home in my own bed.

I had my final pre-op appointment with Dr. Khalili, as well as a blood type and screen. I can't believe my surgery is less than a week away. I'm definitely starting to panic. Logically, I know I'm doing the right thing, but it's hard not to think of all the things that can go wrong. My boyfriend has been my rock. I think the only reason I haven't fallen apart is because he's keeping me sane. I know I'm still young and that I have every chance of a speedy and complete recovery, but like I said... it's hard not to think of all the things that can go wrong. I'm glad I can express my fears and concerns here... it's very therapeutic. I have to go on a 2 day clear liquid diet right before my surgery. I have a baby shower to attend this weekend and I won't be able to eat anything... hopefully no one will notice. It's my niece, so I feel comfortable taking Jello to eat. There will be Jello there anyway, so I'll just blend in. My family knows all about my surgery, but there will be some guests there that don't and I don't feel like answering awkward questions. I just have to concentrate on keeping calm and positive.

Well I had some of the last of my pre-op tests today. I am officially 2 weeks away from surgery and got EKG, chest x-ray, CBC, history and physical. I will have a blood type and screen when I go to my pre-op appointment with Dr. Khalili next week and that should be the last of it. I'm starting to get really nervous. It doesn't help that I'm taking some time off work to prepare for surgery. I have way too much time on my hands and my mind wanders where it shouldn't. I have to try to keep positive and focused on being well-prepared. I stopped taking my vitamins, per my instructions from Cedars. I have a feeling the next two weeks are gonna fly by.

I had my followup appointment with the doctor who did my endoscopy. He says I'm doing great. H also gave me a prescription for Prevacid Solutabs. I won't be able to swallow any pills for about 3 months after surgery, so these will work just fine... they melt on your tongue and don't taste too gross. Since I started taking vitamins and stopped drinking sodas and caffeinated coffee I've noticed I feel much better. I have 1-2 cups of decaf on the weekends, but that's about it now. The headaches were pretty bad for the first couple of weeks, but I think I'm fine now. I would much rather go through caffeine withdrawal now that after surgery. Six weeks until my surgery. I know I'm not supposed to do the "last meal" thing, but I can't help it. I plan to hit all my favorite restaurants in the next few weeks... nothing outrageous, but I definitely want to indulge a bit. Hopefully it won't come back to bite me in the... well, you know where.

I have a date!! October 29th is the date for my surgery. I still can't believe it. After some serious discussions, which got a little heated at times, my boyfriend is finally on board. I know he was coming from a place of love and concern, but it wasn't until I showed him all information I had compiled that he understood how important this was and it was not a decision I had made lightly and without much thought. It's odd... I really thought my family was going to give me a hard time and that he was going to be easy... it was completely the other way around! The important thing is everyone I love is supportive and truly wants what's best for me. I have a followup appointment on September 10th with the doctor who did my endoscopy. I'm sure he will be very happy... because I sure am! Protonix is magic!! I haven't had heartburn since about 3 days after I started taking it and it's wonderful! I hear I may no longer need it after surgery... I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I've been approved!!! I can't believe it!! I am simultaneously thrilled, excited and terrified. It all seems very real now. I know it's for the best, but this is such a huge deal... it's going to take a few days to sink in. I have to tell my boyfriend when I get home from work. He is going to freak. But he knows how important this is to me. He knows how many things i DONT do in life because of my weight. The main reason he is so concerned is because he has a friend to almost died after her surgery because of a leak. I told him to call her and talk to her about it. It happened so long ago and I know it would ease his concerns to know she is doing just fine now. I'd love to talk to her too! I've been to a support group meeting in Ventura. It wasn't really what I was expecting. The meeting consisted of a plastic surgeon pitching his services to post-ops with too much hanging skin. Regardless, it was still nice to meet with other people who have gone through the surgery. I also recently discovered a wonderful online support group on MSN and joined right away. I've mostly been reading the posts, as I am pre-op and don't have much to share yet. But when I did post questions, everyone was quick to respond. I feel very lucky to have found them. I read the posts on this board a lot as well. There is so much information here and it's been more helpful than I can say. I'm sure it will prove invaluable after my surgery. I've started taking vitamins and have quite drinking sodas of any kind. I've also given up caffeinated coffee. I hope I don't become too moody. I'm supposed to call my care coordinator about a surgery date before the end of the week. I have to schedule it around work, so it's going to take some serious planning. I'm hoping for some time at the end of October or beginning of November. I know it's a long time from now, but after looking at my calendar, it's really the only time that will work for me. I have a few phone calls to make to try to move somethings around. I'm sure I'll be able to work it out. The important thing is I'm finally approved!

So I had my endoscopy yesterday. I would have posted yesterday, but I was completely out of it and slept for the rest of the day after my mom drove me home. True to his word, my doctor gave me pictures of procedure. All I can say is that we look A LOT better on the outside than we do on the inside! Although they were fascinating, they were a little gross. It turns out I have a small sliding hiatal hernia and a mild case of gastritis. I'm told these issues will not disqualify me from surgery, but I do need to be treated for the gastritis before the surgery. My doctor has given me a prescription for Protonix. I hear this will cure my heartburn, which I've had for years, so I'm definitely looking forward to that. For now, my only complaint is a slight sure throat. I've been really sleepy all day and when I do sleep, it's so restful!! I have the rest of the week off so I'll doing more research online. There is so much information available... I need to try to sort though it all. One thing I keep reading is that people who do well with this surgery are those who see the surgery as a tool, rather than as a cure all. I completely feel the same way. I know it's a life-changing surgery and that will take much effort on my part to make the most of this wonderful tool. Hopefully I'll hear from the insurance company soon... with good news!

I met with Dr. Khalili today. It was a short appointment, but he was very attentive and answered all of my questions. I got a very good feeling. He says I'm a perfect candidate and thinks I would do wonderfully. I'm very happy, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I still have to get approval from the insurance company. I don't think I could self-pay at Cedars. Just the thought of how much it would be makes my stomach hurt. I hear Blue Cross doesn't make it too difficult, so that makes me feel a little better. What's on my mind now is my endoscopy tomorrow. My mom is taking me. Hopefully, it will be very uneventful.

Well, I finally heard about my endoscopy. My insurance approved it and it's scheduled for August 8th... the day after I meet with Dr. Khalili. I've heard wonderful things about him. I have to remember to make a list of questions to ask. I know if I don't, I'll forget what I want to ask and I wont remember until I'm in the car on the way home. I don't want to think about the endoscopy until I have to. I know complications are rare, but if I dwell on them too much I'll just psych myself out. Work has been crazy, so at least I have plenty to keep my mind occupied.

I saw the doctor that will be doing my endoscopy today. I will be sedated for the procedure, so that makes me feel a little better. He said I would get color pictures to take home with me... now I'm really looking forward to this! Well, I don't know if I'd go that far, but I'm not feeling as nervous as I was. The doctor needs to get authorization from my insurance company before scheduling me. I should know in a few days.