Thursday, January 22, 2009

Jan 22, 2009

Hello everyone!

Well, it has been awhile since I have updated.  Alot has been happening in our lives and I am still trying to come out of the fog.

We had a wonderful Christmas holiday and New Years with our families.  I was so looking forward to what the Ne Year would hold for me.  New Years day we went to Gettysburg and spent the day with my parents.  Then at 4:30 am on Saturday, January 3, we got a phone call that my mother had passed away.  It was unexpected so the shock still hasn't worn off.  From that point on we have been doing what we have to in order to get through.  I am happy that she's been promoted to glory and is no longer suffering.  Her quality of life was going downhill.  So while I am glad for those things, I still can't quite grasp that she is gone.  I am so glad that I returned back to the area in 2001 after 17 years in Texas and had the time with her that I did.  I just plain miss her and I guess it is now in going through the routines of daily life that it seems surreal that she is gone.  It is hard to imagine that this awful feeling in the deep depths of my heart will ever get better.   Her great grandchildren were such a joy to her and that she won't see them grow up just seems to be unfair somehow.  Anyway, she passed away at her home in my father's arms and I can only imagine what he feels as they had been married over 60 years.  I am trying to spend time with him each week and tending to business.  Sigh*

I am sooooo glad that she lived long enough to see me thin.  If you've been with me along this whole journey you will remember that I held off telling her of the decision to have surgery because my weight had always been a sore spot between the two of us.  After she found out she was one of my biggest supporters and was so genuinely happy for Dave and I.  It is my desire to make sure that I stay on track with maintaining my weight as a tribute to her. 

I have avoided the scales at all cost.  I made myself weigh in at the beginning of the year and had gained three pounds over the holidays.  I went from 137 to 140 pounds.  Then with Mother passing away I totally fell off the band wagon.  Finally this morning I forced myself back on the scale and was relieved to see that I was at 138.  I still want to get back to 137 so surely I can knock off that pound in the next week.  Overall in light of everything that has been happening on a personal level, I am lucky that the scales didn't scream I had twenty pounds to drop off!  That would have been a hard pill to swallow!!!

I am sorry that I haven't posted in awhile but I honestly thought about it many times and even signed on to do it but just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I didn't want to post how I was really feeling with everything that was going on and yet I didn't have it in me to be "joyful" so I just avoided updating.  I am sorry. 

I will try to get some recent pictures posted over this next week.  I would love to hear how you all are doing and hopefully now the new year will turn around for me and I can get back to regular postings.

Take care......Robin

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About Me
Enola, PA
Location
20.2
BMI
RNY
Surgery
11/02/2007
Surgery Date
Aug 21, 2007
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