Washu
Due July 13 - 2014
Nov 26, 2013
I have slept for a few hours and am wide awake again. I cannot use my APAP machine right now and need to pick up some Benedryl and try again tomorrow night. It's wearing me down. I feel agitated and I am making poor food choices.
All I wish for is some sleep. Some very restful sleep. I am not doing so great being unable to manage my pain without anything but Tylenol but I guess I can say I am managing. Not very well though at night it seems.
I am anxious to hear about all of my blood work from the OB's office. I am anxious to go on the 9th to see my doctor as I'm told he will likely confirm the pregnancy with an early ultrasound. I am anxious because I'm much older than I thought I would be having more children. I spent 7 years home with our kids not working managing our lives on my husband's income. I finally this year after surgery and a loss of 110 pounds (now 120) went back to work and am fit enough to keep my body working a 10 hour day. Finally earning some money and can finally pay for my daughter's braces and send us on a few vacations in the next year. Plus baby.
It's just a little frustrating that I spent so much time where I would have been able to raise a baby all the way through school age before having to separate. Now - I will have our baby and return to work in 12 weeks. Just frustrated with the separating so early part. My first daughter was only 3 weeks old when I returned to work. It effected me with depression and anxiety. My exhusband chose to quit his job at that time and it left me with no choice but to return to work. We had to pay our rent. I have plenty of time to work all of this out - but I know already some changes may need to be made to my work schedule. It's just life.
I will get over this and be stronger. I am so grateful for our little one. I am excited for him or her. I just worry about everything and it's wearing me down.
