1 year down... wow.

Mar 18, 2009

It's so amazing to think a year has gone by... and ONLY a year? I swear it feels like 3. With all the clothing changes and increased job responsibilites and change in my relationship at home... it feels much longer - not just 12 months. OK, here are simply honest, candid and unedited thoughts on my progress....

How I feel: 
I feel like I'm the same me.. just thinner... but just as happy and healthy. I snore less, but aside from that, I think since I was active and exercising before surgery, I never really felt slotheny or super out of shape - even though I clearly was. The attention from others has been nice, and surprising as well. I'm just not used to it I guess.

Home:
It's nice having my 4 year old not think of me as fat, or laugh at my big butt (yes, kids are brutally honest like that). My husband is excited to buy me clothes and not wonder if it will fit. It's still a bit odd to go into any store, and find that most of the clothes on the rack are not too big. I even "unsubscribed" to Lane Bryant spam today, realizing I can no longer fit into their smallest sizes now. It's all an odd feeling. I don't recognize myself sometimes in the mirror... And speaking of such, I can't wait for some of this loose skin to go away, even just a little. I realize it won't completely go away, but I've seen some sinch back up! :)  Definately don't have a swimsuit ready body yet - but at least now I can consider wearing one without complete embarrassment! I haven't worn shorts in years, and this summer, I think I have my knees back enough to where I might be able to wear some again..

Work:
If anyone ever says looks don't matter, it's about the skill.. they are wrong. Before surgery, I had my MBA, I understood my company and what we did (I've been there nearly 12 years now) and I'm working with the same folks today as I was a year, two years, three years ago. Last year, I was miserable with the lack of respect and essentially crap work that was dumped on me. Today, I'm shocked that when I open my mouth, I have the attention of the room and what I say is heard loud and clear. I have clearly moved up, have much more responsibility that is definately meaningful and people treat me so much differently. It's a bit sombering to see the change. You could say that maybe I just wasn't as bubbly a year ago.. but seriously, I was. I still decorated my cube, made the same jokes, asked the same questions and had the same personality - just in a body with 90 more pounds on my frame.

General:
By strangers, I've been approached and asked out, or get that extra glance or smile. People will ask their friends, "who is that, is she new around?" Friends who haven't seen me even for 6 weeks see a difference. My grandmother who worried about me before suddenly thinks I'm too thin now (haha!).

Time:
So much change truly feels like years, not months. After years of not loosing anything for a long time, then dropping steadily like I was part of the Biggest Looser on TV, and all of the above mentioned changes - time doesn't go by the same.

Eating:
It's nice eating whatever - just about. I still cannot eat a whole anything. About 1/3 of a lean burger, or 1 small soft taco, and feel incredibly stuffed. Tonight, I cooked up a lean, turkey breast filet (one of those flat slices) and an egg, and it took me an hour to eat. I am happy with leftovers, or meals that take all afternoon to eat. I cannot manage anything that's heavy in fat without really feeling it on my tummy. I cannot handle certain veggies and fruits still. High protein foods make me feel so good. Smooth foods, like yogurts, feel nice and go down easily. I can finally eat cereal, carefully and slowly. Mixing liquids and solid foods otherwise really doesn't go well for me. After two bites, I would otherwise feel sickly full. I'm excited that I made it a year, and never actually puked from overeating (there was just that one time I had the stomach flu - 2 weeks after surgery... that didn't count). I clearly can't drink anything carbonated even if I wanted. Wow, the noises my tummy makes. I still burp - a lot - since the surgery. Overall, I think I'm a gasier person since the surgery. :)  I still can't stand artificial sweeteners for the most part. Crystal Light is about it. Anything else diet or artifically sweetened tastes horrible. I go through some days where eating more than a couple of bites at a time is all I can handle - while other days, I can almost finish a small-sized meal - but that's rare. The more pure a food item, the more I can eat of it. If I attempt to eat a fried item, it feels like a brick in my tummy. I'm happy that a year later, I'm not eating what others may feel is a normal amount. I hope to keep it that way. I don't get hunger headaches, but if I neglect eating regularly, I may feel light-headed or slightly dizzy.

Workouts:
I still enjoy my workouts. I need to incorporate more weights I believe. Aside from being sick (I was sick the past 5 weeks - crazy cough wouldn't leave!!), my goal is 5 days a week for 40-60 minutes a day. On weekends, I try to take walks with my family. I found for a while, that when I worked out, I would gain and when I didn't, I'd drop. So that was confusing... and then I realized - on my workout days, I need to consume more calories, where before I didn't need to. But my body has adapted and now I need to compensate and increase calories so I don't go negative by working out. Then eat fewer calories on days I don't workout.

Moving Forward:
Well, I still have some to go. Another 30 lbs, give or take. It's really slowed down by a lot. I'm worried it'll take me 2 years to drop the last 30. I wonder if I'll really need surgery to remove excess skin. I wonder if I'll beome OK with how my boobs look and feel now. I wonder if the loose skin on my tummy will ever allow me to wear a bikini, or if I'll always be covered up. I want to keep up my workouts, increase strength training and body toning routines. I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle that I can also teach my son.

Those are most of my thoughts for now. I am so happy I went through with the surgery. Even though my insurance refused to cover it, and as much as I thought I failed myself because I needed to even consider surgery... I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I'm a healthier me.
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It's been forever.. I know.

Nov 22, 2008

So yeah.. I know it's been a long time. Time has really been flying right by... so here goes with highlights.

Weight Loss - what we're here for, right? The recent months have been frustrating. It's slowed by like 50%. Instead of loosing the aver 10 lbs per month, it's down to more like 5. But what happens, and this is the frustrating part, is 3 of the 4 weeks in the month, I'm a steady whatever. Then bam, one of those weeks, I drop 5 lbs out of the blue. Practically overnight. I still weigh in daily..

Workouts - so that leads me to exercise. I started shifting things up. More weights, faster on the elliptical, less resistance, go liquid diet for a couple of days, increase calories, decrease them. None worked, only gave the bad side effects of light-headedness when I lightened my calories. So the past couple of weeks, I stopped all major workout. Aside from a walk with my son or husband, just taking time and will come back to it December 1st. Just seeing what it'll do.

Hair Loss - greatly slowed back down. Coincided with loosing 5 over 10 pounds in the month. So that may just be it. On the weeks I drop the random 4-6 lbs, I shed a bit more. Also seems to be aligning itself with my "cycle" which makes me wonder if my newer birth control pills, which have a higher dosage is the culprit. The shift in when and how much I drop changed the same time I switched pills. Hmmm...?? I also have so many small hairs growing in. About 2 inches now, and I've been needing to hair spray them down to tame the static-frizz look. Haha!

Feeling great though. I still managed to drop another pant size recently. I find that I can squeeze into some 10's now (curvy style) and 12's comfortably. I'm officially at the same weight, maybe even a couple of pounds lighter, than when my husband and I first met when I was 17... which was 16 yrs ago (there I go, just dated myself.. you can do the math). I found a pair of size 24 slacks... Wow.. I put them on over my clothes and my son just started to laugh. It was like getting into a blanket. It went up well past my waist and was beyond baggy. I missed them somehow in my earlier donation piles, as they hid well in the back of the closet. I decided to keep them for ongoing humor and a reminder of exactly where I came from.

Speaking of donation... between my weight loss, my little boy growing and my husband's own weight loss - we have donated so many bags of clothes! I wonder if the IRS will question the write-offs.. haha.

Career - still improving - can you believe it? I swear I'm the same person and have the same abilities.. may have learned to bite my tongue a bit more often, but the new look defaintely has helped me out there.

Well, although I'm slacking on the postings, I haven't on the photos and measurements.. So if nothing else, you can continue tuning in for that. Picture's worth 1,000 words anyhow.. Right? :)

7 months, and like a week and a half...

Oct 04, 2008

Wow, my blogs are truly becoming less and less frequent. Last month was just an off month for me. Days I worked out, I gained. Days I didn't, I lost.. in the end, I'd only loose like 0.5 to 1 pound a month, which was the slowest I've seen.

I still have a hard time eating certain foods - like veggies and such. However, I have had a renewed liking for avocado. I don't know why, but it's been a craving of mine. I still focus on high protein, Starbucks and frozen yogurt.

That's all I can honestly think of to talk about for now. I'll try to write more later.

My 6th Month....

Sep 20, 2008

So my 6th month has been interesting... and I realize I haven't blogged as regularly - oops! I have maintained my ticker weight chart though.

So what's been interesting in this month are the ups and downs. I had my 6-month post-op checkup which went well. I'm on the right track, and down more than 50% of my goal weight, which is what the surgeon wanted to see. He also told me that my initial target of 130 lbs is probably only achievable with some tucking. I should expect to get to 140, have a tummy and wherever else tuck and that'll help me loose that last 10. I'm not sure I fully agree though. As I look at myself, there's some tucking I could benefit from, but it doesn't feel like 10 pounds. However, I still have 40-ish lbs to get to that 140 mark, so maybe by then I'll see more loose skin. I'm personally hoping that if I maintain my exercise, it'll help keep loose skin to a minimum.

My surgeon also said that I may not be seeing as great of results as others due to exercise. Muscle is heavier, as we all know. If I workout regularly, I should theoretically be burning more fat, which shows less on the scale, but greater on the inches.

I'm also down another clothing size. I just got myself into a size 12 - that I couldn't fit into the week prior. That's awesome. The odd/frustrating part, is for the first time in my 6+ months, I actually gained a pound this past week, and am only down like 2.5 pounds for the past 3 weeks. That just feels crazy. I did do a mid-month check on my inches lost, and there I see results. More reason to measure in more than one fashion! However, I would like to see that scale on the downturn again.

This last bit has been probably the more frustrating part - but I'm not letting it bother me. If I can keep going down in size, I don't care if I weigh 200 lbs or 130. Maybe I'll switch up my cardio routine a tad and push less resistance, higher speeds, to see if that makes an impact on the scale.

People reactions have been interesting too. I swear that some of my working relationships have improved. I don't feel it's because I'm bubblier and happier and that's resonating. Instead, I think deep down, we all know that looks do matter; and I'm simply being "noticed" more and in turn, approached more often and conversations are lasting a tad longer. I've been gradually gaining more opportunities in the past 6+ months, and in some arenas, feel like I'm being taken more seriously too. To be honest, I haven't kicked up my level of productivity and that's being noticed. If anything, I've backed down to focus on my workouts at lunchtime more, and have tried to maintain a healthier work-life balance. Some folks who would never give me the time of day in the past, are now saying hello and calling me over. That's a change for sure, and has been interesting to see that what was theory in my head before, is proving to be reality. Looks and size do matter in the business world.

New Clothes Are Baggy Too...

Aug 22, 2008

As I've been dropping weight, I've been getting new clothes that fit... knowing I have more to loose.. but before I know it, the new clothes are getting baggy already. Nice problem to have, huh? It can be expensive though, so I've been trying my best to not spend too much on newer stuff. At least, not until I'm pretty close to my target!

Otherwise, nothing new to report this week. I've been finding that I toggle a bit more.. up and down half a pound each day, then drop a full pound. Then again, up and down half a pound then drop a full pound. I've been keeping each day a bit varied to help my body from adjusting... and started hitting the weights this week so I can develop my upper body muscles more.

5.5 Months.. 65 lbs down!

Aug 14, 2008

Pretty cool how much I'm down now. I feel so much better about myself.. At least, in clothes I do! LOL! Underneath, I'm pretty squishy now... but I know some/most of this will firm up as long as I maintain my exercise.

It's also a little saddening to think about how much I've lost. It's not just all happiness for what I've lost.. but the realization of just how big I really was before. It's sobbering to think that I was actually "that" size before.

I find too, that in some random workouts, I loose all steam. I get a little shakey, light-headed... and after a good afternoon of eating heavy protein, some carbs and sugar - the feeling goes away.. and with some rest I'm fine and back to normal the next day. This seems to happen about once every 4-6 weeks.

OK, well, I'll be writing more next Thursday.

Half way point...

Aug 07, 2008

Wow, it's been busy... sorry for not blogging sooner. Between work and social stuff, it's simply crazy these days.

So, I'm officially at the half way point... I've lost 62.5 pounds, and have 62.5 more to go. I'm also under 200 - another cause for celebration! And, just for one more reason to celebrate - I dropped another pant size - down to 14's now... Whohoo!!

I'm still working out as much as time allows. Lunch time, the full hour is spent on the elliptical. I haven't been able to do the crazy calorie burning rate of 1,000+ again... I simply don't know how that happened, and even wondering if my heart rate monitor malfunctioned... but maybe I was just on some super adrenaline rush or something.... I'm burning more along the lines between 600-700 calories on my better days. I have worked my way up to jogging on the treadmill, which has felt awesome.

The evening workouts have been more difficult to get in these days. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe more visitors in the evenings, getting home a little late at times and my son's been a bit tired too. It may be various factors, making it more difficult to pinpoint and then fix so I can clear those evenings back up for more working out.

The other neato thing have been the compliments from both men and women. Yeah.. women too are commenting in a positive light. Coworkers who never really spoke much to me have been coming up to congratulate my hard work. It's been nice. Everyone's also seen me hitting the gym just about every day, which is not only gaining some credibility to my weight loss, but people are assuming that is the reason why I'm shedding the pounds. No one has questioned if I had some miracle surgery (just a tip to those out there who didn't want to share this with everyone at work).

I guess that's it for my updates... at least, for now.


Whohoo 200!

Jul 17, 2008

Wow, didn't expect to see another big loosing week ever again. That hasn't really happened since my first month or so. I've been trending anywhere between 0.5 to 2.5 lbs. a week on average. But this week - 5 whole pounds! I'm officially right on the 200 line. Just loose a teeny more and I fall into the 100's. Yippee. I haven't been there in about 7 years.

This past week was tough too. I had some really huge calorie-burning workouts late last week. My heart rate monitor clocked numbers like 1000-1100 range for a couple of days in a single hour. That was insane and not sure how that happened... but I felt good. Then Friday came, and I was feeling a little tired, and muscle fatigue was setting in, especially in my quads. Didn't over do things over the weekend, and come Monday, I was feeling dizzy here and there. I pumped up my calories/protein and drank more than usual. Took the day off to rest.. and then was feeling back to normal by Tuesday. So it was an odd week in that respect.

Speaking of exercise, I tried out the bike just to switch it up, but I was pedaling like mad and my heart rate wasn't going high enough for a good workout range. So then I hopped on the rowing machine, and total disappointment... I was hoping I could adjust the resistance and really get a good burn, but no. It sucked even more. I ended up back on an elliptical, and I just used a different one than usual. My gym has like 4 varieties, and each one hits your muscles a little differently. I salvaged a decent workout from there. I've also been noticing that I'm sweating a lot more. My clothes are definately sucking up more moisture by the end of my routine. Could account for the bigger numbers this past week too. Heart rate has actually been a little lower - as it's taking more work now to keep it up on the high end of my ideal range.

I'm down a full 3 dress sizes, and my size 16 pants are getting loose enough that I needed to start wearing a belt. Not down enough yet to drop to 14's, but I think I'll need to pick up some jeans soon in preparation. Whohoo!! That's a nice problem to have, I suppose.

I've been feeling a bit hungrier lately too. Definately craving more, especially on workout days. My calories have upped by about 1-200 a day more recently; bringing me closer to the 750-850 range. That too may have helped impact my numbers for this past week.


Not much to report for the past week....

Jul 12, 2008

Just chugging along. Working out, eating well... just honestly moving along and enjoying how I feel and look these days... while acknowledging I still have quite a ways to go!!!

I've switched up my elliptical a little, by pedaling backwards and jogging in place without holding onto the rails at all.... it's felt great, and increased my calroies burned and boy do I feel it in my legs, and arms too!


4 months!!

Jul 08, 2008

Phew - 4 months past. I can't believe it! I posted my latest photo with stats.. It was taken on the 3rd, although I'm just now blogging and posting the template. 

Over the holiday weekend, I went to LA for some fun and shopping... Amazingly, eating was incredibly hard. I simply couldn't. For whatever reason, anything I tried, after literally 3 bites, I felt like I was on week 4 and was gonna die from feeling so full. It continued the entire 3 day weekend, and I consumed by my estimates, about 200 calories less than usual... which means, I felt a bit tired more than usual too. Once I was back home, my appetite picked up and I'm feeling better on that front. Hmmmm... not sure what it was. In LA, I was eating the same usual stuff, but my body just wasn't havin' it.

What was nice, was all the walking, dancing and what not that we did, I never felt sore, out of breath or tired physically from moving about. That felt great. I admit I was a little sore after dancing a few hours... but afterwards... not during! I think it was my boots really.. my toes and backs of my thighs were hurting a bit.

Otherwise, a month of lots of inches lost, not as much pounds. I'm totally OK with this. Just a couple of days from my next official weigh-in, so we'll see where I stand then.

About Me
San Jose, CA
Location
27.8
BMI
VSG
Surgery
03/13/2008
Surgery Date
Nov 17, 2007
Member Since

Friends 21

Latest Blog 26
It's been forever.. I know.
7 months, and like a week and a half...
My 6th Month....
New Clothes Are Baggy Too...
5.5 Months.. 65 lbs down!
Half way point...
Whohoo 200!
Not much to report for the past week....
4 months!!

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