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                                                                                          January 2009
I can't believe my one year surgerversary is only a month away.  How far I have come in a year.   I have lost 100 lbs (though been in a stall for 2 months and trying to kick it back in gear), met many, many great new friends, no longer get winded when doing things, can keep up with my fiance and have learned how to eat better.  I know I still have a long way to go, but thats ok.  I have come a long way so far and accomplished a lot.  My attitude has totally changed, I am more out going and the best thing, I walk now with my head up watching what is in front of me instead of looking down at the ground.  I haven't seen a lot of my family in almost 2 yrs and I can not wait until we can make a road trip up north to be able to do so.  I never thought I would be down in a size 16.  After 7 yrs, I finally bought a dress.  And its not one that covers me up totally.  And I now have 2 pair of heals to go with the dress.  Something I have wished for, but never thought I would be able to do.  At the most recent support meeting, I didn't feel like a fool getting up with everyone else and dancing.  Normally, I would just sit and watch.  IT WAS GREAT!!!!!  And I look so forward to doing it again.  I am only a few pounds away from being out of the 200's and can't wait.  I know 2009 is going to be another great year with a lot of success, as long as I can control the head hunger...


OCTOBER 28, 2008
I DID IT, I DID IT, I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had to go to my pcp yesterday and of course, had to get on the scale to get weighed.  I have officially lost 100 lbs.  304 lbs was my start weight before surgery and now I am at 204 lbs.  Dropped 4 sizes  and lost the weight in 8 months.  What a wonderful birthday present for myself.  I am definately going to go out and get myself something special to celebrate this milestone.  I really can't believe its happening.  So hard to believe I have lost that much.  Only way I can really believe it is being in smaller size clothes.  I still have about 54 more lbs to go but I am more then halfway to my goal now.  It is the best feeling.  Being able to do things I couldn't do before or would have a hard time doing is amazing.  To all of you who are going to have the surgery, congrats for taking charge of your life and your health.  To those of you that have had it and are still losers and those of you that have reached goal, thank you for your on going support.  There is nothing better then having the people you love and friends that are there for you when ever you need them or just need a kick in the all and congrats to you.

July 2, 2008

Ok my ex husband has screwed me again!!!!!  My youngest son called me last night just to talk and say hi and after I talk to him and my daughter, my daughter tells me that my other son can't talk on the phone because he got in trouble.  I get my ex husband on the phone and was told that my son did something he shouldn't have (a typical 12 yr old) and his phone priviledge got taken away again and that he will not be coming up here with me for the 2 weeks like we planned.  WTF!!!!!!   I haven't seen my kids in a year because I can not drop everything and dig deep into our dusty pockets and come up with the money to drive down to NC to see them.  Last time I saw them was July of 07 and that was for a day.  Origionally we wanted all the kids to come but my daughter is very into her color guard with school and is starting practice during that time and my youngest son didn't do well in school and I was told he couldn't come because he needed to be there to do work to get himself caught up and ready for sept. Fine....So that left my other son.  I can understand him getting in trouble and grounded but to keep me from being able to spend the only time I can get there to get him is just not right.  My ex is very vindictive and will do what ever he can to piss me off and upset me. He says he isn't , but he is.  The words out of his mouth last night were "well maybe when the kids have an extended weekend again to come down and see if maybe we can change going down there to visit to another weekend"....NO WE CAN'T!!!!!  My fiance works construction and can not just take off when ever he feels.  We barely are making the bill payments we need to (house phone should be cut off this weekend) and can not just up and go where ever and when ever we want.  I am so stressed, upset, pissed.......I just don't know how to handle all of this.  I know it will only be another day or so before I break down and start crying again.  I am the type that keeps thinking about things till I just lose it.  We are still going down to NC July 19th and coming home the next day but I won't get to spend any quality time with my kids.  We have to take our dog with us because we couldn't afford to board her for a couple days.  (at least we found a pet friendly hotel).  The plans were to go down saturday spend a couple hours with all the kids sat night and leave sunday with my one son and come back here to MD.  Now the only time we will have to spend with the kids is that sunday and will have the dog with us.  we can't go anywhere and lock the dog in the car.....what the hell am i supposed to do????? I need to take his ass to court and get the visitation papers redone but can't afford an attorney and would have to go through NC to do so.  Legal aid is bull shit.  I contact maryland and they tell me to contact north carolina.  i contact NC and they say they need a referral from MD.  I tell MD this and they don't do shit.  Its been a run around for years.  NO ONE WILL HELP ME!!!!!  So now between the stress of not seeing my kids and my weight being at a stall for 2 weeks, i am STRESSED!!!!!!
July 1, 2008

Ok normally I put my new posts on the bottom but today i am doing things different cause thats just the mood i am in today.  Too much crap going on lately and i am so stressed.  The scale hasn't moved in over a week.  When it did move down 4 lbs it came back up within 2 days.  WTF!?!?!?!?!?!  I am stuck and can't get things moving again.  Thought it was part of pms, or aunt flo, but its over and done with and its not moving again.  Measurements went down a little but still not happy.  We are struggling so bad here with money its killing me.  With my bf's ex sticking us with her $800 electric bill the end of last year, we constantly get the turn off notices.  We could be turned off anytime.  Just waiting for the knock at the door saying they want money or they turn us off...(i know this is what they do because we have been there once already)..last time social services said they won't help us cause bf makes too much...hell, if he made too much, we would be able to pay all our friggin bills!!!!!! DUH!!!!!!!  I am letting verizon cut off our phone the end of this week. just can't afford the bill.  we have cell phones so there really is no need for a house phone. other then that was our internet connection but i got in touch with the cable company and they will hook us up with internet without a fee...nice of the guy to do that.  in 2 weeks we are supposed to be going down to the outer banks in nc to pick up one of my son's and he is going to stay with us for 2 weeks.  bf's job is screwing him over once again and he is actually home today. he does construction down at the pentagon and they want everyone to have a parking tag or they will get towed, starting today.  well, needless to say, most of the employee's from the company he works for doesn't have parking tags.  he went down there this morning to try and get someone to get him a tag but of course, no one was there to help him so he came home.  another day without pay.  if he got towed, one of his boss's said its on him to pay the towing...WTF!!!!! its not his fault he doesn't have a tag. he got the required paperwork in, it should be their responsibility.  thats $50 we don't have if he gets towed.  the only parking area close by is at a mall there and its $14 a day.  we have just over $7 in the bank and he still has to get gas to get to work....which brings me back to nc, how the hell can i do anything with my son here for 2 weeks, get food, get gas and pay bills????  when we take him back down to nc we wanted to spend an extra day or 2 to have a little needed vacation for ourselves...don't see that happening.  my daughter's 16th birthday is the 18 th of this month.  how the hell can i get her anything for her birthday?????  i really don't know what to do.  with bf's job and my social security we barely make it.  i am going to try again to see if we can get help with our electric bill.  probably will get turned down again.  if they won't help us, i don't know what we are going to do.  so between bills, bf having problems with work, probably not being able to show my son a good time here for 2 weeks, my daughter's 16th birthday, weight stall,.....i am stressed!!!!!  just had to vent...thanks for listening..


I am 38 yrs old, live in Glen Burnie, MD and have been looking into this surgery for as long as I can remember.  I guess now is finally the right time for things to progress and things to finally be for ME and not someone else.  I have three children that live in NC with their father, unfortunately.  I have the most wonderful man in my life for the past 4 yrs that supports me in everything I do.  He's more nervous and stressed over the surgery tomorrow then I am.  Going through this liquid diet this past week has been hell.  Nothing like the dr's telling you to quit smoking AND to stop eating food that you chew.  Talk about difficult.  I have done the best I can this past week, a few slip ups, but nothing too bad.  I swear I have never gone to the bathroom so much.  I have been taking Detrol LA to help with the over active bladder and they go and tell me to be on a liquid diet for a sucks.... But, tomorrow 2/28 will hopefully change all that.  I have been going through all the stuff the insurance wanted me to go through since July of last year.  The doctor I have, Dr. Averbach, and his staff are great.  They are always smiling and cheerful when I have had to go to the office.  I am a bit nervous about eating when I come home.  Afraid i am not going to get in all the protein they are asking people to intake, afraid of eating something that isn't going to agree with my new stomach and get sick.  I know, no one out there likes to get sick.  
As things progress, I will write more.  Will be a few days until I am back home to get on line and write more.  As soon as i am up to it, I will post how the surgery went.  I am so looking forward to chatting with others out there who have gone through this process.  Its so nice to see such a good support group on a website..So glad I found it.


I am now 4 days post-op from the surgery and surprised how well I am feeling.  I am not in pain just a bit of discomfort.  Kind of like having a bunch of bruises on my stomach, but  I know thats to be expected.  But I know this not going to last forever.  I have been trying as hard as possible to get in the protein that they suggest we should have but it is difficult.  Stomach doesn't want to hold that much yet.  It can take me as long as an hour to drink half of the recommended amount needed so I started splitting it up to twice a day.  Half during first snack and the other half usually before dinner.  I am shocked about reading food labels now.  I never paid any attention to them before.  I don't doubt there will be times that I may take in more sugar then I am supposed to but I am trying really hard to pay attention to the labels and keep it to a minimum.  I am also shocked about how many things have no protein grams in them at all.  And if they do have protein grams in the, its a very small amount.  Trying to find different ways to mix the protein powder NECTAR that I picked up from the store.  Its not the best tasting just mixing with water.  Today, I threw half of the daily amount in a blender with crushed pineapple, packed in its own juice, not the light syrup.  Acually makes it taste a bit better.  More like a tropical drink.  Don't think I am going to stay with the NECTAR protein powder.  Will be happy going back to either the ATKINS or the EAS brand ready made protein drinks.  The nutritionist asked me today if I am peeing a lot, and of course, I am.  She says thats a good thing because it means i am not dehydrating myself and getting plenty of fluids.  I have something next to me 24/7 so that I can prevent that from happening.  I definately don't want to go back to the hospital.  Still no bowl movement though.  Reading some of the other profiles, some have had the runs...Guess everyone is different.  I am sure that it will happen to me sooner or later.  Figures also that my menstral was to start the weekend of the surgery.  That didn't happen.  Now I have to keep on guard to have it show up when it wants to which sucks.  I am all about counting the days on the calander.  I just have to say, I am very very happy that I went ahead and did the surgery.  Hard to believe though that it actually happened....finally.
Well, had my 4 week check up today and another 10 lbs gone...YIPPEE!!!!!!!  It is soooooooo nice to be able to fit into clothes i haven't worn in over a year.  Have a party to go to this weekend and don't have to go out and buy clothes for it because I actually have some in my closet that fit.  My fiance is very happy for me, though he still worries about me getting sick or losing way too much weight and looking anorexic.  There is no way that is going to happen.  Still difficult to eat some things (pasta especially).  Have made my own meatloaf, love Tillapia fish, but still finding its all trial and error with foods.  Guess all my blood work came back good, i wasn't told to take any other pills, which is great.  Dr. Averbach told me i should average aout 15 lbs a month now which is good (though deep down i would love to lose more then that), but its a slow process that i have accepted.  Have found that when i crave something sweet, canned fruit (peaches and pears) curb that craving well.  Still struggling with that awful Nectar protein powder.  Made it into frozen ices blended with pineapple and its tolerable.  Hope everyone else out there is doing well too....

April 30, 2008

Today was my 2 month post op check up and boy was I excited to see another 14 lbs gone....WOOOO HOOOOO.....I am soooooooo close to 50 lbs down, I know its going to happen at my next appointment.  Guess all I have been doing is working.  I was at a standstill for almost 2 weeks.  I was so disappointed but all has worked out well.  The doctor says i am right on track and will see him again next month and he says it will probably be about 10 lbs down for the next visit.  i will push for a little more then that but we shall see.  Its been a great day....YEAH FOR ME!!!!!!!


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Well, today I had my 3 month weigh in with Dr. Averbach and boy was I nervous.  I was hoping that I would hit the 60 lb mark but missed it by 2 lbs....2LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh well, how can i complain about losing 58 lbs in 3 months???  I can't.  It is soooooooooooo nice going in the closet and grabbing a pair of capri pants that I had to get last year when we went down to NC and I actually had to get a bigger size then I had been wearing (was wearing 24 but had to get a 26 to get them over my lower fat buldge).  I love putting them on now to show myself how far I have come since last summer.  They aren't tight on my calves when i sit down anymore.  I don't have to get up from sitting down and shake my leg to get them from being stuck up too far my calf.  Even my regular jeans i have now that are a size 22, I am constantly pulling them up when we are out and walking around.  Really have to get to the store and try clothes on to see if a 20 will fit now.  Still love having my shirts big though.  They are sooooooooo roomy and comfy.  Glad I hung onto some old "over the shoulder boulder holders".  Can actually put one on from last year (it felt like it used to cut off the circulation) and i can even fit fingers between me and the bra.  Don't have the over flow on the top either...YIPPEE!!!!!!!  Dr. said my calorie intake seemed low (between 600-850 cal a day) but he says I seem to be doing ok with it so he wasn't too concerned.  Guess its time to start increasing the calorie intake.  Hard to though when I can't eat too much.  But anyway, just had to share the good news...go me, go me, go me...



Just had to add the WOW moment I had today.  Actually 2 of them.  Finally broke down and went to Walmart to get myself a pair of shorts.  Have been putting it off and putting it off.  Went and found a pair on the rack, $10.  Not bad.  Didn't feel like trying them on so I hoped that once i got home they would fit.  Well, they did!!!!!!   I am now down 2 full sizes in 3 months.  WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!   I haven't been in a size 20 in 16 yrs (since I had my daughter).  The second wow moment today was when I went to the cashier to pay for them and a new bra.  The cashier was a really nice lady who I have gone to before.  She looked at the bra and asked if  I knew it was a DD.  I laughed and said yeah, the girls are shrinking but sagging bad.  She looked at me and said, girl, you don't look like a DD.  Boy was that nice.  Made me feel really good.  Funny thing is that she was got home and tried it on and the cups are actually a little big.  When I go back tomorrow to get more shorts, I will get the smaller bra too.  Been about 16 yrs since I have seen a D cup that fits on has just been one hell of a great day...Hope everyone else out there is having a great one too and will continue to do so.  I won't give up!!!!!!!



June 4, 2008


I finally hit the 60 lb mark...woooo hoooo!!!!!!   Went to my first support group meeting and had a blast.  Laughed the whole time.  Its so nice to be able to sit with people who know what you are going through and can give you support or a kick in the ass if you need it. Went to Walmart yesterday and picked up a size 20 jeans without trying them on.  Was a little worried when I got home that they may be too snug but nope, they fit perfectly.  So thats down 2 sizes now too....god this is great!!!!!  Hard work, but great.  Congrats to everyone out there that has gone through this or is going to go through the surgery.  Its the best thing that I have ever done and I know you will feel the same. Looking forward to the next meeting and more wow moments to come...







June 9, 2008

Ok, I have no idea how it happened but from the last time I weighed myself 4 lbs disappeared.  Can we say "YEE HAW"!!!!!!!!!!!!  Think its from the sinus infection medication my PCP put me on...yeah, go figure, headaches for over a week, she takes one look in my throat and says I have a sinus infection...AND gives me friggin horse pills to take...thank god they are capsuls that I can pull apart and put the medicine in something...(STILL TASTES NASTY>>>BLAHHHHHHH).  Anyway, I am down to 240 now.  I have not weighed that since early 1994, after I had my daughter and did Jenny Craig for a few months.  (ran out of money, couldn't afford to keep up with it).  This is just too cool...90 lbs to go till goal weight (or in that general for all the support everyone.  

June 20, 2008

Another day another dollar out the door.  Things this past week have just been so damn stressful.  DF got served with papers to go to court over rent still owed for a place his ex got thrown out of last August.  Unfortunately he did not make sure that his name was taken off the lease and he is being held liable for almost $3000.00 in back rent and repairs.  This isn't the first time that she has stuck us with a bill that she didn't pay.  The electric bill never got taken out of his name either and when she got thrown out BGE very nicely tacked on to our bill the $800 she was behind.  Now we are the ones that get the monthly turn off notice because we are behind on paying the bill.  And I know she has no intention of paying us any of the money.  She can't pay her own bills she has now.  I know she will always be in his life because they have kids and grand kids but this is just rediculous.  She recently got our phone number, which we had changed last year because she and their daughter constantly called our home from the moment DF got home from work till 9-10pm.  And they called for no reason...There was an emergency the other day and she called his job and they gave her our home number....IDIOTS!!!!!!!  They were told under no circumstances to give anyone our home number. Especially since its usually company policy not to give out any personal information.  They could have very easily paged him at the job he was at to tell him there was an emergency but they didn't do so.  The first time one of them calls this house for any reason the number will be changed again.  She swears she won't but I know her, she lies constantly and will figure some reason to call.  But on a lighter note, I have lost more weight....WOOO HOOOO....Time to get a bathing suit...ugh...Going down to the Outer Banks in NC next month to pick up one of my son's to come visit and definately going to go to the beach and not covering up like i did last year.  yeah i have my flaws since weight loss but hey, this will be the first time i will wear a suit in many many years.  Soooooo excited that I am going to have one of my kids come visit me for 2 weeks...I haven't been able to see them in a year.  Just too expensive to go anywhere these days.  Well, thats all for now...Hope all of you are doing well with your weight loss...Thanks for listening..?Hopefully all good news next time I post...

June 23, 2008

THE SCALE FINALLY MOVED THIS MORNING!!!!!!!  Thank god...Its been at its normal stall for a week, almost a week and a half.  This is happening every month and it is sooooooo frustrating.  But it finally moved again this morning. I have finally hit the 70 lb gone mark...WOOT WOOT!!!!   Went out and got myself a bathing suit yesterday.  Wouldn't have gotten one if I didn't need one for our trip to the Outer Banks next month.  It was nice to go into a store and find one that I liked, though I know I won't fit into it next year.  I didn't try it on at the store, a very bad habit i have when buying things.  I was very shocked to see that it fit nicely when I got home.  The top is a halter and the bottoms are a skirt/shorts combo.  What I was extremely shocked over was the size of the top...a 20.  Normally I would be wearing 22 or 24, depending on the top.  The bottoms, get this, are and XL!!!!!  I can't remember the last time I bought bottoms in anything that were an XL.  I tried it on before fiance came home and the only thing I have close to a mirror is the big screen tv.  I stood in front of it and was shocked to see my hips weren't wider then the rest of me and I wasn't hanging out of the suit.  Standing sideways, thats a different story, with the gut still sticking out, but not as bad as it used to.  My fiance came home and I put it on for him to see and he got a big grin on his face and said it looked made my night.  

About Me
Glen Burnie, MD
Surgery Date
Mar 13, 2007
Member Since

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Latest Blog 2