Vicki In A Clam Shell

One Year Post Op - A little late

Apr 27, 2009

Well, to be honest I didn't post on purpose.  I have suffered from head games throughout this whole process and lately I simply cannot tell a difference in the mirror.  Physically things are as different as night and day.  Last week I started the couch to 5k running program, last April I would have told anyone that asked that I was allergic to sweat and I wouldn't be running unless it were for my life.  I suppose in a way I am running for my life now.  I do it because I can and I enjoy doing everything I can, from zipping up a size 10 skirt this morning to bending over to tie a shoe and breathing at the same time.  The peace of mind that comes from knowing I will never suffer from diabetes is priceless.  But the head games continue.  So this post is cathartic and I know you guys are great for the positive affirmation that keeps us all going at times.  I look in the mirror these days and still see myself at 270 lbs like in this picture

 
I think I was cute, very big but cute and happy really but suffering, dying really from an onslaught of sugar related problems in my body and unable to get control of it myself.  This woman is smiling but she is out of control.  The DS has taken 85 lbs from me with no effort at all on my part, I take vitamins and I count protein.  Since last week I have upped my protein to between 150-180 grams a day to help build muscle because I have lost alot of tone along with the 85 lbs.  I have a new body, a new house and a new studio.  Life really couldn't get much better than this but I still suffer from this woman above in my mirror.  She wonders if she will ever get to goal and if she does will she be able to see the real her in the mirror.  I attempt to talk to husband about these issues but he really does not get it.  I realize fact from fiction and that is why I take these pictures, pictures make things more real for me - here I am at one year out and down about 85 lbs - or thereabouts have to check my ticker for the exact number


I am happy, healthy and so optimistic about the future.  I also want to add that I thought I felt good before I started exercising but I really had no idea how good I really could feel.  I would highly recommend you do something, anything.  The couch to 5k program has an iPod Podcast that helps you count your running vs walking time, it really helps.  I never dreamed I would be able to do this.  I hope I am able to post photos of some muscles in the future, until then I am enjoying my new, smaller, though squishy body.  Love to all

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About Me
near Louisville, KY
Location
28.7
BMI
DS
Surgery
04/15/2008
Surgery Date
Jul 18, 2007
Member Since

Friends 155

Latest Blog 32
low White Blood Count
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Eight Months Post Op - lab results and questions
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