2nd Trimester

Jan 05, 2014

First off - our twins have names. Fiona Mae & Luna Belle - naming them makes everything feel so much more real. We are excited to meet them in June. 

Still at 155. I have switched to full fat greek yogurt and cheeses and eat all the time ... it is uncomfortable. 

Upside is - I actually want to go to the gym today. 

I'm reflecting on the aspect of our journey that concerns relationships with family and friends. These relationships keep changing for me - but one that has remained steadfast is my relationship with my husband. There have been a few  bumps but we've worked through them. I realize life isn't only about me and I have to actively show that I realize that so that he can feel appreciated and care for as well. 

With other family members it hasn't been so easy. One in particular is my sister. I have had a few issues this year and unfortunately some of them affected her in that I canceled on her a couple times for babysitting her twins. She was angry and more angry that I wouldn't explain myself. I couldn't explain myself because I did not want to share why I just was in no place to go and watch her children when it happened. It's not her business and I will remain resolved to that fact. My issues are my own and her choices on how she handled me during that time are her own. I'm done with it and the drama and am moving on in 2014 without that trouble. I am choosing to relieve my heart of that worry. They do not understand and will never understand even if I spelled it out for them in black and white. I won't bother. 

So moving on and feeling relief. The thing I've realized is that I am a stronger person. I may have been strong before but this transformation and subsequent twin pregnancy have awakened something powerful in me and I recognize that it needs to remain in check but I also realize that I am going to embrace it with all of my heart and continue to soar with success. I want more in my life and I want to learn more and I will. There is no stopping now and things like the issues with familial relationships are distractions. I love my family - I just don't always love the dynamics within our family. 

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