What WLS?? Starting Over

Ciff Notes: Star WLS patient crashed and going to burn if I don't do something today!!!!!! The story: I'm back because I need some support.  I know how to do this. I even ran my own surgeons online support group for a while.  The problem is I seem to just not do it. I'll make the decision to change behavior and it lasts for a day.  I don't renew that commitment every day when I wake up.. every hour. I need to do that. I need you guys. This is so surreal.  It is like I completely divorced myself from the WLS community and my surgery too.  I think that is my missing component. I can't do this alone.  I need to be back in this community for it to work.  To be reminded that we are a special group of amazing people that do have needs that are different then people that don't have weight loss surgery and food addictions. All my old behaviors are coming back with avengence... snacking, sweets, drinking with food (although that is something I never really got over after the first few months of surgery).  I have not worked out, I eat whatever I want when I want it, forgot all the pouch rules.... FORGOT THE POUCH!   I don't even know what my weight is right now. I've been in denial.    Hell.. I had to look at my WLS page here to figure out what date I had surgery.  I never even did my 2 year I know that my size 8 doesn't fit and that my size 14's do.   Last Summer - I was starting to feel good in my bathing suit  This Summer - I won't even take my shorts off Last Summer -  I was bodybuilding, starting my  spinning instructor certification,  running races, training others, full of energy This Summer - I watch lots of movies, I'm low on energy, I went to the Yankees game last night and walked a couple miles to the stadium, up a bunch of stairs.  My knee actually started to hurt for the first time in ages. Old pain I felt only when I use to be overweight. This Summer - I've become this gourmet chef/foodie - Emeril style though!!!!! Sugar completely back in my diet.. even more the prior to WLS.  Last Summer - I cooked healthy meals, planned meals, kept journals, protein was always first. The one plus so far is that I'm back taking my vitamins consistently. Well that and I guess I'm here talking about all of this.  I know this story probably repeats itself over and over on these boards.  I guess I was too ****y to think it could happen to me.  I'm finally scared enough and uncomfortable enough to do something about it.  I've got to be at least 30-40lbs up from my lowest weight.  My boyfriend, Ely moved in with me a few weeks ago.  He is one of the reasons wny my lifestyle has changed but it was even headed the other direction before I met him. Lots of dating, major social butterfly, lots of events out.   Ely and I met about 6 months ago via Jdate.  I've been matching his lifestyle with the cooking, less activity, and even smoking.  He has a very physical job and has very little body fat on his body. Mostly all muscle.  He doesn't really have to worry about weight.  We had a great talk today and he is very supportive of me going back to my old lifestyle.  He is also a great chef and has agreed to lay off the pasta, put protein first, etc.  However, I know that when it comes down to me it is me and me only that has to stay motivated, stay in the mindset, continue where I left off a year ago, and stop being in denial.   I guess my greatest fear is that I always do things in extremes.  I get on a kick and I go so overboard that I burn myself out.  I need to make small  goals each day and not expect to go hop on a spin bike tomorrow for 90 minutes. I need to be scared for my health and stay scared.  That alone should be motivating.  I need to keep in mind where I was headed prior to surgery.  I need to keep in mind that I want to be healthy enough so that I can work on having children. If anyone else has advice that has worked for them after falling off for a year and then coming back around to the post op 1st year lifestyle I'd love to hear more.  Does it make sense to just go back to all protein at first?  Where do I start?  Where is the balance?   I plan to read over the boards too and start to reconnect with some of the old WLS gang. Much Love & Thanks, Stacy

Hi Stacy!!! I think you're in the right place and it sounds like you're in the right mindset to do it now! We all stumble and fall from time to time and anyone who says it will "NEVER" happen to them is living in a glass house (IMO). It can happen to anyone.  I think going back to basics is the first step. Follow the pouch rules, 30/30min rule (I like to do 30/45-60 when possible), push protein, cut back on the bad carbs and incorporate the good ones, exercise, track at fitday  or sparkpeople until you're back in the swing of things again, etc. And remember, life isn't an all or nothing thing. You don't have to be "perfect", you just do the best that you can on any given day. If you eat something not on your plan, don't let it sabotage the rest of your day or week. Just forgive yourself, jump back on the wagon and do all the good things that helped you to lose the weight in the first place! You CAN do this!!!!!!!!!! (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

I was always a big fan of fitday. It is a great site. I'll try that again until I feel like I've adopted a more "wls" lifestyle routine again.   It feels so anal to do that and I get bored (or lazy) with the tracking usually after a couple weeks. However, the accontability benefits are huge for me.  It keeps my goals on my mind if I have to write in it after every meal and workout or at least sit down and do it at the end of the day. My plan so far -- write down/track goals (few measureable ones) -- visit OH at least one daily -- protein shake in the am post workout to jump start the protein for the day -- ordered some protein snacks/food from bariatric eating.. make sure I stay stocked with the good stuff in the house and on the road -- bringing lunch daily to work.. I had been skipping or grabbing crackers too much.. or worse.. eating crapola that I shouldn't be eating because it was easy. -- no additional sugar in my coffee, when cooking, etc and back to the lean protein, lower carb stuff -- just start simple with the exercise... two choices daily spin for 30 minutes or walk/jog for 30 minutes until I am consistent for a month So true.. it isn't all or nothing.  It isn't even that I eat something lousy and say the hell with it for the rest of the day.  I'm even before that step.  I just don't even think about it at all.  Now I am thinking about it again.  Thanks so much for the response.

Stacy, You have received some great advice! I agree with getting on the scale right away~get it over with and don't have it hanging over your head. Then you can deal with it and put it behind you as you move on to working your new plan! Good Luck and please keep us posted on your progress!!!!

Hi Stacy, I understand exactly how you feel. My surgery was 7 years ago and I have lost and gained the same 10 -15 pounds for years. But now I've gone from a 10 to a 14 in 3 months.  I know my problem is forgetting the rules, not being able to push myself to exercise and depression.  I do really well for a day or two and then I'm off the wagon.  It amazing how your story miminics mine.  I was doing all the things you talk about and now I can hardly move off the sofa Yesterday, I decided I need to approach my weight loss in a different way or go back to the basics.  My goal is to do some form of exercise every day to start and get in a minimum of 60 grams of protein a day.  I'm looking for a weight loss partner that I can exchange e-mails with to see if that will help. Let me know if you're interested.  My friends don't understand what I'm going through and I think some my be a little happy that I've gained some of the weight back. One even said "I look great now that I put weight back on because I looked anorexic before." How can anyone wearing a size 10 look anorexic? Thanks for listening!

Regina - That sounds great.  My email is [email protected]  and occasionally you can find me on IM during the day - liquidstayce for AIM and yahoo if you want to chat real time.  I think that you hit the nail on the head. We DO have to figure out a new approach.  I think it is back to the basics but it really isn't starting from scratch. We just have to leverage the knowledge we already have and decide to just do it.  Not just here right now but every single day (in in some cases every meal, or even every hour) to remind ourselves that we are wls patients and we have to follow certain behaviors in order us to live healthy, happy lifestyles for the long term.  Forget the rest of the world.. they really have not walked in our shoes and until they do they can't begin to really understand what it means to be morbidly obese, what it means to basically alter your insides as a "last resort", to feel what it is like to be at a "normal weight" and then slowly start to see that vanish again.  I know the longer I put this off the worse it will get.. maybe even worse then before WLS when I weighed 283 lbs and had all the not so fun issues to go along with that.

Stacy and Regina, Can I get in with you guys for support. I am starting over after regaining 27 lbs. I have to say my story is the same as all of yours. I am weighing in this morning and starting over. I plan on weighing in once a week. I will let you know by email how I am doing. I think writing in my journal my weigh will help too. I love the you bite it ! you write it ! Rule too. I will email you. Please feel free to email me at : [email protected]. See you lighter and back on track. Remember protein, water and exercise. Joanne

Email sent!

Stacy and Regina, Thanks ! I have received both your emails and will keep in touch daily. Here's to day one back on track. See you lighter. Joanne

Welcome back Stayce.  You have already begun your way back to success by realizing that you need the support of our AMOS family. Having a supportive boyfriend is very helpful also.  I had wls in August 2000 and by 2003 I started to gain weight and reached my highest post-op weight of 181 by March 2005.  I realized that I needed to get back on track and stay there.  Please check out my profile and be encouraged. I am back on the losing side again weighing 160 pounds the last time I updated my profile. During thw last 2 weeks my weight fluctuated between 157 and 160.  When I get back to my goal weight of 150,  I plan to keep on doing what I did to get there. I'm going to maintin this lifestyle change. Keep coming to the boards for encouragement and you will succeed!! Good luck and many blessings to you.