wanta_newlife

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My problem began at a real early age. I always were larger than my friends. Being larger earned me some unwanted attention from some very sick people men and women. I was raped at the age of six by a family friend and molested by an uncle. I guess I became a toy for everyone soon after. I would pretend it was happening to someone else and soon food was my way of escape. My being big did not stop them and my weight was getting out of control by the time I was in the 5th grade I was over 100lbs. Nicely developed with bigger breast and hips than the average fifth grader.
Some one that will read this will ask why did you not tell anyone well I did tell my mom but out of ignorance she wiped me and told to go to  my room and stay until I was called out. I refused to tell her when it continued out of fear of getting in trouble for someone else actions. I always wanted to stay on my moms good side as she called it.
I learned how bad my weight problem was , when  I wanted to do a creative dance on a talent show with my friends at the age of eleven. I overheard the teachers that was sponsoring the talent show saying that i was too big and mature to be up on stage with a leotard on meaning my hips were spreading . I was sad about it, but danced with them in my seat in the audience. I secretly ate and cried about other peoples remarks about me. I started making jokes about myself to keep them from picking on me.  Sometimes it worked. Most of the times I had to fight to get my respect. Well, needless to say i went on a diet after that talent show 1977 was the year and I started by starving myself then it was diet pills. Sold in the stores, yes I was too young to purchase my aunt did it for me.
The next school term I was down to a  size eight and I was still picked on and called fat (people) I just dont understand. I guess I have been tring to please people all my life.  In 1981 I was about 140 and I guess it was still too big but I became pregnant that year and balloon up to a whopping 215 and after giving birth I was at 180 which was not that bad it was all in the right areas. I thought it was ok since I had no stomach. I  have been on this weight lose roller coaster ride every year since.  I have been on all  kind of diets some medically supervised and some not . Medifast, fastin, meridia, phen phen , slimfast, laxatives, waterpills, Richard Simmons. Not to mention all of the exercise tapes (VHS) CDS, DVDS,  and equipment that I have. My goodness I have a gym right at home. I have lost and gain more weight than I can calculate  right now. I know this is so unhealthy and I want to end this right now I have 2 daughters that I have to live for and I want to live the rest of my life healthy and happy. Minus the fear of yet another failure I have had too many of them in my life!!!
I think it was in late 1980s when i was feed up with a lot of unwanted attention from the men. I had an abusive jealous husband that would hit me if another man looked at me.  It was crazy but I called this weight on me not thinking that he had the problem not me. He could not stand for anyone to look at me. I got tired of the jealousy and went on a eating binge that landed me with all types of medical issues. Boy I tell you if I knew then what I know now I would not have done this to myself. Anyway I am on a mission that will get my health back on track and get me back. I am a skinny girl trapped in this big body. Hidding from the world is not an option anymore. I miss the old  small Q LOL.

I started this new WLS journey. September, 2007. I had been through all my cancer treatments, and I was determine to battle this weight issue. So I made up my mind that since I was off work any way I might as well get everything done before I go back to work. I had been talking with my PCP since May 11, 2007 about helping me get the surgery. He asked me to try his diet first i told him I would but I knew that diet dont work for me. I went along with it anyway just to please him, that way he will sway my way once he realize what I meant. I went to the seminar 9-29-07 sent in my package 10-2-07 along with a full body picture and a copy of my insurance card. The next week 10-9-07 I called the office and was told that the surgery was covered and that I will received a letter telling me what I need in order to get approved I receive the letter by 10-11-07. I had already set an appointment with my PCP for the 30th. I had been talking about WLS with him since I first hired him as my PCP and was ready to fire him if he did not do as I wished plain and simple. I was sick and tired of taking all the medicine and the shots that i had been taking  throughout the years. It seemed as if each year I was given a new med or two but each one had a side effect that I was not willing to live with.

 Prior to hiring this Doctor,  I had a doctor who I know just wanted the money he misdiagnosed me for the breast cancer and I had been talking to him for the seven years about helping me get approved for the surgery. Everytime he would give me diet pills or water pills and the diabetic diet of each level I have been on the 800-1200 calorie diet I would lose but if i binged or became stressed it was hell to get back on track or seem like I would end up with another health issue. 

On the 30th I went into my PCP with my paper work from the seminar determined for him to agree to help me get approved for the surgery. I talked with his nurse whom i had worked with at a previous job and knew she could talk with him about my plans prior to me talking to him. He came in saying that he would not agree to me having the surgery too many risks he said . Well i was ready with my game plan i told him of how I did not want to die form obesity related illness nor did I want to live with diabetes anymore. I told him that i had been researching the Surgeon that I planned to use to do my surgery and had heard nothing but good raves about him. I let him know that it was not for vanity but for my health. I let him know that it was medically necessary for me to have WLS with a BMI of 55. I refuse to go blind, or be on dialyisis for the rest of my life. He agreed to help after I  keep good records of my sugar levels. I then gave him a copy of everything I will need in order to get the WLS approved.  He immediatly setup the lab work then I had to see him again in two weeks with my records. Each time I went in he set up another phase of my approval. I am so happy finally someone listened to my plight. I am forever grateful for Dr. Cameron Nixion apart of Affinity Health Group of Tifton GA, for helping me get approved and being real with me about his concerns for my health after the WLS.

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