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So Saturday (June 28th) was my OFFICIAL surgi-versary and how did I celebrate my weight loss (now weighing in at 255 lbs...that's 60lbs down)...well I bought a new car!  Yep...new car.  Traded in my 2003 Chevy Impala for a 2008 Saturn Aura.  My Impala was paid off...but with 85,000 miles (I drove that car off the lot new too)...it was starting to have issues with the sunroof, air conditioner, some weird stalling thing started, shocks and struts...they were issues I would have put up with.  But then Saturn had this 0% financing for 6 years and with my GM discount (I work at a GM plant)...well my payments were absolutely steller...I got an extended warrenty for the length of my loan...well I we (Rich and myself) just couldn't say no!  And let me tell you...what a great piece of mind we both have now that any problem that could occur except breaks, roters, and oil changes...well it's all covered.  So anyways..that's the exciting news for this week!  I"ll have to post a pic of the car later.

So it's been quite some time since my last update.  I am post op just under a two months now and down 53 lbs.  It's so weird...to go and find a pair of jeans from my dresser drawer and not have to lay on the bed to zipper them up...to actually find them big!  LOL...  After being so overweight for so long and to finally begin to shrink is so sureal...did all of this actually happen to me?  LOL...

I also find that I love walking now, especially since my knees don't hurt and I am not getting out of breath when walking up the stairs.  I seem to be handling the heat and humidity better.  Oh sure I still get hot but I am not turning into a sweatball as I have in the past.

My first day back to work was yesterday.  People are amazed with the change.  They all see it...I wish I could see it too when I look in the mirror.  I can feel that I am smaller...I know I'm wearing smaller clothes...but I physically can't see it when I look in the mirror.  I do see a difference though from the November 2003 pic to the pics I posted last night.  

I know I have a long way to go...but I'm learning how to use my new tool.  I love being able to feel full and satisfied.  I am taking everyday 1 day at a time...and I'm thankful to God I am able to enjoy each day more and more.  I am not dreading waking up and crawling out of bed...and I'm not planning my daily activities on when and where and what I will eat...what a nice wonderful awesome feeling to just enjoy the day for what it is...not what I am going to eat that day!

Well Monday morning was the day and here I am Friday feeling pretty good...all things considering.  I was discharged Wednesday evening...and so far things are going down good but slow as expected.  I had som nausea problems Monday night and very early Tuesday morning (when the nurses were helping me get up to walk around a bit...every 4 hours...even in the middle of the night).  But that was due to the after affects of anesthesia and from nitro paste to help lower my blood pressure.  But once that got all regulated it was slow and sore getting up (same now) but felt pretty good to walk around a bit.

I have no stitches...no staples...just super glue!  Yep...I was super glued back together.  The only hole that is not super glued is where my drain tube was...but it's healing super nice.  Not big bruises or lots of funky colors...it's amazing how good...again all things considering...my tummy looks.  I am just really amazes and in awe at not only how well I'm healing but overall how good i feel.  Grant it underware is a bit uncomfy at the moment...but the flannel pants and large t shirts are suiting me just fine as I recoop at home.  Next appointment with doc is 5/14 and on Sunday I get to add Diet Carnation Instant Breakfast shakes to my clear liquids.  Whoo hoo...talk about a splurge!  LOL...

Thanks for the prayers all...and again all I can say is just "wow!"

Well here I am the night before surgery.  I am starting to get just a tad nervous...  But I'm nervous about the unknown and uncertainty of it all.  And I actually feel a bit sad...  I looked down at my tummy in the shower and starting to think "I'm so sorry for what I'm about to have done to you."  It's weird.  I'm at a hotel with my parents and boyfriend (cause the hospital is 1.5 hours away from home)...and I was sitting by the pool with my feet in the water just kinda zoning out...then I started to think about me.  I it was like I was saying goodbye to the Jen that I knew and felt safe with...I was saying goodbye to the girl that used laughter to hide her pain...saying goodbye to the girl that used her weight to hide behind.  Then I started to think about the girl I'm about to become...am I going to act the same?  Am I going to feel the same?  Am I going to love the same and will I be able to be loved the same by others?  

I know I have to do this...I want to live and be healthy and this is the only way left to go about this.  Tomorrow is my new birthday.  Tomorrow is when I start the rest of my life...

I was so thinking I was going to totally gain like 10lbs this past Easter.  But...I was pretty good.  I filled up with proteins durring the day...has some veggies.  And yes I got stuffed at the end of the day (2 houses...2 parties to go to)...I must admit.  I ate moderately light yesterday and went to my water aerobics class, has my regular 32oz water on the drive in to work...2 advantage shakes and 12oz water at work...and a very filling din din...and i'm down 1lb from the last big weigh in!  Suddenly my motivation is perking up a bit again!  Go me!!

Last Thursday (March 20th) I had another appointment...this time with the nursing coordinator with the program.  It was actually more like a class going over a manual we received.  Major topics of discussions were medications...what to bring to the hospital...eating before and after surgery...  It was pretty interesting.  She also pointed out main foods that will have to be avoided...white bread being number one.

We has a weigh-in as well.  I have 10 more lbs to loose...I have to be 295...so that means that I have had a steady weight loss since January...lost a total of 15 lbs.  (I gained after Christmas 5 lbs so I owed him those 5).  I was told that I'm doing good and have nothing to worry about...I'm going to be fine.  She also mentioned that I'm going to drop a bunch of weight the week before when I'm on liquids only.  My goal right now is to lose another 3 - 5 lbs by April 9th...that's the day I go in for my final appointment with doctor before the surgery date and I'm also going to have my pre-op blood work completed as well...

I know that you are not really suppose to check your weight everday...but it's become this obsession for me.  I am so focused on this "lose 20lbs before surgery or else" ordeal that at times that's all I think about.  I suppose it's good to be a hell of a lot more conscious on what I am putting in my mouth and actually give a damn on the reprocussions of eating crap.  But still every morning I step on that scale.

I did hit a bit of a high and stepped on to find that I am down yet another pound!  Finally though I am realizing that yes the 20lbs is attainable.  I have been just so scared that I would not be able to lose the weight...and if the weight din't get lost he would postpone the surgery.  I have been weighting so long for this surgery I think I would just break down and cry if I had to have the surgery date moved...  The 1lb lost really gave me that extra perk...that extra boost I needed.

Well...my lazy butt finally got off the couch and is getting her groove on!  That's right...I'm back at my water aerobics class, religously I might addd!  Three times a week...hour long class at the local YMCA.  I feel really proud of myself.  

And I switch from Slim Fast shakes to Atkins.  Yeah they are kinda bland...but they are filling.  And they keep me pretty satisfied till I get home from work and have dinner.  

I also jumped on the scale today and I'm down!  Finally the scale is moving in the right direction!  Since my last doctors appointment I just came to a screetching hault with the weight loss.  I was staying at 3111-313.  Well today I'm at 308.6!  Go me!  Only 9 more pounds I HAVE  to lose prior to surgery!  (April 28th is the day!)

I have to go out to the clinic Thursday and go to eating class.  We are going to I guess go over all the final details...dotting "i's" and crossing "t's" before the big day.  I am also assuming that they are going to weigh me (I get weight every time I go).  So I"m thinking Wednesday I'm going to practice for my week of Atkins shakes and attempt to go all day just drinking those and not eating any solid food.  Keep ya posted!