big lower body.

Aug 06, 2016

I feel defeated. I feel like I'm so odd shaped. My lower half is so much bigger than my upper half. So scared that i have circulation problems. I do have varicose veins. When I exercise I concentrate on lower body with no help.I stated a fluid pill and loss 20 lbs in a week. That scares me to death. It seems like if I solve one problem two come. I just want to be healthy and lose weight. But I feel like the reason why I'm stalling so bad is because of my lower half. Help!!! has anyone else been through this. makes me regret having surgery.

1 comment

Still on baby food.

Dec 06, 2015

So im so ready to chew food. Been looking for food i can tolerate and like. This week the lord gave me a little insight. I stopped worrying and i google. So i found those apple sauce with fruits and veggies. Not for the protein to help me with the urge for cookies cakes and candies. I have fell in love with crab and fish. The meat is so tender that it doesnt bother me. I do also dip it. I just need a different taste. Hope i am not doing bad



Dec 01, 2015

Can someone please help me before I get depressed. I don;t know if I'm doing something wrong. I had my surgery on Nov 9th and after 2 weeks I lost 22 lbs. I have stayed the same since Nov 23. Is this normal to stall for over a week. Am I not exercising enough or am I eating the wrong food. This was my last chance at a beeter life and I dont want to mess this up? I dont know what to do. I should of never got on that scale this morning.


Fat mind

Nov 23, 2015

So my fat mind is trying to take over but my new stomach said HE** No. I only wanted to try one more bite and then when it felt like a lump in my throat I had the nerve to drink something. Well after about ten minutesof feeling uncomfortable I threw it all up. 1point for stomach 0 points for mind. Today makes 2 weeks post op and I'm stilling learning. I have to get these times packed down so I can continue to lose weight. As my Doctor said no fuel no weight loss. Man, 4 week of puree foods. And Thanksgiving is Thursday.  But she did tell me about pinterest who had a lot of different puree ideas. Thought I was going to die at my cook out saturday I truly wasn't hungry but my mind said try it. I felt like I was at a crack head convention and I just got off crack 2 weeks ago. (I found a weird way to compare food LOL). But I just wanted it cause I saw it. But my stomach couldnt handle it. As of today I lost 22 lbs. I'm in a better place. The crying is over. Wishing I never done this is getting better. Truthfully I refuse to be the person I was 2 weeks ago. I'm ready for the new me..... I want to ride a horse, airplane, rollercoaster, for my husband to carry me. So you know tonight I'm going to enjoy my soup cause this is not going to be like this forever and even though I can't enjoy the food for thanksgiving, christmas is coming up and I'm okay with that. :)

1 comment


Nov 15, 2015

So does anyone have any idea for the strict liquid diet. Starting to hate it


In denial....

Nov 12, 2015

So I was in some super denial for pain factor here. I had 3 c-sections and said this is going to be a piece of cake. So very wrong. Pain and being neasous I felt like I was going to die. The second day was the worse. I cried cause my body couldnt make up its mind. I prayed so hard for the lord to help me. But when morning came and the changed my pain med everything else started to fall in place. I'm home now. Sore as crap. I still sit here and wonder why in the hell did I do. Each day is getting better and more tolerable. Word of advice learning from my experience get biotene spray since you cant have anything in your mouth for 24 hours, abdominal waist worked miracles.

1 comment

4 days left in need of advice.

Nov 05, 2015

Okay I have no self control. How the hell am I going to make it with this surgery. I can't even make it two weeks on this diet. Does this mean I'm not ready? Someone please help... I have been trying but my fat mind keeps taking over. I'm so depressed. I dont want to be cut open. You would think that would encourage me but its not. I just need advice. I dont want to feel like an failure but I do.


1 week to go.

Nov 02, 2015

I remember being jealous when people wrote how long they had left. But im thank God for how far i grown. I get to care of some unfinished business before i go in. I was denied back in 2011 but you know how God say everything happens for a reason. Well it does. In that time i had 2 more wonderful children and my marriage has grown. It would not have made it if i did it before. OK..... With all that being said i get to have surgery next monday. I did my pre op today. Just waiting on the time. Will post back  Friday......


Less than 2 weeks

Oct 27, 2015

I'm so upset, I have less than 2 weeks to do my surgery and I feel that my fat mind has taken over. How can I make it if I am having a hard time to do my two week diet. So sad. I'm not going to stop trying. I have to make it. Nov 9th people. I'm going to do this for me and no one else.


Finally approved

Oct 11, 2015

So I have my date approved. For anyone who was curious about NCBCBS I got mine approved in 4 days. Talk about screaming to GOD a wonderful thank you. Now the excitment is gone and I'm scared. I cant have surgery and expect the urgeries will be gone forever. Why do I have to have this. I try and try and now i have to ruin my body for this. Dont get me wrong I want to live on and be healthy but when do you finally say enough is enough. When your knee hurt, scale says 436, cant fit into anything or when you finally look in the mirror. I looked in the mirror at myself and didnt say dag I'm fat but OMG look at me. Is this how people see me? I'm finaaly able to match the number on the scale with the mirror. I'm doing this for me.

1 comment

About Me
clinton, NC
Surgery Date
Apr 16, 2012
Member Since

Friends 9

Latest Blog 14