Surgery in 2 days

Nov 28, 2009

 I am SO nervous about my DS in 2 days, Dec. 1. I don't know why either. I've had WLS before and don't remember being half this nervous for that. Perhaps because it wasn't quite as involved as this? Not sure but I've actually felt sick to my stomach a few times already from the worrying that something will go wrong. My husband has been pretty silent throughout my planning phase and just actually started to voice his opinion about it this weekend and basically told me it wasn't worth it and why would I want to put myself through this and that he isn't comfortable with the idea of it not being reversible. I am not even hearing what he's saying because it pissed me off that I've tried to get his feelings all along and he has basically just nodded and now that I'm 2 days away he wants to start back peddling. All well, I wish he were more supportive but I'm doing what's right for me with or without his support. I would just feel better if I had it. I'm nervous and scared as it is and now I have to worry about this from him? I find myself worrying about the dumbest things like if I died he wouldn't know how to pay the bills or figure out our insurance policies to get that all straightened to help with my funeral bills, etc. Why the hell am I thinking like this? It's freaking me out. I also worry that me worrying will make me more apt to have problems during surgery like it's not healthy for my heart or something and so I'm trying to calm myself. It's just all very strange for me since I was not this nervous before and now I"m a wreck and I really don't have anyone to share it with since my hubby would just tell me not to go through with it. He really doesn't understand. He thinks it's all about looks and so he doesn't get it. He's overweight but doesn't seem to care. It's not a serious issue with him yet but he is overweight. Apparently most guys don't get worked up about weight like women, I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm 2 days til d-day and trying to keep it together. I will update once I'm home. because I'll make it home, right?!  

Hope T-day was great for everyone.

Mandy

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