Relationship w/ surgeon NEW Question

What kind of relationship do you have with your surgeon?

Is it a very close relationship or is your close relationship with your recommending PCP and the relationship with the surgeon is procedural only?

I am meeting my surgeon (one on one) for the first time next month, about 3 weeks before my surgery. Then I will have preop with him a week before surgery. I met him at one of his seminars back in July and liked him instantly while he was giving his presentation.  My sister and her husband had him as a surgeon (she had RNY and he had lapband) and they recommended him highly to me. Plus his partner did my doctor monitored weight loss program and I did not like HIM much at all.  He seemed so much nicer and had a great bedside manner.

My relationship with my PCP is very close. She met with me for an hour discussion when I was making my decision to pursue the surgery. I also discussed for 2 months with my therapist before making a decision.

I guess I am asking because I'm wondering if I should have as close a relationship with the surgeon as I do with my PCP?
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EDIT

What I meant was how close were you to your surgeon BEFORE your surgery? I recognize that I will become very close AFTER the surgery :)  THANKS!!

The closer the better, as far as I'm concerned.

So often I see bandsters (on OH and in my daily life) who met their surgeon once (some of them saw their surgeon for the first time for about 5 minutes on the day of their surgery), and never again, and who are struggling.  This might not be an issue if your surgeon has a good support staff - nutritionist, PA or NP, education program, aftercare program.  Education and aftercare are crucial to the success of the band.

I think I saw my surgeon 3 times before my surgery, and again on the day of the surgery (his PA discharged me from the hospital the day after surgery).  I have seen him every 4 weeks since then.  I think he's the ideal combination of surgical expertise (he has won awards) and bedside manner, he has a great support staff, thorough education, complete aftercare.  Bedside manner is important to me because I have had some physicians in the past with the personality and compassion of a metal filing cabinet.  I would find it hard to go through WLS and all the lifestyle and physical changes involved with a doctor I couldn't communicate with.

Is my relationship with my bariatric surgeon closer than the one with my PCP?  Maybe, because I see the bariatric guy 12 times a year, and my PCP about 4 times a year.  I love them both, and wouldn't give up either of them.  I also love my GYN, who I only see once a year, and my therapist, who I don't see regularly any more.  I think we all need a good medical team to help us through life's challenges.

It sounds to me like you're getting what we used to call (in my 1960's, flower-child youth) "good vibrations" from your surgeon, and you've gotten some good first-hand recommendations for him.  If you didn't like his partner, can you imagine yourself asking the partner searching questions that might affect your health and success?  Like, "Why am I so hungry all the time?"  or "Why can't I eat solid food?" or "How soon after surgery can I have sex?"

Jean

No I couldn't imagine asking his partner those questions and thankfully I couldn't have him as my surgeon anyways because it represented a conflict of interest for him (i.e. you didn't make it on my doctor monitored weightloss program so now I have to charge you for lapband...oh my what a bad thing for my income).

Actually my experience with the partner was more like I wasn't losing weight on his program, and I had been doing it solid for 8 months.  He told me flat out that he had no idea why I was not losing weight and even suggested that I was the problem and that I wasn't being honest (meanwhile I am thinking "You're right Dr. C. I have paid $2000 out of pocket for this program and food supplements so I can lie to you"). 

I came to find out from the nurse (who is also the nurse for my surgeon and I am VERY close to) that most people don't last more than 3 months in his weight loss program and for me to do a year was a huge accomplishment and that it wasn't my fault.

I have met with my surgeon's nurse MANY times leading up to my decision so I guess I am closer to my surgeon's staff. I know I will have no problem asking my surgeon the questions you suggested.  I have already discussed alot of these with his nurse.

I see my PCP once a year for check ups but I am constantly getting sinus infections so I see her often during the year and she knows all the little idiosynchracies about me.  She was very encouraging for me to pursue banding. I see my therapist once every 2 weeks and she specializes in eating disorders and depression which is also so helpful. Plus I have a gastroenterologist who hopefully I won't need to see much anymore if my hiatal hernia gets fixed.

I think my concern is just that I don't know HIM as well as these other doctors yet but I do know about him and I know one of the key members of his staff very well.  I am comfortable but I guess it is weird that I can be so comfortable with a man I met only once.

Your concerns are valid, but your surgeon sounds pretty good to me.  You could try another surgeon - spend a lot of time evaluating him and his staff and program - and not feel any better afterward.

As for feeling so comfortable with a man you met only once - I don't know your track record.  In my 20's, I felt comfortable with entirely too many man after one meeting (sex - surgery - intimacy - trust - etc, etc.).  Since then, I've become more selective.  My current PCP put me at ease during our first meeting, whereas the previous one put my back up instantly (and got worse after that).  I liked my bariatric surgeon, my therapist, my gastroenterologist, my orthopedic surgeon, my neurologist, and my GYN at our first meeting, and those relationships have only improved over time.

I don't think you're making this decision based only on one meeting.  You've had a good experience with your surgeon's support staff, have gotten good recommendations.

Jean

HAHAHA Jean you are awesome and I would love to meet you someday!

I am 28, so I guess that is why! j/k

This surgeon comes highly recommended from my PCP as well as my therapist.  Also he has down the gastric banding procedure via laproscopy on local television so I have actually SEEN him do a procedure.

I think you hit the nail on the head with this statement :

"I don't think you're making this decision based only on one meeting.  You've had a good experience with your surgeon's support staff, have gotten good recommendations."

I guess looking at these posts and hearing people talk about their surgeons made me rethink how well I know my surgeon.  I was totally comfortable with him until I read more posts. Now that you put it that way, it is true that I have had a great experience with his nurse and the office staff and have gotten great recommendations from people I trust implicitly, like my family and my PCP, therapist.

Thanks for making me feel better! I guess for me, finding out that I am approved and making the decision to continue on this path is causing me to maybe think TOO MUCH on decisions I have already made. I need to trust myself more. I didn't make this decision in a day. It has been coming for about a year now.

Your relationship with your surgeon should be close and if it is not  already then it will once you have surgery.  The times that you saw your surgeon was the amount that I saw mine.  The relationship that me and him have is close and I feel like I can talk to him about anything and he is very caring and always gives me his honest opinions.  

I have a fabulous relationship with my PCP.  He's been my guy for about 10 years now.  My baratric surgeon is a great guy and I definitely got the "good vibrations" from him but I'd say my closer relationship in his office is with his PA.  His PA does all the fills and he's the one who is always available if I have questions.  I echo the above sentiment that the surgeon's support staff is very important.  If you call in or have a problem you'll be talking to one of them.

My relationship with my surgeon is very close. So close that I have his cell phone number and have called him at 3 in the morning when I was having some problems. He's great and WANTS me to call him on his cell if I have complications! (which was only once since my surgery 11/14/07). I met him for the first time when I made an appointment at his office, to find out more on the surgery, he did the consultation with me and one of his nurses who also had the lapband done. Then when I had to go in to sign waivers, for my pre-op, and for any other questions I had before surgery (which was 3 separate occasions) he was there to meet with me and answer any of my questions. He came to see me before I fell asleep for surgery, he was there when I woke and he was there the next day to check up on me. For the last year, I've been going to his office for fills or for general check up, he is always there. I think it's very important to be close to your surgeon.

I've been very blessed to have an awesome surgeon as well as PCP, I see the PCP more often just because I have other health issues. The first 6 months after surgey I saw my surgeon nearly every month, not so often now that I have restriction. However I know he and his staff are only a phone call away should I need them. Both docs are very different my PCP is very out going with a great sense of humor and my surgeon is very quiet and almost shy. I've had lots of surgeons in my day and I think they in general aren't as much people oriented as a general practitioner, maybe that's why they are surgeons so they don't have to chat with the patient as much. Even tho my surgeon is kinda quiet he's a dear man and would do anything for me and he's genuinly interested in my success. He scolded me a little last fill because I hadn't been in for about 6 mos. and I explained that my insurance doesn't cover the band anymore so he said well at least call in every 3 mos. and let me know how you are doing! And if I needed something band related to call him so he could help. So while both relationships are great ones they are different.

I had one surgeon do my lapband surgery and he is who I saw pre-op for my initial consultation, at pre-op a few days before surgery, he saw me before surgery that day, and that next morning also saw me before he discharged me. He works at a teaching hospital and it the senior partner in the bariatric practice and is expert and runs the minimally invasive (laproscopic) surgery center for the hospital so I knew I was getting alot of surgical exertise.
Post op, I was a little let down when he told me that I'd need to choose one of the other two bariatric surgeons as my follow up care surgeon. I selected the younger guy and he's been great. I took a pre-op picture with my surgeon who did the surgery and he was doing my surgery on St. Patrick's Day and I got him a gift card to an Irish restaurant that would be close enough that sometime when he's working long hours, he could go get a nice dinner/drinks. He was shocked at the nice gift and I don't know if a patient had ever done it for him before and he's been a very experienced surgeon and he was just thrilled. 
On my second (follow up care) surgeon, I love his bedside manner and even though he is younger, I feel very confident about his care. He has done 3 of my 4 fills and hit my port within seconds and its been painless. I actually just took a "During" picture with him in the office today at -62 lbs and he's really encouraged but he really questions me about what I'm eating, and especially about what exercise I'm getting.

Sorry, the original question also asked about PCP doc. I have had the same one for more than 20 years now and yes, I really like and trust her but its not a thing where we are best buddies and I don't call her off hours.  She was actually violently opposed when I first approached her 3 years ago about RNY surgery and so when I later decided in 2007 on Lapband, I waited until the last possible time to tell her I was doing it... not a great thing.. but she actually was supportive because it wasn't as invasive of a surgery but I am her first patient to have a lapband so I educate her every time I see her on how its going, what it has involved, etc. and she's been really pleased with how I've done. I kind of feel like I'm paving the way for other patients to have a chance she would tell them about Lapband surgery as an option.


Bottom line, I'm glad I have a local bariatric surgeon (actually 2) that I really trust and it recognizes for me that this is a lifetime commitment I made.