watasha G.

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Today is February 1, 2013.  August 12th of this year will mark 5 years since my weight loss surgery.  Five years...YIKES!...Did all my problems go away after surgery? NOPE!...Did all of my issues with food and weight go away?...NOPE..I still struggle everyday with food issues, thinking about weigh gain, loss, gain,taking vitamins, mal-absorbtion, exercise, and lack of doing it at all.

I say that to say, that everyday is a brand new day.  I can not go back and make a new beginning, but I can make a brand new ending!  DREAMS HAVE NO DEADLINES..  It feels so good to get on here and see old friends, and find my center again.  Thinking about all that I went through with WLS, makes me appreciate life a little more...I want to live it better.  It is so hard, but I can have what I want, if I want it.....I WANT IT.   I Want it.....Help me Lord!

Two years after surgery, it still consumes me on a daily basis...food, exercise,sweets, clothing sizes, my mind, overeating.....all of it!!!!  This is a forever battle.......I can not forget the me I was or the me I have become....I will be back!

DANG ITS BEEN A MINUTE!  I AM STILL FIGHTING THIS WEIGHT LOSS BATTLE. SOME DAYS I WIN, SOME DAYS I LOSE..I AM GOING 2 KEEP AT IT!

BEEN HITTIN THE GYM HARD MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY.. I HAVE BEEN RUNNING THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE FOR 65 MINUTES +  AT LEVEL 10 OR HIGHER WITH A RESISTANCE LEVEL OF 8 AND UP. THEN RUNNING THE TRACK.   WORKING UP A SWEAT!
HITTING THE WEIGHTS REGULAR BENCH PRESSES, BACK PRESSES, LEG PRESSES..FEELING LIKE A BEAST IN THERE`!  A GENTLEMAN ASKED YESTERDAY WAS I TRAINING FOR A MARATHON OR A TRIATHALON!! I TOLD HIM NEITHER~ HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL GOAL I AM TRAINING FOR~ KINDA MADE ME FEEL GOOD TO KNOW FOLKS SEE THE RESULTS OF MY HARD WORK.... WOULDNT BEEN ABLE TO WORK OUT LIKE THIS LAST YEAR THIS TIME~~ 

LOOKING AT MY BODY AND SEEING IT CHANGE HAS FORCED ME TO REALIZE THAT, MY BUILD IS MORE OF A MUSCULAR BUILD AND  I WILL NOT HAVE THAT SKINNY LANKY BODY I ENVISION..BUT IT WILL BE THAT OF A HARD TIGHT ATHLETIC YET FEMININE BUILD~~~ AND IF I NEVER GET PAST A SIZE 10 I AM COOL WITH THAT...HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL!

WOW..IS ALL I CAN REALLY SAY.
WOW TO THE ROLLER COASTER I HAVE BEEN ON..
WOW TO THE FACT THAT I FINALLY HAD WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY..
WOW THAT MY HUSBAND & FAMILY SUPPORTED ME
WOW TO ALL THEHOOPS I HAD TO JUMP THROUGH FOR MY WLS APPROVAL
WOW THAT I WAS DEEMED MORBIDLY OBESE
WOW WHEN I GOT THE APPROVAL
WOW TO ALL THE PRE-OP TESTING
WOW TO ACTUALLY LYING ON THE SURGERY TABLE
WOW TO THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST WHO COULDNT GET THE IV IN MY SMALL VEINS
WOW TO WAKING UP AFTER SURGERY..THANK U GOD!
WOW TO THE PAIN
WOW..THEY MADE ME GET UP AND WALK CONSTANTLY
WOW I REALLY HAD A GASTRIC BYPASS
WOW 2 OZ OF FOOD IS ALL I NEED......

WOW I WAS ONLY A FEW POUNDS SHY OF 300...
WOW THE WEIGHT IS COMING OFF QUICKLY...
WOW I HAVE  HAD NO COMPLICATIONS
WOW I WORK OUT DAILY MY STAMINA IS OUT THE ROOF
WOW I HAVE LOST MORE THAN   110 LBS
WOW NO MORE SIZE24/26....
WOW I AM HALF THE SIZE I WAS LAST YEAR
WOW MY CONFIDENCE HAS SOARED HIGHER  THEN BEFORE
WOW FOR THE MOST PART I LIKE WHAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR
WOW I LOVE THE PERSON IN THE MIRROR
WOW GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME
WOW WHAT A DIFFERENCE 365 DAYS HAS MADE.

FEELING OK TODAY~~~ SITTIN HERE ON THE PUTER' AND MY MIND IS SAYING  DO THAT ADVANCED WORKOUT
TAE BO TAPE, SINCE U AINT GO TO THE  GYM TODAY.....I GET TICKLED AT MYSELF BECAUSE I FEEL BAD WHEN I MISS MY WORKOUTS...AND BELIEVE ME, I DONT MISS THEM OFTEN....SO PARDON ME FOR ABOUT 45 MINUTES WHILE I GO ROCK OUT TO THIS WORKOUT VIDEO...SEE- I BEEN TRYING TO GIVE MY BODY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY OFF FROM EXCERSISE, AND I CANT FREAKIN DO IT!!!!!  I AM ADDICTED TO IT!~ TRANSFER OF ADDICTIONS~ AT ITS BEST....I ATE OFF MY PLAN, SO NOW I 'VE POPPED DULCOLAX TO RID MYSELF OF IT.....I NEED TO GET TO MY 160 MARK BY SEPTEMBER1,2009....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...OK, PEEP THIS I WILL GET BACK LATER AND FINISH THIS THOUGHT... BUT I WILL SAY...
I WEIGH LESS THEN MY HUSBAND(THE HEALTH NUT THAT HE IS) AND THAT FEELS GOOD AS A WOMAN..TO BE SEEN AS THE "WEAKER" VESSEL...IN GODS EYES AND IN THE NATURAL....I KNOW SHOKA (HUSB.) LOVES THE SMALLER ME!!....I'M STILL FIGHTING THE BIG GIRL WAR...AND SO FAR I'M UP!!!!  TIME TO KICK IT WITH BILLY BLANKS~~~~~~~~~~
HOLLA AT ME!!!

I AM NOW 11 MONTHS OUT(WOW)!!!   SO I POSTED AN 11 MONTH OUT ALBUM/PICS....
I AINT WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT I THANK GOD I AINT WHERE I WAS!!!!! 

THIS JOURNEY IS HAPPY, SAD, FUN, ROUGH, BUT - I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE  THIS EXPERIENCE.... AND YOU ALL MAKE IT ALL THE BETTER...I LOOK AT SOME BEFORE PICS, AND THEN I LOOK AT THE ONES I TOOK YESTERDAY~ AND I SEE A DIFFERENCE....I DONT SEE IT LIKE OTHERS TELL ME THEY SEE IT ON ME-BUT I AM DOING BETTER....
SEEING MY PICS MAKES ME WANT TO KICK MY WORKOUTS UP A NOTCH AND KEEP MY EATING ON POINT....

THE PAST TWO DAYS I HAVE SUCKED WITH TAKING MY VITAMINS AND GETTING IN MY FLUIDS....BEST GET BUSY.....
ALRIGHT IT IS TUESDAY MORNING BOUT 8:45AM.....PREPARING MYSELF TO GET READY TO HIT THE GYM.....
                     ~~GOD GIVE YOU STRENGTH FOR YOUR JOURNEY~~~

OKAY SO THIS DAILY REPORTING THING IS TOO HARD ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE A WIFE, A MOTHER TO A 5 AND 2 YEAR OLDS, OUTREACH PROGRAM MANAGER, AND DOING MINISTRY...NOT TO MENTION 10AM-1230PM DAILY WORKOUTS AT THE GYM,PLUS TRYING TO GET ALL MY MEDS AND FLUIDS IN (NOT SO GOOD AT THAT)..THEN TO TRY TO GET UP ON THE COMPUTER TO BLOG IS HARD......SO I WILL JUST DO IT TWICE A WEEK, ONCE AT MINIMUM....DONT KNOW IF ANY ARE READING IT ANYWAY...BUT FOR YOU THAT ARE THINKING OF WEIGHTLOSS SURGERY...PERHAPS IT HELPS YOU....

SO FOURTH OF JULY HITS AND WE ARE IN DAYTON, OHIO...I HAD MY GAME PLAN ALL MAPPED OUT IN MY HEAD..HAD MY NECTARINES AND PLUMS READY FOR THE WEAK MOMENTS....
THEY NEVER CAME OUT THE BAG!.... I ATE SPOONFULS OF MAC N CHEESE,PORTIONS OF LEMON CAKEAND THE REST WAS PROTEIN..UNTIL WE HIT THE GAS STATION LATER THAT NIGHT AND I HAD A PEANUT BUTTER MILK SHAKE--I ADMIT---WHY DONT I DUMP????? I SO NEEDED THAT TO BE A PART OF MY SIDE EFFECTS SO I T WOULD KEEP ME STRAIGHT!!!!-OBVIOUSLY GOD WANTED ME TO LEARN HOW TO BE TEMPERATE WITHOUT ME PUKING/HITTING THE TOILET...DANG IT!!!! FOR YOU PRE OPS...SUGAR WILL NOT MAKE EVERY ONE DUMP---I AM PROOF...

SO AFTER THAT HOLIDAY, I WAS LIKE WELL I MIGHT AS WELL END THE WEEKEND RIGHT AND GET BACK ON MY GAME ON MONDAY---THAT ALL OR NOTHING ATTITUDE OF MINE...SO I ATE POTATO CHIP COOKIES..DEE-LISH!!!! AND AFTER ALL THAT I DIDNT GAIN NOT ONE OUNCE...LUCKY ME!!!

I AM BEING BRUTALLY HONEST HERE...YES I HAD RNY, YES I WANT TO BE AT THE HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR ME...YES I GOT 30 POUNDS TO GO...NO I DONT DUMP, NO I DONT MAKE THE BEST FOOD CHOICES EVERY SINGLE TIME, AND YEAH- I USE DULCOLAX TO RID MY POUCH AND BODY OF THE FOODS I CONSUME:I HATE MY BODY FEELING FULL, I FEEL GOOD WHEN IT IS COMPLETELY CLEANED OUT-NO THAT MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST SOLUTION, DON EAT IT WOULD BE THE OPTIMAL CHOICE-IT TOOK ME 35 YEARS TO MASTER MY BAD RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD....IT IS GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN 11MONTHS FOR ME TO CHANGE ALL THE BAD HABITS....I AINT TRYING TO JUSTIFY...JUSS BEING ME....REGARDLESS OF YOUR DIAGNOSIS! LOL!

HEY! I WORKOUT HARD FIVE TIMES A WEEK, I HAVE LOST OVER 100 POUNDS, WENT FROM A SIZE 26 TO A 12/14 AND STILL SHEDDING OFF THE REMAINING WEIGHT...SO JUST BACK OFF!!!  MONDAY- I JUMPED RIGHT BACK IN SWINGING..SEE , DONT FALL DOWN AND STAY DOWN.GET UP!!!!.EVEN LOST A POUND FROM THEN TO TODAY!!! DONT GET IT TWISTED TASHA IS GOING TO DO THE D.A.N.G. THANG! HOLLA AT YA GURL..... NOW TELL ME WHUT U THINK???

BIG UP MAXINE....TO BAD THERE ARE HATERS HERE AND U CANT STAY PUBLIC~~~KEEP DOIN YOU BOO!

WOW..IT HAS BEEN A WHIRLWIND!!! STILL HERE , THANK YOU GOD~~~ HITTING THE GYM 5 DAYS A WEEK, HARD!!! CARDIO  AT LEAST 60M INUTES, WEIGHTS 30, WALK/RUN 15 MIN...MONDAY THRU FRIDAY...TAKE THE OCCASSIONAL ZUMBA/OR CYCLING CLASS TO MIX THINGS UP...DRIPPING SWEAT, WITH MY MP3 PLAYER JAMMING ME THROUGH....FOLKS AT THE GYM SEE MY WORKOUT COMMITMENT AND ASK HOW DO I HAVE THE STAMINA TO DO THE ELIPTICAL MACHINES FOR SUCH EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME, AND AT SUCH HIGH INTENSITY...I TELL THEM THAT IF I AM GOING TO COME DOWN HERE EVERYDAY , I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE IT WORTH WHILE..THEY SEE MY BODY CHANGING AND MAKE COMMENTS....I STILL SEE THAT OBESE/FAT/OUT OF CONTROL TASHA..I TELL PEOPLE OFTEN THAT I DO NOT LOVE TO WORK OUT, BUT I MIGHT AS WELL LEARN TO LIKE IT BECAUSE, I GOT TO DO IT!```HECK I FEEL BAD WHEN I MISS A SESSION... BUT THAT IS JUST IT- I HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING DEDICATED TO ANY WORKOUT REGIMEN-ITS FOOD I CANT BREAK UP WITH!!!!

WHY, DO I LOVE JUNK FOOD.....CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUTS, FUDGE POPS, ICE CREAM.....

I WANT TO BE FIT FOR GOD!!!!!!  PLEASE STICK TO THE PLAN...TASHA!

OKAY, I GOT UP IN THE ZONE, WORKED OUT IN THE ZONE, RECEIVED THE "DO IT TO IT" DIET FROM MAXINE...FEELING GOOD, EATING FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH WAS ON...PUSHING PROTEIN~~ LOSTS OF STRING CHEESE,EGG WHITES...THINKING ON GOD AND MY LIFE, FAMILY....THEN I GET WORD THAT MY G. MOTHER PASSED AWAY..I LOVE U MATTIE SAVANNAH MOORE..NO MORE PAIN IN YOUR BODY-BUT I HAVE IT IN MY ACHING HEART--UNFORGETTABLE!!
HOW DID I COPE WITH MY MOURNING?
I REVERTED BACK TO THE FAT TASHA STRESS RELIEVER....
I ATE NIPS COFFEE CANDY, I ATE  NATURE VALLEY HONEY N' OAT CRUNCHY GRANOLA BAR, THAT I SMEARED PEANUT BUTTER ON, I DRANK GRAPE SODA, AND A LEAN BEEF PATTY SMOTHERED WITH CHEESE!!! NOT ALL AT THE SAME TIME~ BUT I DID IT!!!

I NEED A BETTER WAY TO COPE WITH MY FEELINGS!!! 
I EAT THEN TAKE DULCOLAX TO PURGE...I DONT WANT THAT FOOD IN MY BODY,BUT I CANT MAKE MYSELF THROW UP....FOOD FEELS SO GOOD CHEWING AND TASTING-THEN I WANT IT OUT...MY HUSBAND SAYS I HAVE BECAME ADDICTED TO THE LAXATIVE........HE MIGHT ALMOST B RIGHT....