greenpunchbuggie

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ok, so i KNOW my doctors have told me that this is a "lifestyle change", and consciously i know it is.  i know i will NOT get to live life as a "thin person" unless i make changes.  of course i didn't "not believe" that i would need to change forever.  it's obviously true-- if i make poor food choices and do not exercise i will NOT finish losing and i will gain all of my weight back.  i know this.  but i didn't FEEL it in my heart until last night.

i went to the gym and then came home and i was hanging with my dog and i was talking to a friend and it just HIT me.  this isn't something i'm doing "until i lose weight".  it's something i'm doing forever.  i'm going to be going to the gym FOREVER.  i'm going to plan my foods and keep away from fatty carby stuff and... well this is just HOW i am going to live.  it MUST be.  i wasn't resigning myself to that fact.  it's something i WANT.  i WANT to be someone who eats right and exercises.  it's not a punishment.  it's the person i aspire to be.  it's the person i WANT to be!!!

i'm disapointed because of how wanky this site can be.  people are really mean to each other.  granted, i've probably posted comments that weren't posted with the utmost sensitivity but people calling each other ugly and referring to others as "train wrecks" is NOT the goal of a support site.  i post my experiences based on what has happened to me.  while i do not claim to be an expert in the field of bariatric medicine, i DO trust that my surgeon knows what he's talking about and if he gives me a plan of action i am going to follow it.  and i am going to be honest and report on it.  if that makes me an ignorant train wreck idiot, well, then i guess i am.  i'm going to listen to someone with an advanced medical degree and a history of performing surgery before i'm going to listen to someone without.  i'm going to look up numbers and read and calculate rather than simply listen to a website rumor mill.  and i'm going to follow my own body. 

i look to the site for support and to try to support others but cutting each other down is NOT the way to go.  i imagine we ALL work hard to get to a reasonable weight and treating each other like crap is NOT supportive.  at all.

sunday was my 5 month "surgiversary".  i have lost 71 lbs since my surgery and 100 lbs from my heaviest weight!!!  i am under 160 lbs.  it is very interesting to think that a mere 9 months ago i had an entire extra PERSON attached to me!!!  i've been very into obtaining pouch-healthy foods, getting in my supplements and protein and trying to work my program as well as possible.  i still have a ways to go until i reach my goal weight (140-ish).  it's really super.

i am very thankful that i am getting a second chance at living the life i would like to live.  no regrets!  :)

I am about 175 lbs these days and feeling great!  i need to exercise more, though.  i have found  i finally weigh less than my boyfriend.

this morning a part time, per diem worker came in for the first time in about 2 months.  when she saw me she didn't realize who i was and let loose with an "OH MY GAWWWWDDD!!!!!!"  it was really cool.  i don't have to be told all the time about how much weight i've lost-- after all, i am of course trying to do so and know i am making progress.  :)  i also have almost NO shorts that fit-- i tried on a pair that i had worn in june and they were ginormous and wouldn't stay up, and even with a belt looked moronic.  YAY!!!!