Lisa J.
174 and it's my own fault.
May 25, 2010
Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted since February! Time flies huh?
Well, here I am only 2 lbs down from that Feb posting. It is absolutely my own fault. I let tasty carbs back into my life. Not a lot and not all the time, but I did it and that has caused me to maintain within a 5 lb range all this time. I never got higher than 179 and never lower than 174. Well, on the one hand it's nice to know that with being "normal" with my eating, I can maintain it. It's also amazing that for the FIRST time in my life I can tell and am completely aware of a 5 lb gain!
I used to roll my eyes at the little thin friends of mine who at a whopping 110 would of course exclaim "oh MAN I have to lose 5lbs" or 10 lbs....But never knowing it physically was entirely a new subject.
I was never one of those women who gained water weight during my Aunt Flo time, and could never tell the difference in my clothes. And I wasn't huge back then, around 140lbs. But I was heavier than my classmates, and some by a long shot. Looking back I certainly wasn't fat. I never was made to feel 'fat' by my peers but I knew I was heavier. Like, duh, right? I wasn't even a fat child! Slightly chubby in a few spurts.
Then when I left home and went to work with racehorses I lost about 25 lbs real fast and started being noticed a hell of a lot differently than before. But actually, perhaps it was also because I was also a couple years older and not all my friends were my age, most of them older.
Anyway, I digress. My weakness is pasta and although I've managed somehow to stay away from bread in a year, I cannot stay completely away from crackers! I know, same difference, although with crackers they are more of a slider than bread, obviously, due to the density. And then I justify it by eating it with cheese, so I'm getting my real protein in. And granted with the VSG, you can eat these things, but thankfully not very many of them.
And truly, I AM NOT HUNGRY. EVER. It is all in my head. Always. And when I'm bored I do eat, I do know that about myself. So consequently on the weekends I don't eat very much, which is also not good but that's when I notice the lower fluctuation. I am a receptionist so I talk on the phone a lot, and 99% of the time have hard candies on hand to keep up with the dry mouth. I do drink a TON of water (or crystal lite) so getting the fluids have never been an issue. I haven't resorted to potatoes and dang if the white corn isn't looking might tasty at the market these days.....but I do treat myself to a NSA Klondike bar several nights a week and a bite of pasta here and there. I can't quote the calories and the carbs right now but they are VERY satisfying and not over the top.
I also started drinking about once a week with friends, and my latest beverage of choice is White Russians. I use 2% milk so at least I'm getting protein and not just straight alcohol/sugar. Yes, I'm sure it could be worse, but that's what I want right now! Wine doesn't taste good anymore and obviously beer is out. So instead of just going with the straight full on sugary fruity drinks. Justifying right? Yep.
So the bottom line is this: GET BACK ON THE WAGON!
I did, just started on Saturday. I'm down 2 lbs so we'll see if it continues. I'm back to basics this week and we'll see if I can push this stall on out of my way. I really would like to get down to 160 (which would be a 100 lb loss) to re-evaluate to see if I want to/can get down to 135. And again, 135 just sounds like a good weight, I have no idea what the BMI is at that weight or if I'll even like me at that weight. I am comfortable at size 13 pants and L tops (busty) and could totally enjoy the rest of my life like this, but I do want to try and ride racehorses again and if that's gonna happen, then I have to get down to 135. So we'll see if I can do it.
My year anniversary is Thursday, May 27, and I will be attending my first support group meeting in a couple months, even though I do faithfully come here to OH daily. Even if I am happy with myself and content with my success, I will be happy to share my story with newbies!
