Sep 04, 2008

once again it's been awhile

anywho the big thing is I got my mother to move out
of my house so my life isn't on hold any longer
and with that I started school again.
I'm getting out of the house more
and am just all around a lot more happy

big thanks to all the ppl who supported me through the hell
I went through for 15 months with mother
i learned it was time to walk away
and that she wasn't going to help herself
so i couldn't possiable help her or save her
letting go of that idea was harder then I thought

and to al the ppl on OH who are mean,
please remember u suck if u have nothing nice to say, ot anything that is ment to be truly helpful then
please say nothing at all

almost a year so much for timely updates

Jun 06, 2008

where to start ????
I've lost 100lbs from my highest weight
yay I think having carpal tunnel surgery right after WLS
slowed me down as it took months for me to get in any upper body, and then I have numbness and was over medicated
for months so I had no desire to work out
but things have gotten better I took myself all meds
for numbness do to weight gain being a side effect
and changed the bipolar meds as they can make your body think your about 40 nothing that's there's wrong with 40
but I'm in my late 20's

just made a settlement with the car company
and I must say insurance is a joke they take your money
that's it I paid in more then I got
it's sad that your only going to get a good amount if your
hurt badly or your hit by someone with lots of insurance
I think I'm more mad cuz the old man who totaled my car was under insured it didn't even cover my medical 26,000
then my company for under insured thought my pain and suffering was worth nothing we had to fight them for almost two yrs, they went through my medical records, they blamed my carpal tunnel on being dibetic or family related???
are they kidding me??
then cuz I have a myspace I most type huge long blogs
and that's why I have carpal tunnel
such crap, it's set to private so how they can do anything but guess is just rude. I keep tabs on friends more then anything
I haven't updated OH in almost a yr and I'm on here almost everyday.
my mother is still here...she's not winning mother of the year
that's for damn sure...she's a 50yr old child and I've come to learn that I can't make her grow up I've been waiting my whole life and it's just not going to happen.
she really into smoking and if she can scrap together more then 5 bucks she's off to get smokes, it's selfish as I'm trying to take care of everything on less then 750.00 a month
I give up pretty much everything and worry all the time that
if one things goes wrong what am I going to do???

my family doesn't step up at all they don't care about me or my mother that is for sure, well my aunt just started showing up
wouldn't you know she needs a babysitter for the summer
ahh... she needs something ...I'm in shock
I think my sir name is german for F*cked heart

I've got to get back to working on going back to school
but with money being so tight I just don't see that happening
anytime soon

I'm overly stressed

it is what it is

hello again

Jun 19, 2007

well I know I say i'd stop by every month but sometimes we just forget. 

 things are going well for the most part my mother moved in with me, so that's been tough. sharing a one bedroom with your mother and her 5 cats well two of them are mine. lol 

the car crash was almost settled until last week when I saw my doctor who said was there anytime trama in your past? all I could think of the car crash and she was like you didn't settle yet did you? you should inclued this call your lawer. my lawer didn't seem to happy cuz now we have to prove this is due to the car crash and while my doctor was the one who told me to call my lawer this totally slows things up. 

weight loss was a tough road i was placed on new medications for my right side numbness and weight gain and wanting sweets is a side effect. I've had to really kick it into high drive to lose weight.  however my goal is under 200 by the 4th. 

wish me luck.

rootless tree

Mar 28, 2007

okay so I told myself I'd stop by once a month no matter what and update this blog. 
so here's my date:
in a month my mom will be moving into my apartment with her 3 cats, two fish and a hamster. while I am not the happiest about this given that my mother can be a handful and then some that leaves me to feel like a motherless child or a rootless tree. 

weight has been hanging out at 220 for a few weeks that damn scale, i tell you is killer it did move today to 215 ... so yay

yoga and smoking

Feb 16, 2007

you would think they would cancel each other out .

all is odd and unwell for the most part. 


hey there

Jan 30, 2007

haven't stopped by in a bit so I thought I'd update. 

1st carpal tunnel sucks... I didn't know my hands would be so weak after. I took it harder then my RNY. My tummy wasn't pissed till the 2nd time in the O.R. for my wrists. i think all these pain killers over the last few weeks has taken a toll on the tummy.  working out is almost out of the question do to the amount of sleep i need being on all my pain pills and a lot of the things I want to do like yoga ect... you use your hands ugh....

2nd speaking of tummy issues I'm now in stage 3 and i thought well that will be fun....not so much... between pills and food I've never seem able to keep things down. My tummy at times fills like broken glass.  oddly enough I can keep down bad things better then good things.  I tried fish lost it, corn chips I can keep. this is so not fair.  I think with all the purging that my body is fighting any real weight loss as i'm stuck at 235 the past few weeks. It's upsetting and I hate it.   

personal note my mother is about to become a rebound parent. she lost her job after 20 yrs do to disablity and now i have to help her pay the bills ect... only thing is I can hardly get by myself. so this is putting a whole new toll on both of us she doesn't want to move into my apartment tiny one bedroom apartment, i'm not crazy about having her here but see it as a fact of life. so it's not a good time right now. 

other then that it's the same as it ever was

hugging a steering wheel

Jan 01, 2007

 a few months back I was driving to walmart to buy a fish net cuz i over feed my fish, I was only six blocks from my house when a old man crashed his 1986 big steel car into my 1999 chevy. All I had time to do was scream and grab the wheel really tight. 
the crash happend the noise of steel meeting plastic and the air bag fumes are burned into my memory. everyone was pretty much okay the old man had a neck injury from before so off to the hospital he went. I was very freaked out but felt okay till later when my back and neck said no your not okay. so off to the er and some wonderful pain meds later I went home. 
then my wrists started in.... numbness and sharp pain..  I got carpal tunnle from hugging my steering wheel. so now I have to go in for surgery on the 3rd and the 24th I've never been in the OR other then for my RNY and that was last month on the 11th so I'm like WTF are the odds of that.  Its funny cuz I tell someone and they think my new tummy blew out or something.  it didn't the tummy is fine. 

so it's a firday

Dec 22, 2006

I wanna go out dancing ... I'm not 100% sure my tummy is with me on that idea. So I guess I'll stay home tonight. 

things have been going pretty well, I have over filled myself and felt the new found pain of over eatting.

 I have learned i will respect my pouch. 

my blood sugar have been playing with me going from 225 after eating to as low as 54 after medication. With it being the holidays I have to babysit myself as no one is in the office. 

ahhh.. such is life  

one week

Dec 17, 2006

so all is well after a week... 

here's the rewind.......

last monday i had the RNY, I was so oddly ready no jitters at all. I got to the hospital cheaked in went to my room, changed and hung out, got weighted one last time 265. Chilled out some more started watching movies on my personal DVD player and soon it was time. 

down to holding were they keep asking you if your warm enough and they start your IV and you meet the person who will put you to sleep for a bit. I gave him a handful of issues as I have a freakishly small jaw (now you would think this wouldn't be something an over weight person would have a issue with but there it is) he felt my air way and was like oh dear .

 i had to breath in this horriable stuff. it numbed everything but sucked really bad. Then it was off to the O.R. how many ppl do they need in there?? It felt like there was like 5 or 10 ppl. 
They only made me out of it so they could get the breathing tube down, not totally out till the tube was in place.  I had to pant like a dog and totally forgot how you can laugh it is kinda funny to have a room full of ppl pant so you remember what noise to me make.  Then I was out. 

the next thing i remember was waking up in my room crying and my nurse rushing to hook up my pain pump. then all I wanted was ice, chap stick and a cool wash cloth 4 my eyes... this is were my mother came in most handy. 

after my mother went home it was me and the night nurse who was okay for the most part, she wanted me to get up and walk around and i thought she was totally nuts... but I did it..went back to bed and was fine minus her need to take my ice away. i had this huge cup my mom got me and then i got this joke of a cup that ran out before her shift ended and I was crying my mouth was so dry. It was really upsetting. 

I saw my doctor two times a day and he was really nice, I means he's always nice enough but this time he made me feel human and not this bipolar freak he doesn't wanna deal with so I really liked that. 

2nd day was clear stuff, jello and broth. I'm not a jello fan there may always be room for jello just not for me lol ...i got my pain pump out and got the use of the bathroom so that was good. I walked around a bit more.  my friend came to see me and we laughted at the range or ppl who show up in your room like the student nurse's teacher. who I looked at at the time full of pain like damn you can't help me, go away was all I was thinking to the interns who show up at 6 am to see your tummy and ask if you have any questions. 

3rd day i got to go home after lunch... i watched kevin smith movies and chilled out as the RN sue from down stairs came up.... Sue is a sweet pea she really found her job in life... she's great. 

I've been sleeping alot and just kinda hanging out.
trying to get my protain shakes and water in
cottage cheese is big with a bit of french dressing
low sugar oatmeal works well too. 
eggs not so much. 

so todays the day

Dec 10, 2006

it feels really odd to be here thinking today is the day that will change the rest of my life. 
I'm not full of jitters I'm just ready to do this. 
my friend Yo gave me one last hard time about choosing this path, and i felt that no matter what she had to say it didn't matter cuz I know what I'm doing is best for me. 
see you all on the other side

About Me
Surgery Date
Nov 16, 2006
Member Since

Friends 51

Latest Blog 11
almost a year so much for timely updates
hello again
rootless tree
yoga and smoking
hey there
hugging a steering wheel
so it's a firday
one week
so todays the day