Jealous Boss/Friends?

I think the best way to shut her up is to take her up on her offer.  I mean, do you really care if she is a large or a medium?  Besides, if she wants to give you her scrubs that will save you from having to spend money to buy new ones for yourself while you are on your way down to a medium and she will have to spend the money to buy herself new scrubs.  Also, then when you get to a medium, you can offer to give her your old large scrubs...her old scrubs back!  That way it will give you a chance to get in the last laugh!  

HATERS GONNA HATE!

Why are women so mean to each other? This thread makes me want to go out and buy some  medium scrub bottoms.

hahahahahaha this literally made me laugh out loud at my desk

LOL!!! i agree with accepting the offer and then giving them back to her later  and getting the last word hehe ;-)

Im pre-op still but I know a few family members and friends that there is totally going to be an issue with. Last time I lost a decent amount there was. Mainly i think it is the whole  thing about becoming the "fat friend" instead of me being it. I plan to just avoid talking about surgery. If they make snide/rude comments however I won't mince words and will let them know I dont appreciate it.

I'm in a great position these days since my kinda boss (mother and I own a business together) is my biggest fan and supporter.  Although there are other existing issues that have nothing to do with her feelings about my weight loss....  But I digress...

When I first read this, my thoughts were that no matter what you do - lose weight, change your hair, get more praise for work, looks what ever - that she is going to be this way.  She is competing with you.  But since she's also your friend, I think there's something a bit deeper there.  

I have found that with friends that everyone gets a label or position in the friendship or group of friends.  I was always "mom" the one they could count on when they got themselves in a pinch.  I was also the chubby one that didn't give them large amounts of competition.  

So now you have gone and made a major life change that is changing almost every aspect of your life.  So she feels threatened for some reason.  Here's what I would do/how I would respond...

Have a heart to heart with her.  Tell her your reasons for having the surgery.  Remind her that your main reason is that you wanted to be healthy (even if it wasn't your reason for having the surgery).  Explain to her that this isn't a competition but you are thrilled that she is changing her eating habits and losing weight too. ~Remember that we want our friends to be happy for us so let's make sure we encourage them too (plus it will probably annoy her).  

As for her passive aggresive comments, turn them around on her.  She probably doesnt' even realize that her comments are hurtful.  Ask her point blank if, as your friend, that she wants you to be unhealthy and continue to be unhappy about your weight.  

Explain to her that you need her help as your friend to get to goal and stay that way.  Afterall as your friend she should want you to be healthy and happy.  Take the scrub bottoms and thank her for her generosity.  Tell her that you would welcome any constructive help that she is willing give you.  But also tell her that you would be happy to help her lose any weight that she needs to lose by giving her tips and recipes that you are getting from your friends here on OH.  Make it clear that she is no better than you because she is losing the weight "the old fashioned way". 

I know these people can be annoying but really the best way to deal with them is to continue to be positive!   

Hope this helps!

I would take the bottoms and be happy with it. Then, when you need mediums, give the large back to her and say, "you can have these back now, I will NEVER need them again, but you might."
Then, go buy yourself some mediums and be happy that you are doing GREAT!!!
Some people just suck and can't be happy for others! They are called HATERS! and they exist to **** us off. Be better than them and be yourself!
Good job on the loss thus far and continued success in the future!
Kelly

I find a dose of humility helps. With my fat friends I tell them how I still struggle with loose skin, head hunger, struggle to eat right and exercise, etc. I tell them all of my fears about not being to get to goal or keep it off.

That way they can see it's not all sunshine and roses. I avoid sharing the positive stuff so they won't be jealous. Like the other poster said, I'd avoid telling her about the good things that are happening for you.. it may feel like you are "rubbing it in" and some people that are already struggling with feelings of jealousy might be activated by this.

I try to be VERY conscious around her of the things that come out of my mouth so she doesn't feel threatened or insecure about herself. but she's SUCH an alpha female (i'm not even joking when I say that 90% of our conversations revolve around her talking about how awesome she is) that I'm starting to think this weight issue is just a catalyst for me to realize all of the different things that are wrong with our "friendship".

There are some people who only feel good when they're putting others beneath them... don't give her the satisfaction.  I agree with the poster above who said avoid the subject, don't let conversations about weight loss happen or else that competitive streak in her is going to flare up.