DAY 2 OF 30

Jun 26, 2009

OKAY, I GOT UP IN THE ZONE, WORKED OUT IN THE ZONE, RECEIVED THE "DO IT TO IT" DIET FROM MAXINE...FEELING GOOD, EATING FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH WAS ON...PUSHING PROTEIN~~ LOSTS OF STRING CHEESE,EGG WHITES...THINKING ON GOD AND MY LIFE, FAMILY....THEN I GET WORD THAT MY G. MOTHER PASSED AWAY..I LOVE U MATTIE SAVANNAH MOORE..NO MORE PAIN IN YOUR BODY-BUT I HAVE IT IN MY ACHING HEART--UNFORGETTABLE!!
HOW DID I COPE WITH MY MOURNING?
I REVERTED BACK TO THE FAT TASHA STRESS RELIEVER....
I ATE NIPS COFFEE CANDY, I ATE  NATURE VALLEY HONEY N' OAT CRUNCHY GRANOLA BAR, THAT I SMEARED PEANUT BUTTER ON, I DRANK GRAPE SODA, AND A LEAN BEEF PATTY SMOTHERED WITH CHEESE!!! NOT ALL AT THE SAME TIME~ BUT I DID IT!!!

I NEED A BETTER WAY TO COPE WITH MY FEELINGS!!! 
I EAT THEN TAKE DULCOLAX TO PURGE...I DONT WANT THAT FOOD IN MY BODY,BUT I CANT MAKE MYSELF THROW UP....FOOD FEELS SO GOOD CHEWING AND TASTING-THEN I WANT IT OUT...MY HUSBAND SAYS I HAVE BECAME ADDICTED TO THE LAXATIVE........HE MIGHT ALMOST B RIGHT....

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