My Long Journey of Weight Loss and Gain

Jan 12, 2009

Here is my story of weight loss failures and partial successes.

First of all, I have not EVER been thin for one day in my life. I was a chubby little kid who turned into a chubby teenager who dieted themselves into a fat obese adult.

I say I dieted myself into obesity because everytime I would lose weight, as soon as I stopped being on a diet, I would gain all my weight back plus 20 pounds more. So everytime I dieted, I'd end up bigger and bigger.

My biggest weight was 306. I shudder even writing that number down in public, it's that horrendous to me.

I can't remember what year, but sometime in the late 1980's I had VBG surgery. It was successful as far as I lost about 120 pounds within a year or so. I got down to about 180 but never could get past that. Over the past 20 plus years, I kept my 180 for several years, then my weight started creeping up some, but kept it in the 200 to 220 range. Not thrilling, but still way better than being over 300 pounds.

Last June, there were several days where I could not even keep water down. I felt as though I had some food stuck that was blocking even water from going down.

I had an endoscopy done in June of 2008 so they could see what was blocking water and food from going down. The doctor said that the ring area (from my small pouch  to the rest of my stomach) had swollen shut. He did a balloon dilitation to stretch it out.

However, I had NO idea he had stretched it out so dang much!! Before I knew it, I was eating whole sub sandwiches and hamburgers and things I had not been able to eat in over 20 years. Also, before I knew it, I had gained 50 pounds within 2 months! I went back to my doctor and asked him why it is that I can eat like PRE-surgery and gain so much weight so fast, and he just laughed it off and said that my stomach would go back down and that obviously my surgery had not really worked that well. Well, it worked well enough BEFORE he stretched my stomach out with that balloon.

So, in total, I have gained 70 pounds since last June. I am currently on my third try at dieting. I have lost a whole 3 pounds the first week. Better than nothing, but I used to lose 10-15 pounds the first week of a diet, so this really sucks.

I am still the same person I've always been. I LOVE to eat and that has never changed. What my surgery had done for me was only allow me to eat a small amount, but when I overate, I would have to throw up and then I'd go back for more food, sounds gross, I know, but it kept my weight down and I ate what I liked.

Now, I'd give anything to be throwing up again and be around 200 pounds again. This extra 70 pounds I have gained has made my knee pain much worse.

I have been fighting this crap my entire life and I am so sick to death of it.

I've been reading all of your wonderful success stories on the DS forum and am so envious of your before and after pictures. As much as I hate taking pills, it would be worth it to me to have to take 40 vitamins and mineral pills a day if that is what is required.

I'm going to continue to see what I can find out, but I don't know whether I'll be able to get Tricare Prime to pay for a DS. I know they will pay for a RNY or a lapband, but I'm not going through with what has side effects I can't deal with.

If anyone knows any angels out there that can point me in the right direction as far as getting my insurance to pay for DS, that would be awesome.

Working at Starbucks is not an option for me, nor is self-paying, I wish it were.

Thanks for "listening"!

Wynter

PS, the avatar image on my profile is me with my Dad before he passed away. I was about 200 in that picture. This was taken about 4 years ago.

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