Debbie P.

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So we made it through our first Christmas without sugar!  Yeah us!  Not eating sugar since April did not make it any easier to resist all of those seemingly constant temptations.  My word!  It did not!  There is sugar coming at you from every direction at this time of year, from Thanksgiving to New Year's. I really thought that I was stronger than the addiction.  I did not cheat but I hate that it still has that hold on me.  The hardest part without a doubt is people acting as if someone died because you choose not to eat that piece of candy or dessert.  I find it hard enough to manage my own emotions when it comes to overcoming the sugar addiction let alone trying to help someone else through it.  Wow!

Ok now that that is out.  I cannot tell you how good it feels to walk into a store and pick a size 12 off the rack and put it on my body!  It was everything I thought it was going to be.  My head doesn't feel like it is going to pop when I bend over to tie my shoes.  It is awesome and worth it.

The hardest part has been the the people around me.  I have lost friends over this.  They have stopped calling or caring what is going on with me and my life.  Even though I do not want it to be this way the first topic of discussion when I see someone is about how I look.  This is tough and I am struggling right now with it.  I guess I start over, try to make new friends and celebrate life.  I wish we had a support group here in my area.  I thank God for everything he has done for me!  Good things are coming in '09!

Since the surgery I have been dealing with diarrheah and nausea.  Tough to get food down when you know that that is the result.  So at my one month post-op Dr. Hariah ordered an EDG.  Come to find out I have a marginal ulcer??  I will get details on the 21st.  I am trying to stay positive so I am not going to worry about stuff until I know there is something to worry about.  Getting the dehydration under control is key right now.  If I dont' do that I can't work.  I simply am too tired.

I am afraid to eat anything right now.  It is tough to try a new food daily knowing the results could ruin the rest of your day and some tomorrow.  Enough with the self-pity!!  All the clothes in my closet are too big.  I don't feel embarassed when people look at me.  I need to keep my eyes on the prize!  Remember why I did this and be thankful for how far I have come already.

Ok... it's been awhile.  I had my surgery rev. gastroplasty to RNY April 1, 2008.  Everything went well.  Recovery is rough.  Each day is better.  After going though everything  so far I am still glad I did it. 

Finally, I have approval from Aetna for a revision for a mechanical breakdown.  The test results from the upper gi tests are back.  My stomach is healthy with the exception of some minor heartburn issues.  I was scared it might not be due to all of the ibuprophen I have to take for my back pain.  Some of the staples came out from the previous surgery but some of them were still there.  Not enough to keep the food passing through though.  I have been really scared 'cause I know it is going to be hard and painful but in the end I will be happy that I did it.  I am excited and I want it to be here now!