wufpackerfan

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I'm a little over 6 months out from surgery and doing quite well.  I've lost 95 lbs and am very grateful.  I can't wait to lose the next 5lbs to reach my 100lbs LOST milestone.  How exciting.  I'm waiting for that day.  I still need to lose about 30-35 more lbs to reach my ULTIMATE goal.  I'm hoping those 30 lbs will come off between now and my 1 year surgiversary date in March.  I'm sure the weight will start to come off alot slower.  I've noticed a real slow-down over the past 2 months.  I've hovered at the same weight neighborhood for about 2 months now...losing maybe 4-5 lbs.  It scares me.  I don't like to see the stalls.  This has been a doozy of a stall too.  I'm ready to reach my 100 lbs lost milestone already and now I have a stall...taking me forever to get those next 5 lbs off.  Geez.  I'm going to hang in there though.  I know I'll make it.  Guess I'll just have to be patient. 

I'm so pleased with my progress though and am thrilled I decided to do this procedure.  It was the best decision I've made in a long time.  I feel 100% better.  It's amazing how wonderful 95 lbs feels OFF of your body, especially your feet.  :-)  I feel like a new person and I've got my life back.  It's incredible.  I'm going to keep my chin up, continue to eat right and exercise and hope and pray that these last few pesky 35 lbs come off in a reasonable amount of time...I really hope to be at GOAL Weight by March of 2012. 

June 2nd will make 3 months out from surgery for me.  I'm feeling great!  I did have a little episode there for a while about 2 weeks ago involving pain on my right side near my rib cage area.  It wasn't a constant pain but it would come and go every 3 or 4 days or so.  It wasn't a sharp pain but more like an annoying ache type of pain.  Anyways, I had it checked out.  Did an ultrasound on the area to rule out gall bladder.  Ultrasound didn't turn up anything.  I also had a CT Scan of the abdominal area and it didn't turn up anything either.  Results were normal.  I ended up going on vacation to Seattle and Portland areas for 2 weeks and for some reason I didn't experience any pain like I did before.  Seemed to have cleared up.  So far so good.  Right now I'm just taking it day by day and seeing if it re-occurs.  Hopefully it won't.  That's the only issue I've had post-op.  Otherwise, everything has been great!  I've felt great, tired at times probably due to lower calorie intake but other than that--I've felt great.  I've lost about 55 lbs in 3 months.  Almost in "ONEDERLAND".  That will feel amazing when the scales have a "1" in front of my number.  I haven't seen a "1" in at least 5 years or more.  What  a feeling it will be.  I just keep plugging along trying to watch my portion intake and keep it low on fat and low on sugar.  So far, no dumping for me.  I haven't really had anything bad for me either so I'm not surprised I've done so well.  I still have a protein shake every morning as my breakfast meal.  Vitamins and supplements are going great and I have a routine down pat now.  I'm just really pleased with my progress and happy that I decided to change my life and get this surgery.  It's been the best decision for me.  I hope my weight loss success continues and I finally reach my goal weight.  I am certain I'll achieve it.  Then I'll have the task of keeping it there...at my goal weight.  For me that's the hardest part---maintenance.  I hope I'm building good habit now that will help me be able to maintain my weight loss once achieved.  Overall, everything is great and I'd do the surgery again in a heartbeat.  I had a great surgeon and she knows her stuff--she took good care of me and for that I'll always be eternally grateful. 

It's the day before the BIG DAY.  I'm feeling good, well...except for the magnesium citrate I had to drink this morning to clean my system out.  NOT FUN.  Taste wasn't bad at all though but it's the after effects that haven't been too much fun.  Other than that--I'm feeling really good.  Not nervous yet.  Probably might have a bit of nervousness later on tonight or tomorrow morning for sure.  I've had quite a few surgeries in the past 3-5 years so I'm almost a pro now.  I have to confess though that this is the most invasive & more serious.  Just hoping everything goes okay tomorrow and I wake up in recovery @ the hospital feeling resonably well considering what my body just endured. 

Right now...just getting it over with and getting back home is all that's on my mind.  Guess most people feel this way.  I don't dread it or anything but it would be nice to fast forward a bit to a more pleasant time.  Can't wait to be on the LOSER'S BENCH.  Summer is fast approaching and it will be nice to be healed up and outdoors doing stuff and SLIMMING DOWN.  :-)

 

My surgery date is March 2nd 2011.  It's getting here fast, only 2 more days away.  I'm feeling rather optimistic.  I think that's because I can't wait to get started on the new & healthier me.  Yeah, yeah, in the back of my mind I'm totally thinking about not eating for 3 weeks while being on the liquid diet.  That is going to SUCK big time.  I hope I can make it thru.  But I know that after the 3 weeks are over and I can start to eat "SOFT" foods again, things should be a bit better & hopefully will continue to get better.  At least I hope so.  I'm going to take it one day at a time.

First things first is that I have to make it thru the surgery and my hospital stay.  Then it's on to following my water sipping schedule and getting my protein in each hour.  That's about all you can do is take it a day at a time.  And that's what I'm going to try to focus on doing. 

I took some photos of myself today and boy was that a reality check.  I didn't realize that I was soooooo huge.  I am.  The obese photo shoot put things into perspective for me.  It truly cemented the WHY part of getting this surgical procedure.  I've got to get to a healthier weight so that I feel better and also look better too which will undoubtedly lead to a happier me.  Pictures are powerful.  And I hope mine help me get thru those hard times.  When I'm having a hard time either getting to my goal weight or afterwards--trying to MAINTAIN what I've lost, I hope I can pull out the photos that I took today and recall where I was and how miserable I felt and looked.  I truly don't want to ever end up here again.  EVER!!!!!!  I can't believe it's really me.  When I think about myself I certainly don't think about me being this obese/fat.  Of course, I see myself as I used to be and when I look in the mirror I do see my fat self but it just doesn't compute that I'm truly obese and out of control with my eating and lack of physical activity.  The photos I took today sure do hit home.  It was an "OMG" effect to be sure. 

So I'm glad I took those.  It helps me to face my upcoming surgery with hopefulness and positive vibes.  Sure, it's gonna be NO PICNIC going thru all this, but I hope it's worth it on the other side when this  fall--I'll be taking photos and hopefully I'll be 100lbs lighter than I am today.   I'm actually excited about the prospects of a NEW and improved me.  A happier and healther me.  No worries, just feeling encouraged.

This is what I hope to do when I lose the excess weight (these are all the things I can't do now of course):
Tie my own shoes without struggling or without the help of my husband
Cross my legs
Get up off of the floor without help
Bend over with ease to pick up anything that drops onto the floor
Not sweat down after just taking a shower trying to get dressed--it's such an effort when you've obese
Not sweating down while trying to do the most basic of household chores...right now I MELT down
Not dreading to have my picture taken
Getting in front of the camera more than just standing behind it snapping the photos when on vacation
Comfotably fitting into an airplane seat
Fitting into most seats without my legs being crushed on either side
Walking around without huffing and puffing & gasping for air
Not dreading to climb stairs
Shopping for clothes
Having CONTROL over my eating
Liking the way I look in the mirror
Feeling healthier
Having more energy
Standing on my feet without my heel spurs killing me
Not wanthing to be "sitting down" all of the time...being LAZY because of my weight
Being able to get out of bed without a struggle
Being able to bend over and get down on my knees to plant some bedding plants in my yard
Driving my vehicle without being uncomfortable
Being able to LOOK FORWARD to spring and summer because I will be able to be outdoors doing stuff
Bicycling around the neighborhood
Going on vacations and being able to walk around as much as I wish
Enjoying my life & being being present in my life
And being an inspiration to other obese people when they inquire about weight loss surgery, for once I'd like to be a POSTER CHILD FOR SOMETHING POSITIVE...

Wow, this was helpful, now March 2nd can't get here soon enough for me

Jan. 9 2011

I've done all of my preliminary visits and tests and everything.  So now it's just a wait and see when I get called back in to be given the news if I'm a good candidate for this surgery or not.  I know that I'll need to call and bug them though.  I'm sure they drop the ball at this point because I have no more appts scheduled with them.  I plan to give them a call this week to see what the next step is.  Duke Weight Loss Surgery Center is a very busy place and they're trying to see soooo many patients.  You have to be assertive if you want to get the attention you need.  You can't wait for them to call you--or at least that's how I see it.  So I'll be contacting them & hoping to move onto the next phase of this process.

Dec. 28 2010

Today when I got back to work after the Christmas holidays, I learned that one of my co-workers had a heart attack on Christmas Day.  He had to have a quadruple by-pass.  He is 38 and he's in relatively good shape or so I thought.  He certainly wasn't over-weight but he also didn't make very good food choices as I was able to observe as I'd walk by his office while he was eating a breakfast snack or eating lunch.  His favorites seems to be Bojangles fried chicken and fries with sweet tea & Cook-Out burgers and fries.  He appeared to be healthy in all aspects.  He even worked out at a gym regularly.  Some of it is probably genetics--the reason why he had the heart attack but the doctors also told him he needed to eat healthier.

This really hit me hard.  I know I'm not in good shape at all--morbidly obese as I am.  So this really shook me up and made me think.  I've got to get healthier.  I don't want to be in his shoes.  I'm thinking that I'm on the road to a healthier me by having this WLSurgery.  I need this before it's too late for me.  With my cholesterol at 199...I'm in danger of clogged arteries myself.  Time is running out.  I can't wait to get going on becoming a healthier me.  :-) 

Dec. 2010

Today I was able to go online via Duke's website and view my bloodwork results.  Overall, not too terrible I suppose.  I was PRE-Diabetic as far as glucose levels go.  Yikes...don't want diabetes.  My cholesterol was high 199.  Hmmm, not good.  I had some elevated liver enzymes as well.  The numbers were very high above what's normal but anything above normal concerns me.  I researched it and found that these elevated exzymes present in the blook can be the result of fatty liver disease.  Not good.  So, overall I am okay with the bloodwork results.  I'm no doctor though so I'll have to wait to hear back from Dr. Pryor to know the real evaluation part.  A couple of things concern me.  I know weight-loss surgery should be able to help almost all of them.  I'm just happy that everything else on the bloodwork sheet looked normal.  I look forward to the day when everything on the bloodwork page is within normal ranges.  :-)

Dec. 14 2010

Today I had my 1st visit with the psychologist for the "initial" evaluation for WLSurgery.  Things went well, I think.  She's very nice and pleasant to talk to.  Couldn't help but notice she was very slim.  I was jealous of course.  But then again she probably makes good food choices and I don't.  Obviously.  Oh well, I'm looking forward to working with her in the future.  She provided me with some book titles I need to check into reading and shared some helpful websites, one of which I was already using.  You guessed it..."ObesityHelp.com".  Yeah!!!  Glad I found this website way early in my research on this procedure.  I told her that I'd been a member for months now.  She seemed pleased that I was taking the initiative to get involved with others who are experiencing the same situation as me.  Overall, it was a good/productive visit.  I'm feeling confident about my road ahead. 

Dec. 10 2010

Had my visit to Durham Regional to have the required tests done.  I did the EKG, the Barium Swallow test, & the chest x-ray.  Barium swallow wasn't as bad as I was anticipating.  Of course the other 2 tests were a piece of cake.  Overall, everything went smoothly.  Which is great news. 

My only problem as I press on with this journey is the feeling of failure.  I feel like I should be trying to do this on my own again rather than having surgery.  Don't know why I keep thinking this thought.  I've lost weight before just to gain it back and then extra pounds to boot.  But I keep thinking about how drastic of a measure this procedure is and wondering if I'll look back and regret the fact that I didn't give it just one more try on my own to lose the weight and try to keep it off.  But deep down I don't know if I have the willpower to do it.  I guess that's why I ended up going to Duke WLSurgery Center in the first place.  Oh that, & the fact that a co-worker recently had the procedure and he seems to be doing wonderful.  He has also yo-yo'd up and down the scales as I have.  Trying various diets--losing and then gaining back.  The fact that he was willing to try this to see if it can help, gave me the courage to explore this as an option or tool myself.  I just keep hoping that I don't end up living to regret doing this---that's all.  I hear good testimonies from those who've had it done and that's great and all but I know deep down there are those who don't have such "Happily ever-after" stories of WLSurgery.  Those are the ones that I pay close attention to...the unsuccessful folks.  I just don't want to be one of them. 

Overall, I'm still pressing ahead with this though.  Trying to feel optimistic and realizing this is life changing for me and can make my life so much better.

Dec. 7 2010

Had my first visit to the Duke Weight Loss Surgery Center.  Met with my selected doctor...Dr. Aurora Pryor.  I was impressed with her.  I also met with Patrick the nutritionist.  Had bloodwork done, etc.  I feel that I'm off to a good start.  Feeling a bit anxious about the whole thing.  Hoping I'm making the right choice.  Realizing that I still have time to back out if I choose to do so.  Not really wanting to do that though of course but this is a life-changing surgery and it does worry me still.  I'm pressing on though.