a realization...

Oct 20, 2009

ok, so i KNOW my doctors have told me that this is a "lifestyle change", and consciously i know it is.  i know i will NOT get to live life as a "thin person" unless i make changes.  of course i didn't "not believe" that i would need to change forever.  it's obviously true-- if i make poor food choices and do not exercise i will NOT finish losing and i will gain all of my weight back.  i know this.  but i didn't FEEL it in my heart until last night.

i went to the gym and then came home and i was hanging with my dog and i was talking to a friend and it just HIT me.  this isn't something i'm doing "until i lose weight".  it's something i'm doing forever.  i'm going to be going to the gym FOREVER.  i'm going to plan my foods and keep away from fatty carby stuff and... well this is just HOW i am going to live.  it MUST be.  i wasn't resigning myself to that fact.  it's something i WANT.  i WANT to be someone who eats right and exercises.  it's not a punishment.  it's the person i aspire to be.  it's the person i WANT to be!!!

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