Introduction

Feb 10, 2013

Hi There!  I'm Jessica.  I'm a 27 year old college Grad, who majored in Marketing and minored in Art History.  I love watching movies, reading, playing board games, hanging out with friends, cooking, baking, shopping, etc. I'm a big music lover. I listen to just about everything. I love discussing philosophy. I consider myself to be artistic and creative.

I have a good life.  At least on paper. 

The thing is, I have been battling depressing for the majority of my adult life.  I have had a lot of ups and downs as a result.  I believe I have my depression under control.  I take medication and don't feel overwhelmed by it anymore. 

While I feel like I am past that dark place, I have some pretty big scars.  They are preventing me from really living fully.  The scars are metaphorical but they did kind of manifest physically.  When I went through the worst of my depression I gained about 80 pounds in 6 months.  I have since slowly gained more and more weight, and currently weigh roughly twice what I weighed when graduating high school. 

Don't get me wrong, I've tried a lot of things to lose weight.  I've done weight watchers, diet pills, patches you put on your arm to stop cravings, Over Eaters Anonymous, and joined gyms I never attended.  Weight Watchers worked the best out of the things I've tried, but I never got much success because I am an emotional/compulsive eater.  I think weight watchers is a great program for people who are able to follow a diet. The problem I would have is that when I over-ate, I stopped tracking my points.  I didn't want to admit that I failed.  And when I messed up my points at lunch, I would give up for the rest of the day.  And I would cycle through this for months.  Diet pills didn't work, or made me feel I had an excuse to eat more than I would otherwise.  Diet patches were a joke.  And finally, the gym is still a great choice but I would never go and then feel guilty about it.  

So what now?

I really don't think I can do this on my own.  I am looking into my options, and really think that weight loss surgery might be my best option.  Obviously it's extremely terrifying and I never thought that I would get to that point.  But - here I am, completely out of control, and don't have very many options. 

This blog is going to be a very personal journey mostly addressing my weight issues and how I'm going to take charge of my life again. 

xJ

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