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Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here. Sadly, the rest of my weight loss journey came to a screaching halt and all those lost pounds found their way back to me and they brought friends. It's been almost 3 1/2 years since I hade my surgery and I never did hit my target weight. But, my family and I have moved back to our home town, everyone is settled into school and work. I've gotten started with a new doctor and thought I'd pick up where I left off and get these pounds marching away. Not so. It turns out my band had no fluid in it...NONE!! I knew it may be the case as I can eat anything and everything. My new doc gave me a 2 cc fill and wanted to see me 3 weeks later to see if there was any left. There was none. So, I  have a leak somewhere. I go Friday for an upper endoscopy to see if the band is leaking and if I have any erosion. If not, he said the most common place is the port. A miss with a fill and they can puncture the tubing. Either way, I know I'm having surgery. I hope and pray that it's the port...easier surgery, quick recovery. I'm trying to stay optimistic and look at this as a chance to start over fresh and go all the way. I was doing so well. But, I learned I need the support of a support group to help keep the journey in the front of my mind...always conscious. I'll have to update what I learn after Friday....never had an upper endoscopy before and I have to admit I'm a little scared.

Well, it's been a lot longer than 3 weeks hasn't it? The sad thing is, those 18's still fit! I've been really struggling the past few months with some personal challenges-weight included. But, here I am; ready to get back on the band wagon. I know this works; I've seen it. I just need to get my head back in the game. You see, the band doesn't know what you put in your mouth. That part is up to you. If you don't make the best choices, you don't lose. And the hard part, those evil carbohydrates go down the easiest. Especially when you don't feel like you can eat. These past few months have taught me that no matter how well I thought I was doing; no matter how much control I thought I was in; it could be undone easily. I am a major stress eater! The damage is done before I even realize what I've done. So, here's my new plan...visit this site daily and post my thoughts (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and food choices. I will apologize a head of time if you visit this profile and it seems too long or annoying, but this is a tool for me and I need to hold myself accountable. So, you may want to skip me for a while, but do come back and check on my progress.

If you are considering the band please understand that it is merely a tool and that you still have to be the pilot. You can't just assume it will do it all for you. Those chips, cookies, ice cream..they still go down so easily and taste just as good. The thing you have to keep ever present at the front of your mind is to decide, "Is it worth it?" It's easy to forget and neglect, but you are in charge of your journey and you have to make those decisions. I've been on automatic pilot for quite a while now. I haven't missed a doctor's appointment, but the weight has been creeping on a pound or two at a time. My addiction to food is stronger than I ever imagined. I really have to stay on top of this to be successful. Now, on the other side, I've only gained 5 lbs. Any other crisis or holiday season, it would have been 10 to 20. For that, I thank my band. But, I have to stop it now! I would make the decision to have the band again in a heart beat. Even when I feel I don't really have much restriction the band is doing it's job. I'm not as hungry; I can go longer between meals; I don't need snacks; I am satisfied with a smaller amount of food. Oh, there's another misconception-the amount of food you can eat. I spent a few years researching the band, and everywhere I read that you'd be satisfied with about 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food. Not really; I can eat quite a bit more, but not nearly as much as before. I have 12.5 ccs in my 14 cc band and I can eat more than a cup of food. Again, I'm in charge and I decide when enough is enough. I control the quantity by eating slowly and keeping the length of time eating to 15-20 min per meal. Even though I may stop before I feel full, in about 5 min. from when I stop I feel full and that feeling lasts anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. In no way do I consider myself a band guru, merely a continuing education student . But I will share what I learn and my own personal experience. If you find it helpful in anyway, that's great. If you think I can answer any questions for you, I'd be happy to try.

Well, this is really long. Catching up can do that I guess. I will be back tomorrow. I have to. Here's to starting over!

It's so hard to believe...only 12 hours to go! At 7:30 tomorrow morning I'll be in surgery. I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 a.m. The hospital is an hour away so my husband and I will head out around 4:30. Good thing all I have to do is go back to sleep...LOL. 

I will begin the next chapter in my journey to a healthier, happier, thinner me. I can't help but appreciate this wonderful opportunity. I am going to do my best to do all that is required for the best possible results. I'm not really too scared, just anxious and a little nervous about whether what I've done in preparation will be enough for my doctor to be able to perform the surgery with the least amount of risk. I have to be at peace that I have done all I can do and that was the best I could do. 

Yesterday, I began my first day of liquids. And, took my son on his safety patrol field trip to Universal Studios. I was wondering how difficult it would be. It turned out just fine. We had a great day and I was not tempted by food at all. I just bought water bottles and brought along the little Crystal Light packets. Today, however, was a little more difficult. I had a few rumbles in my tummy which I met with more water. I had chicken broth and a sugar-free popsicle for dinner and will have a little more water before I have to call it a night. All in all, not horrible, I'm glad I passed the test. I know the liquid days ahead will become increasingly difficult, but at least it's short lived.

To all my fellow bandsters: I can't wait to join you. It's not an easy battle but we can win together. Please make room on the loser's bench for one more!

To my OH friends: Thank you so much for all the inspiration, support, and wealth of information.

The next time I check-in, I'll be on the losing side!

Only 18 more days and I'll have my band. I'm getting so excited. I've really been working on the carb addiction and am making some good progress. Now I just need to conquer the water. Next Wednesday is my pre-op. I hope my loss is enough and I can lose maybe another 7 lbs between now and surgery day. I feel so much better already. Not great bursts of energy just a little more comfortable and clothes are fitting a bit better.

I can really see I'll have to tap into some creativity when it comes to food. I think if I keep trying new things I won't get bored and really miss all the things I can't or shouldn't eat. I want to find a really good low carb cookbook. It would be really good for the whole family. 

I just wanted to put some thoughts down. I'll update again after my pre-op. 

Kim-you got your band today. Congrats! Hope you're doing well. 

Thanks to all my OH friends for your continued support and encouragement!