WannaBFit71
Monday-Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Jan 18, 2010
1/18/10
Hello...so far today is weird for me because I kind of totally slept in. I didn't eat a thing all day up until 3PM. (That's if you don't include what I ate and wrote about eating at about 3-4am)
I think it's working that I'm shrinking my stomach a little bit. I grabbed some leftovers from dinner last night. It consisted of approx 1-2c of mac n cheese and a piece of thick pork chop. I mean, not even a whole one...I put ketchup on them (yeah I'm that way) and sat down to eat. And I got full half way through! I stopped eating right there. Walked away from it. I'm not stuffed full, but where I know my stomach has enough. Just wanted to journal that.
Going to try to focus on water/liquids/and protein intake.
I'm preop, but I know grabbing any pasta like I did is a mega-no-nono.
I'll probably write more later.
4:30PM-eating (slowly) a chopped up hard boiled egg w/ a smidge of mayo & pepper.
Sipping Crystal Light...
For dinner I ate alright...first I measured my food...had only one cup of food on my plate. Half a cup of flavored rice, and half a cup of sesame chicken that you heat up in your own oven. Not great health benefits, but hey, I measured!
I can see I'm gonna have to struggle with not drinking with meals. I also need to keep a timer handy and make sure I dont drink half hour before or half hour after eating. That's a new thing to try. Another thing I have to work on, is not taking MORE after I've measured out a good portion and feel fine after eating it! Because that is exactly what I did!! So, for dinner I really ate more like two cups of food, not one.
Then later (I'm totally PMSing) I got all irritated and upset and went right for the kitchen...and I ate approx another cup of leftover dinner. Nice, yes, I know. I'm clearly very good at admitting I'm stupid and have major problems with emotional eating.
I also ate a few pieces of chocolate bar. Yeah..oh yeah. I did. (sigh) I guess I should be glad I only ate a piece and not a whole candy bar?
So...here is what I've learned so far, in the past three days:
I'm a food addict. I totally chow when I'm upset.
I have to work on not drinking with, before, and immediately after meals.
I have been away for 2 and a half years, not 3+ as I thought (I got out my old CC Workbook)
That I didn't step up to the plate when the hard work had to begin...when I saw the NUT and she gave me the weight I had to get down to before surgery (306) and needed to begin litearlly following her reccomendations on what to and not to eat and how to chew...I bailed :( I didn't even know I bailed, but I bailed.
It is my hopes that learning this about myself, acknowledging my problems, and facing them head on will help me achieve my goals this time...I surely hope this will be the case.
