A few more days...

Sep 13, 2010

Just a few more days and you know what I'm thinking about the most? What I'm nervous about the most? It's not the physical pain due to the surgery, it's the emotional. I can't even put it into words how to explain it. See, this is who I've been my whole life. I've always been the "big girl", for as long as I can remember.  I admit, that I almost let it define my life. I am not afraid to admit anymore that I let my obesity revolve around my life, the choices that I've made, the things that I've done or the things that I didn't do. Most of all, I want to finally be healthy & I want to finally be able to do the things that have held me back for so long and that makes me anxious. But, what I question the most now is, will it be hard seeing myself change so much when I'm so used to this? You know?  I guess I'll see when the time comes. Maybe it won't even be that big of a deal then. Maybe all of my anxiousness, nervousness & all the other feelings that I am feeling are just getting the best of me...we'll see. Hmm?

Anyway,  I've been busy getting my bag ready for the day, can't forget my chapstick! Ha. I've also been reading my book provided by Dr. Bruderer over & over, making sure that I don't forget to read anything important. I'm pretty much set. I'll try to put in another post before the day...

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