Visit to Durham Regional for required tests Dec 2010

Jan 08, 2011

Dec. 10 2010

Had my visit to Durham Regional to have the required tests done.  I did the EKG, the Barium Swallow test, & the chest x-ray.  Barium swallow wasn't as bad as I was anticipating.  Of course the other 2 tests were a piece of cake.  Overall, everything went smoothly.  Which is great news. 

My only problem as I press on with this journey is the feeling of failure.  I feel like I should be trying to do this on my own again rather than having surgery.  Don't know why I keep thinking this thought.  I've lost weight before just to gain it back and then extra pounds to boot.  But I keep thinking about how drastic of a measure this procedure is and wondering if I'll look back and regret the fact that I didn't give it just one more try on my own to lose the weight and try to keep it off.  But deep down I don't know if I have the willpower to do it.  I guess that's why I ended up going to Duke WLSurgery Center in the first place.  Oh that, & the fact that a co-worker recently had the procedure and he seems to be doing wonderful.  He has also yo-yo'd up and down the scales as I have.  Trying various diets--losing and then gaining back.  The fact that he was willing to try this to see if it can help, gave me the courage to explore this as an option or tool myself.  I just keep hoping that I don't end up living to regret doing this---that's all.  I hear good testimonies from those who've had it done and that's great and all but I know deep down there are those who don't have such "Happily ever-after" stories of WLSurgery.  Those are the ones that I pay close attention to...the unsuccessful folks.  I just don't want to be one of them. 

Overall, I'm still pressing ahead with this though.  Trying to feel optimistic and realizing this is life changing for me and can make my life so much better.

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