This may be confusing as I'm just writing what I can remember. lol.. Its 630am so Forgive me if you have no idea what I'm talking about.. but I'm sure you'll get the jist of my life story..
I was never a "skinny" girl, well actually I was when I was 5... everyone would call me Skinny Bones and My mother even took me to a Dr to get me medicine to MAKE ME EAT .. Omg can you imagine having to take medicine to eat.. well I did and I think it JUST took effect when I turned 18..lol.. Anyway, I weighed about 140 all thru high school and after I graduated, I got pregnant and gained over 100lbs trying to "HIDE" My pregnancy from my parents since I wasn't married . I did get married but by then had gained over 100lbs. After the baby was born I lost about 8lbs 14oz..the size of my son..lol.. I tried so many diets trying to get it off but everytime I would lost 10lbs, I would gain 20 back. And then of course I got pregnant 2 more times which didn't help lose the weight but at least for the next 2 pregnancies I didn't gain as much weight but could never lose it either. I stayed around the 240 mark for many years, trying all sorts of diets, drink mixes, pills, etc and it would take off a few lbs but always putting back more.
I found out I had a hypothyroidism in1980 but the same reason I had 3 kids was the same reason I couldn't lose weight, I hated taking pills. So I never took my thyroid pill and kept gaining weight even though I was eating less & less.
That's when I became disabled. Just what I needed, to be stuck in a wheelchair unable to move and get exercise. So I sat home, didn't take my thyroid pills so my body's metabolism was slowing down even more and the more I ate (or didn't eat) the more weight I gained. I was probably up to 300lbs by now (1991) and unable to do much of anything but sit in a wheelchair, eat and sleep. Thank God my husband was a saint and didn't mind my weight (or so he said) but I know if it bothered me, It bothered him. I had over 20 operations on my leg and needed crutches to walk. NO I am not diabetic, but I still wasn't taking my thyroid pills on a daily basis. I would take them but then forget for a few days and then take them. Everyone said to me IF I could take a pill and lose weight, I would take the pill. But I didn't see it like that.. I saw it as a rebellion against my mother who yelled at me to take my pills everyday and I woudlnt' just to get even with her.. Well I certainly showed her didn't I? I was the one who was miserable at 300lbs.. I know she only meant well but I didn't take it as that .. I took it as if she was trying to control me and I wasn't going to be controlled by her. SO I didnt' take my pills and kept gaining weight. During this time my husband got very sick. He was terminally ill and didn't want to die in the hospital so I took him home and took care of him the best I could even though I was on crutches and in a wheelchair. I did get help with home health aides but the stress of a dying husband and me still with a wide open hole in my leg that needed more operations, I ate and ate. My husband passed away and I was now alone in the house. Scared, Lonely and Disabled. I would eat but I wouldnt' eat alot. I just ate the wrong stuff at the wrong times. My best time to eat was at night while watching tv. I would eat a whole bag of pretzels saying Well pretzels are good and you can't gain weight eating pretzels or I would eat BOXES of Devil Dogs saying to myself this is the last box but of course I would go to the store and by 2 boxes. and eat them by myself. 6 yrs after my husbands death, I was up to 400lbs. I was alone, fat & miserable. I didn't have any close friends as I always spent all my time with my husband and didn't work because I was disabled. The only thing I had was my computer. I would go to my parents home everyday for dinner after my husband died.
It was better then having to cook for myself and at least it got me out of the house. My daughter and 2 neices both had Gastric bypass and did well with it so I had thought about having it. I went to 3 different dr's but because I was on crutches Or because I was over 400lbs, Those 3 dr's didn't want to operate on me. SO I gave up and didn't do anything for about 5 yrs after my daughters operation. I wanted the operation but I was scared to get the testing so I put off going to see another dr. Also all the dr's that were doing Weight Loss Surgery, weren't local. Everyone was over a half hour or hour drive so I again put it off.
Finally I saw that a Dr from North Jersey had office hours in South Jersey (where I Live) and so I made an appt.
Dr Bilof spent over an hour with me and when he said he would operate on me.. I CRIED.. I was ready and I wanted to do it then but of course I had to have an endoscopy, a pulmonary test, a sleep apnea test, a chemical stress test and a vena cava filter inserted BEFORE I could be operated on AND I had to pass those tests or at least have nothing seriously wrong with the results. Well I was scared to have the endoscopy because I had one of those tests years ago and woke up in the middle of it and pulled out the tubes so I was scared. To Top it off the day of the test we had a HUGE Snow storm and In the middle of the storm I went for my test.. It wasn't bad..I was scared to death but It went well and It wasn't bad.. I even got to bring a picture home of my throat, and stomach. I did have gastritis but nothing that couldn't be healed with Nexium or Prevacid. So I started taking the meds and that was 1 test down, 3 more to go. Next was the Chemical stress test. First they tell you, that the test is 5-7 hours so bring a lunch.. Ahh Ok but I wasn't going to sit & eat infront of people. Just what I needed, people to see me eat. I'm a FAT person and I wasn't going to sit & eat infront of anyone. so I didn't eat. I just brought a drink and OMG I was STARVING.. so needless to say My First stop after the test was Burger King. I was scared to death to get this test but again it wasn't so bad..
The worse part of the chemical stress test was the metalic taste I got in my mouth when I was injected with the medicine.
2 tests down, 2 more to go. Next was my pulmonary tests. I passed that with flying colors (I Never smoked so my lungs should be clear) but This guy wanted me to go for a sleep apnea test. Grrrr .. Well after waiting 3 weeks for an appt for this test,
I went to the "office" at 9pm and they hooked me up to all these electrodes all over my head and face and legs and arm, and then they stick this thing up your nose to monitor your breathing. Then they tell you to "SLEEP" .. HAHAHAHAA.. I couldn't sleep and it took me a long time to fall asleep. I did fall asleep but woke up about 3 times because I had to go to the bathroom. Each time I had to call for help so they could disconnect me from the machine so I could go to the bathroom. Well I finally fell asleep and they got some good info about the way I sleep but I didn't have sleep apnea which shocked me because when my husband was alive he would wake me because he said I stopped breathing in my sleep so I assumed I had it but NOPE.. not according to the tests. SO that was 3 tests down, 1 to go. This one I was scared of since I had to go to the Operating room for this.
I had to get the vena cava filter inserted as a precaution because of my weight and my BMI not to mention I was on crutches still and unable to walk around like normal people would have, I had to get this filter put in. (Its an umbrella type object that's inserted thru the groin into the main vein or artery to prevent blood clots from getting to your heart or lungs) . My surgery was schedueled for 2pm meaning NOTHING to eat or drink after midnite which was a LONG time .. the drinking part was the hardest, Not so much for the eating part since the night time was my time to eat. As I said my surgery was schedueled for 2pm but I didn't get to the OR until 530pm since the person before me had a problem and the dr had no choice but to stay with him/her and finish the surgery. I was upset because as I said I hadn't eaten or drank anything since before midnite the night prior and I was VERY Thirsty. I couldn't even get ice chips to wet my whistle .. It stunk and I was ready to say Forget it.. I was nervous as it was because I'm NOT good with operations having had over 20 on my legs. Well I finally got to the OR and had my vena cava filter put in and all went well. All the testing & procedures were now finished and I could Finally get a date for my surgery. WOW.. I was excited. March 31st was my surgery date. My sister came up from North Carolina and were going to take off but I said No .. its not that big a deal and I was fine, Plus I didn't want them there because I would have been more upset to go Under anethesia with my children there to say goodbye too.. I always worry I'm not going to wake up and I didn't want my children there incase something happened so My Sister was there and It was fine as she kept them up to date what was going on. Well Again my surgery was schedueled for 2pm only this time they took me at 1:30pm I was SCARED but KNEW I was doing the right thing.. I had waited years for this to be done and now it was coming true. My NEW Life was starting.
I got out of surgery and was in my room when I had to go to the bathroom so I got my crutches and walked to the bathroom, I didn't have much pain at all. Actually I only used the morphine drip for the first few hours and then never used it again. I didn't need it and was up walking the halls on day 1 (after sugery) .. It helped getting rid of the Air that was pumped into my stomach during the laproscopic surgery. My First Meal was a cup of decaf tea (which I LOVE TEA so didn't mind), low fat milk and chilcen broth. It was pretty good. Actually ANYTHING was good since I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnite the day before. I was Glad the surgery was over but now the HARD WORK begins.. If ANYONE says I took the easy way out.. they're CRAZY.. this Definately is NOT an Easy Way out.. Reading labels and figuring out what to eat is Work.
Also remembering that anything with sugar is a BIG NO NO.. I DON'T want to Dump EVER so I'm very careful what I put in my mouth. I'm still learning how to eat and what to eat but the most important thing and I'm still unable to get enough in as I can't find something that doesn't taste bad. If I eat or drink something that just doesn't taste or smell correct, It comes up so hard for me to find Protein drinks or Powders that don't taste or smell so bad .It
Anyway I'm Down 55lbs in 6 weeks. I'm also still on crutches but I DO try to walk as much as I can but its hard on crutches.
I'm also waiting for my scholarship to be approved to the YMCA so I can get in the pool and start getting some exercise again.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
