Weight Loss Survey Responses

The following are Roberta M.'s responses to the Weight Loss Survey:

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I was definitely on a yo-yo. I took every diet pill available and wouldn't eat while on them. I tried Jenny Craig, weight watchers, exercise, Susan Powers, Richard Simmons, but it is all about will-power and if I had any I would not have been overweight to begin with. I was definitely a food-aholic. I ate happy, sad, excited,whatever,I just liked to eat, and then hated myself for it. 04/27/06 I regained 92 lbs out of the 185 I lost following my Open VGB. I hated myself even more at 292 than I did at 385, how could I go through all that pain,risk, etc and just allow myself to fail again? I was an absolute basket case, I realize now I was also depressed, which just led me to overeat even more. Why bother watching what I ate when every bite of it just ended up in fat anyways?

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

People looking at you like you have a disease or worse still looking at you with hate, because you can't control yourself or your weight. People are not tolerant and would never let their children say rude things to elderly people or people of other ethnic backgrounds just because of being different but find nothing wrong with " hey Mommy look at the fat lady!!!". It is embarrassing to not be able to sit comfortably in a booth or a movie seat and it makes your friends uncomfortable when they realize what is going on, but don't know how to correct it for you. People are sympathetic to recovering alcoholics, ex-smokers and recovering drug addicts, but how about recovering food-addicts? No sir. I have heard everything imaginable and then some. I still do. Yet, once you start on the road to recovery from drugs, alcohol or cigarettes the easiest way to avoid "back sliding" is to avoid your addiction. How do you do that as a Food Addict? 04/27/06 Well, if I thought people were critical before, it was even worse after I regained. People would think nothing of saying "So the surgery didn't work?" or would look at me with pity "Poor Bert, after all she has been through she still isn't fit". Once again I would have to step out of line at Kennywood,the safety harnesses wouldn't fit me, how embarrassing!!! Once again I was having trouble walking, even more so, since I fell roller skating (before I started regaining) and subsequently found out that I had relatively severe arthritis in my knees, and the added weight sure wasn't helping.

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I saw an ad on Tv for LiteLife, I was skeptical at first and then curious and then scared to death. But now I am very, very grateful for them. 04/27/06 I came here for help,reassurance and support. It is here, through obesityhelp.com that I researched "revision" surgery and learned that there WAS hope, even for a failure like me.

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

I had no problem getting approval, I let the LiteLife program personnel take care of it , but I think my family and personal history spoke for itself. 04/27/06 Once again obtaining approval was no problem, the surgeon felt that it was partly due to the fact that I was back with the same insurance company that had approved the initial VGB. I know, in my heart, that it was mainly due to my family health history, my poor, dear, sweet mother had just passed away after learning that she had lymphoma, this on top of all of her other health issues was more than she could handle. Having 2 parents that died from heart disease,with congestive heart failure, strokes and vascular disease....well...I hate to say it, in this case was a plus.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

I didn't meet the surgeon till I had undergone psychiatric evaluation to be sure I was able to handle the changes, and to be sure I was truly doing this for the right reasons ( that I knew it was a lifetime change not a quick fix) 04/27/06 I instantly loved Dr Patel, he was upfront & forthcoming. He did not beat around the bush. He laid it on the line, the chance of failure was far greater for me than for someone undergoing this procedure for the first time. He also made it clear to Darcy and I that there was a 30% greater chance of death than if I was undergoing this for the first time (add that to the fact that I was also 8 years older than the first time). He also told me that the failure was not mine, that the surgery had failed me. I made sure that I wrote down any questions that I had so that I would be sure to get them answered.I also made sure that Darcy asked questions, in her own words and made sure that she understood what he was telling us. You have to go in with an open mind, take a notebook. I still refer to things I wrote down that day & at subsequent meetings. It is impossible to remember everything you wanted to ask, so WRITE THINGS DOWN!!!!!

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

385 pounds made me decide, I never was a fat child. Iwas always active and wanted to be again, I wanted to ride horses, dance, play ball,tennis whatever, sit with my guitar comfortably and go to movies without getting seat marks on my thighs. I wanted my life back and now I have it. Also, my mother has severe arterial disease that I was developing, causing leg pain, and I didn't want to end up where she is at such a young age. I know that this can help prevent it or at least reduce the severity. 04/27/06 Knowing that I needed (at age 46) to have knee replacement surgery. I know that the recovery and rehab is hard enough on an average sized person, but on someone who is 160 lbs overweight it would be near impossible. I also dreaded getting dressed. The day I first got back into a pair of jeans I swore I would NEVER put on a pair of stretch pants again and here I was not only wearing stretch pants, but unable to locate regular pants that would fit me. I hated the way I looked, when I gain weight I look and feel tired ALL the time.

How did you decide which procedure to have?

I thought the bypass was too invasive and I know several people who had it. They had to have it reversed because they developed severe dumping syndrome. I didn't want that, the laproscopic version of banded gastroplasty wasn't available or I might have waited ( although I don't know if I could have waited) 04/27/06 I had already had a VGB, Dr Patel told me there was only 1 surgeon in our area who still performed the VGB, but I knew from past experience that I needed something that would cause me to have negative consequences. Just reducing the quantity I was able to take in was not enough. I needed the dumping and spins to make me WANT to stick with it. I had learned to outeat my surgery, my stomach was still no larger than the size of my thumb, but I was able to take in extremely large amounts of calories. I had learned to eat VERY slowly, I would take 2-3 hours to eat a meal, I realize now that I had learned my lesson too well. I needed something that forced me to stick with it.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

The normal fears, all surgery is risky ( even tonsillectomies). I work in the health field and know that no surgery is entirely risk free, but I had to do what I had to do. I even went clear to Tucson Arizona from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania ALONE to have this surgery, I was afraid and lonely but that only lasted the 10 days I was there. 10 days compared to the rest of my life was a small price to pay. Of course, I heard all the standard arguments before I left (don't you think this is a little drastic, you could die, what if it doesn't work) but I had already researched it for months before I told anyone I was even thinking about it. 04/27/06 The normal fears, again knowing that no procedure is 100% safe, add to that the knowledge that I was having surgery in the hospital where my beloved mother had spent her last 2 weeks. It also didn't help that almost exactly a year earlier, a dear friend who was about the same age as me, died 5 days following the exact same procedure I was about to undergo.Here I was 8 years older, although I kept telling Darcy "I bounce back very quickly" and even though at the time it didn't seem like I did, well.....I did. Luckily I have had no complications and I seem to be keeping right on par with others who had their surgery at the same time (people having it for the first time). Someone told me, the first time round, that they would be worried if I wasn't afraid. This is major surgery and there are so many things that could,and sometimes do, go wrong. Keep your faith in God and your surgeon. Keep your chin up and know that you are doing this for YOU, not for your husband/wife, kids, parents or anyone else out there, this is for YOU. For once in your life, be a little selfish and put yourself first. If you don't take care of yourself who will take care of all those other people you love?

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My friends and family were very supportive, very nervous and very worried but extremely supportive. My co-workers called me daily and when I went back to work kept a very close eye on me. I don't think I could have handled things any differently or had a better group of friends. 04/27/06 Darcy was awesome through the whole thing, she asked lots of questions and expressed her concerns. She knew that even though I considered her feelings and worries I also had to do what I thought was best for me and ultimately best for us. I am way too young to think about spending my life in a wheelchair. She is now having a hard time dealing with the fact that I am losing and she is not. She tells me, every now and then, that she isn't as lucky as me, that she isn't a candidate for the surgery. I know she is happy for me, but it hurts me to see her hurting.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

I told them every thing and they were very happy for me. I was off work for 6 weeks( I was allowed 8 but only had sick time for 6). but my employer and supervisor worked with me to allow me "light duty" for my first 2 weeks back to work. 04/27/06 Once again, I was very fortunate. I had only been at my new job for a little over a year. My boss was not thrilled with the timing, wanted me to wait 'til everyone was through with vacations, but I work in a hospital and there is NEVER a good time to take time off, esp 6 weeks worth. Once she came to terms with the fact that I needed to do this NOW (my surgeons exact words) she was terrific. I came back to work after 6 weeks and once again, my coworkers were great about keeping an eye on me and being sure I didn't have to do any heavy lifting for another few weeks, in fact, I had a tough time convincing them I was allowed to lift anything. Everyone has been so supportive, they don't remind me daily but occassionally someone will look at me and say "Bert, I forgot to tell you how good you look." Makes me feel great!!!!

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

Long! I was in the hospital for 7 days. The most important thing to bring is a sense of humor. I didn't do much but sleep for the first 2 days (sleep and walk those halls.)Bring slippers so you can walk and your own bath robe (cover that butt) 04/27/06 This time I was only in for 3 days, I made them let me go home. The care was great but there is no place like home, I was so worried about my dogs and cats. I have to reiterate, bring a sense of humor. I also took my own blanket and a body pillow from my bed. Darcy bought me a stuffed gorilla to sleep with, it really made me feel better. An alarm clock, I hate not knowing what time it is. Everyone told me to take chapstick, I took vaseline intensive care lip therapy, glad I did. Those days of NPO are rough on your lips, hand lotion too, something that smells good to cover up those hospital smells. Also,be sure you have a Durable Power of Attorney and that everyone who needs to know, does know. A living will too, they both need notarized and to be on file, with your PCP and surgeon and at the hospital. The person you are designating as Power of Attorney needs to have a copy. You can do these on your computer, we got a program at WalMart for about $10 that has wills, POA, Living wills, resumes, etc. The only expense was paper,ink and the notary. I made sure D had a copy and that my brother was aware that she had POA, but she also knew that she needed to make him aware of what was going on, even tho' the decisions were ultimately hers to make. That is also the reason for the Living Will, I laid it out as to what I wanted, feeding tubes, life support etc, so that she wouldn't have to feel guilty about her decision, or wonder what I would want her to do. It was all in black and white.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

NO 04/27/06 Once again the answer is no. The only thing I had was a spot that didn't want to heal (a spot where the staples had popped), just kept it covered with dry gauze. Bradycardia, rapid heartbeat and lightheadedness. Just sit down and put your head down, take in LOTS of fluid.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

I felt tired and exhilerated at the same time. I just called my friends. 04/27/06 Thrilled and scared to death at the same time, remember I had a friend pass away following surgery and they had told me I had a 30% greater chance of dying than others.I got on the 'puter and found lots of support groups. I also, true to form, talked the subject to death and made lists, lots of lists. Things to do, things to buy, things to pack, people to call,etc. Anything to keep my mind busy.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

Expect to be nervous and to answer alot of questions. I had to learn to eat again. There were things that made me sick that had never made me sick before. Expect to throw up, it takes time to realize how much food is enough and what foods are hard for you to eat. But believe me once you learn, it is worth it. 04/27/06 I was tired alot, this is a major trauma for our bodies, so I slept ALOT. It seemed like I was always eating, ok drinking since you come home on clear liquids. I slept on the couch for the first couple of weeks (we have a waterbed) but that first night in my own bed was HEAVEN, you don't realize how comfy your bed is until you can't sleep in it. I found out that I am lactose intolerant (ok so I was before but more so post) the HARD way, lots of dumping. It is such a great feeling to realize that only a couple of spoonfuls of something can fill you up. I also realized that when I was queasy, if I took my Roxicet (liquid painkiller) the nausea went away, just my body's way of telling me I was having pain I guess.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

To Tucson Arizona from Pa, I just went to my PCP 04/27/06 I only had to travel to Pittsburgh, about 40 minutes. I love having my surgeon close and I also have a better PCP this time around.

Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.

I was on NPO for the first 5 days then clear liquids for 3 days then liquids for 6 weeks then soft foods for 6 weeks then 1200 calories for the rest of my life. I can eat pretty much anything that my allergies allow. I just have to avoid fatty foods. I have a hard time with egg whites, although I am now 5 years post-op and have finally been able to eat SOME egg whites. I have also been able (recently) to eat apples and oranges (minus the membrane) something I have truly missed these last 5 years. 04/27/06 I am finding that there are fewer things that give me problems this time than last. I definitely dump with dairy, at least if I have too much, about 8 oz of milk a day is my limit. I can eat all the fat free yogurt and cottage cheese and string cheese that I want, just milk and ice cream cause me to dump. I can tolerate fruit,just not too much at a time, again dumping, and vegetables. I can eat carrots, I couldn't eat carrots following my VGB for at least 5-6 years. Still can't tolerate hard boiled eggs, think I don't chew well enough, but I can cut them up on my salad...that is a great thing I can eat salads, was probably 4-5 years before I ate salad before. Still can't tolerate french fries but that is ok,finding out that they don't taste as good as I remember, also no onion rings, had reached the point where I could eat them before, glad I can't. I have been craving fish, I have hated fish my entire life, but eat it everytime we go out for lunch or dinner.I don't think I have eaten gravy more than 2 times in the last 8 months. I definitely get full really fast, I carry my lunch every night. Will have to watch the munchies tho', can take in alot of calories that way.

What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?

Higher than ever before. 04/27/06 At first I was exhausted and really tired, but then I got bored. I am finally starting to have more energy, walked 1/2 mile downhill to the store the other day (realize that means coming home is 1/2 mile straight up hill) and wasn't tired or winded. Can't wait to go to Kennywood

What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?

I did take a children's chewable multivitamin, but I am allergic to something in them so I don't take anthing I just try to eat and drink well. Recently I started taking One-A-Day weight loss formula and it helps tremendously. 04/27/06 Still looking for the perfect vitamin for me, taking 1 liquid multi (going to change that soon), 2 Bcomplex,1 Hemaplex (multi with EXTRA iron), 4 Calcium magnesium citrate, 2 colace, 1 zinc,1 potassium, 1 Fish oil/Borage/FlaxSeed, 2 New Hair Formula Vitamin.

What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?

hair loss. I had no dumping syndrome. I was getting my hair back with in 6 months, after I realized I needed some fat in my diet. It is unhealthy to eat a completely fat-free diet. Then I discovered the miracle of a little peanut butter almost daily. 04/27/06 Still dumping but glad of it, get the "spins" sometimes from things that didn't bother me last week. I think it happens mostly when I eat too many carbs. Started losing hair, that is why I take the zinc. Dry skin, I know I am not getting all my fluids in, hopefully, it will be easier now that the weather is warmer.

What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?

The Morphine. It made me feel like Gumbie for probably 2 weeks after. I definitely can not take Morphine, I couldn't sleep on it even. 04/27/06 Darcy not being updated. They told her I would be out of recovery in about 2 hours and sent her up to the floor I would be admitted to. They let her sit there more than 4 hours with no update. When I got to the floor and they asked me how I was feeling, I said "sore". D grabbed my shirt and said "You wanted it, you got it, so suck it up and deal with it" I told her to "Get the F*** out of my room". Later she told me what had happened, they told her that I was complaining of pain, that it was the reason they wouldn't bring me back to my room. I told her that I hadn't even asked for a pain pill until they told me they were taking me to the floor. I said to them "Can I have something for pain now, I know it will be awhile before I can get anything once they get me upstairs". Turns out that they couldn't get my blood pressure under control, they figured it was the pain. Why lie to her? She was already scared to death, sometimes they forget that taking care of the family is as important as taking care of the patient. If the family is unhappy the patient isn't going to do well either.

What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?

NOne, But I do wish I did. I know a few people who have had the surgery since I have and I try to help them if I can. I did, keep in touch for a while with the ladies who went to Tucson with me from this area for the surgery but we all have busy lives. 04/27/06 I have the support of obesityhelp.com and my yahoo support group. Dr Colella has a support group, but it meets on Thurs nights at 6pm in Pitts. It is a 40 minute drive, I work midnight so I would leave my house about 5pm, be at the meeting 'til about 7:30pm get home at 8:30pm just to drive 1/2 way back there for 11pm (I work in Bellevue just about 15 minutes North of Pittsburgh)

What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?

From my breast bone to my belly button. No this is not what I expected but it is ok. 04/27/06 They used the same scar line, I knew they would.

Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.

Every so often I reach a weight plateau but then I just have to figure out what I am doing and change it, I have a ways to go because I keep finding ways to sabotage myself but then I find a way to overcome it. It is now 5 years post-op and I have reached a plateau, in fact I have gained 20 pounds. I started being able to eat foods I couldn't eat before (of course getting help with my GERD and ulcer and hiatal hernia has helped tremendously) and rediscovered my old addiction FOOD. I just have to remember what it was like to be FAT. 400 pounds is no fun no matter how much I like food. 04/27/06 Still too soon for much of a plateau, I just need to exercise and it will drop right off.

Do you notice people treating you any differently now?

Yes definitely, but I just ignore them, I am the same person on the inside and if you didn't like me before you sure aren't going to like me now. Because now I like myself and don't give a hoot about them or their attitudes. 04/27/06 People quit staring at me, but I still feel the same. I keep thinking I am going to look in that mirror and see the same ol' fat Bert

What things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Walking, going to movies, going to the amusement parks and not standing out in a crowd (unless I want to) 04/27/06 Walking. Can't wait to go back to Kennywood. I also like clothes shopping, well....sort of....still hate having to change my clothes.....but sure is nice to fit into the dressing room and not touch all the walls when trying to change clothes.