vickie O.

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AND I WISH I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IT.  THERE IS ALWAYS A DISCOMFORT IN MY STOMACH AREA AND MY HERNIA IS TRYING TO COME BACK.  IT IS NOT WORTH THE WEIGHT LOSS TO ME.  I IMAGINE I SOUND VERY UNGRATEFUL TO A LOT OF PEOPLE  BUT THAT IS HOW IT IS. THAT IS WHY I FIGURED I WOULD POST IT HERE SO NOBODY WOULD READ IT.  I HAVE MET A LOT OF NICE PEOPLE HERE BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I HAVE COME TO THIS CONCLUSION.  PLEASE DON'T BE TO HARSH ON ME. 

well, down to one.  i can't wait for it to come out.  once all my scars heal, i can hold my babies in my lap,. i certainly have missed them. hombre has started sitting in front of my chair and barking at me.  i know he wants in my lap.  it is funny how attached u can get to the little ones.  hombre is a yorkie and is five pounds. mister is a mutt, who was horribly abused, and weighs 10 pounds. pattie is a rat terrier and weighs 12-13 pounds.  my damn cat, twoie, is a rescue also, (in fact all are except hombre) he is a orange tabbie and has learned the joy of outdoors. he stays in the fenced yard and just lays in the yard or hunts bugs.

my hubby has been great during all of this.  he has a lot of medical problems so he is kind of slow, but he tries his best to take care of me, the babies and the house.  i wouldn't trade for him.  this is the second time we have been married to each other. we have been married 13 3/4 years this time.  being sober has certainly helped our marriage.

i went to an AA meeting thursday and got sooooooooo many compliments. several people didn't even recognize me.  i hadn't been to a meeting for a couple of months because of the surgery and baby sitting my grandkids in july.  they are such good friends.  i have become closer to some people at bariatric buddies than i am to a lot of the people in AA.  both groups are important in my life. as far as saving my life, i would have to chose AA. without it i am not going to stay sober and that is the most important thing in my life. without my sobriety, i wouldn't have the love or respect of my kids, hubby, parents, friends.  i wasn't a very nice drunk.

now i have to treat my maintenance on weight loss the same way. i must do what i have to do to be able to keep  my weight down.  i will start doing like doc warnock says when i get stabilized on my weight after this surgery. he says to weigh yourself everyday and if u gain weight, go on a liquid diet for two days to lose it.  however, he said there are two types of patients. one you worry about gaining weight and the other you worry about losing too much weight. he said i am in the losing too much weight category.  i would like to hit a happy medium.

well enough for now. just words of rambling.  thanks for my friends at oh, especially at bariatric buddies.

well i had the surgery on 8/26 and it is a pain.  i still have three drains left and they are a constant source of pain and irritation.  i'm glad i had it done.  i just wish i would finish healing so i could get my dogs in my lap.  i miss them, but i will not risk having them close to my wounds and getting an infection.  they look at me and one of them talks to me trying to get me to play with him.  i won't even do that because i afraid then he would start jumping in my lap.  this is what happened with my wls.  it will be ok in a few weeks,i hope.
i am down to about 150, but still swollen from the surgery. i doubt if i could get into size twelve now. maybe a sixteen or a fourteen if i breath in real deep. lol  i have reset my goal to 142, that is what my ideal body weight is.  however, if i don't lose anymore weight and lose some of the swelling, i will be satisfied. 
i have been fortunate to have my husband. he has been so supportive through everything.  he is slow on the uptake in the housekeeping, but that is the way it is.  he has such physical limitations and gets so tired and in pain, i can't blame him.  i am so lucky to have the support of my family. a lot of people don't. i find myself reluctant to tell just everybody about the tummy tuck.  i sort of get embarrassed. it is personal. 

07/05/09
     WELL, I STILL HAVE THIS DANG HERNIA AND IT IS STARTING TO BOTHER ME SOME.  I HOPE I CAN WAIT UNTIL AUGUST FOR THE SURGERY AND THAT BRINGS UP A REALLY SCARY THOUGHT-PLASTICS.  I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE PAN NI CUT OFF, BUT THE DRAINS AND EVERYTHING SCARE ME.  IT CROSSES MY MIND THAT I MIGHT DIE ON THE TABLE.  YET, HERE I SIT WITH A TERRIBLE RASH FINALLY HEALING UNDER MY PANNI.  I KNOW I NEED TO GET THE PANNI AND HERNIA TAKEN CARE OF THE SAME TIME, YET IT IS SCARY. 
      SO FAR I HAVE LOST OVER 100 LBS SINCE MY PRESURGERY DIET AND HAVE ABOUT 22 MORE TO GO TO GET TO 155.  I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET DOWN TO 135 BUT I THINK AT MY AGE THAT IS NOT FEASIBLE. SO EVEN THOUGH DR. WARNOCK WANT ME TO GET TO 160, I WANT TO GET DOWN TO 155 AT LEAST.  I DON'T KNOW IF HE WILL BE ABLE TO PUT OFF THE SURGERY THAT LONG SINCE IT IS STARTING TO BOTHER ME. I AM ONLY LOSING 1 1/2-3 LBS A WEEK NOW AND I WEIGH 177.   ACCORDING TO DOCTOR WARNOCKS SCALES I WOULD WEIGH 180, HIS WEIGH 3 LBS MORE THAN MY DOCTOR THAT I WEIGH AT WEEKLY.

this is the first time for me to write on my blog.  after living in fear for two weeks and really being scared the last week, i have found out that  my problems in my brain and neck and neck arteries aren't so bad, yet.  they will not stop me from  having my  surgery.  i am so scared to have this surgery, but i must.  my  health has been going down the tubes quickly.  i want to have energy back. i want to play with my grandkids in the yard. with this surgery i will have a chance if i am willing to do what it takes.  i feel i have been in therapy long enough so i can face my . problems head on.  my shrink is a jewel and i would not trade him for anything.  my interist is considered one of the top 100 doctors in the state of texas and i am very fortunate to have him.  all my other docs are of a very high caliber and each displays a level of compassion that is out of this world. i have a husband that is totally supportive.  i belong to a 12 step program that offers me support in another area of my life that i can use in aspects of my life with life long friends.my angel, vivian p. is a wonder that never ceases. her compassion is matched by her enthusiasm and kindness.  thank you so much vivian.  my dogs show me unconditional love. my cat, well what can i say.  my parents are supportive of my surgery because they have seen my health go down the tubes.  my children(adults) and grandkids are miracles that never cease. yes i am grateful.  there are so many more things that i can't even think of them all right now.