WeeSteppn
1 Day Down
Dec 24, 2009
Well I did it! I am 3 weeks out so I knew I couldn't eat many of the foods I normally would and I somehow managed to get through Christmas (we do it on Christmas Eve) without eating 1 single thing I shouldn't have. I totally avoided the appetizer table with all the cheesy dips, cookies, etc. That was always my favorite part and it killed me so I totally avoided it so I wouldn't just mindlessly pick something up and jack myself up for the day.At dinner, I had green been casserole, grilled chicken and some pork roast. I just kinda picked at it since I could'nt fit it all in. The hardest part was throwing my plate away with food on it since the rest of the family doesn't know about my surgery they'd have surely noticed I didn't eat much and throw a hissy. So I slickly put my napkin on it and folded the plate in 1/2 and threw it away while everyone was yacking.
Then at dessert I was nearly out of will power but did manage. My sister in law made a chocolate cheesecake especially for me. Everyone in the family knows I am the sugar hound and generally I'd eat a few pieces of whatever there was and also some cookies. I'd pretty much eat non stop so this was tricky to get around why I wasn't eating any.....let alone a little.....but none at all. It killed me to pass up that cheesecake....Uggg....then I got depressed b/c I thought I'll never be able to eat this stuff again even when I heal because it'll prolly give me gas and bloat me and who knows what else. I must be honest when I say that thought depresses me and I've asked myself what I've done more than once.
Anyway, point is I made it through the day without incident and today we'll go to my side of the family and I"ll have to go through it all again. My mom has already called and told me she's made me chocolate chip cookies from scratch so now I gotta figure out how to decline with respect when she made them especially for me. It's hard being the sugar whore of the family because people have certain expectations of you. Then tomorrow I'll be able to chill at home and eat without scrutiny and then on Sunday back to the in laws for another food gathering. There's going to be meatballs, wings, cheesy potatoes, dips, desserts again, etc. So again, I'll have to figure out how to wiggle out of this and behave myself without drawing too much attention to myself.
I do have to ask myself how many holidays I can do this. Maybe I can just say I"m trying to be healthier and not eat sugar and white flour then it's not a lie but then they'll start the "just have a little then". Uggg.....why do we have to explain why and what we eat?
Happy Holidays to you all. Hope it's a good one.
Mandy
