February 12, 2010

Feb 12, 2010

OMG It has been forever since I wrote.  I am still so happy with my journey.  Have I gained?  YES... Am I happy? Yes .....Do I have regrets?  NO.  So much has happened.  Life goes on and my weight will always be a struggle.  My wonderful sister printed all my blogs over the years and gave it to me for Christmas.  My own story.  My own words.  So much I forgot and it was so nice to have my own words to remind me of where I was over 4 years ago.  I hate that I have gained.  I am at 199.  Yes I hit the 200 pound mark but I have dropped back down.  I sit here in front of the fire.  I am sitting on a heating pad.  My back for the first time in 4 years is out.  I know it is from the weight.  Even though I am still 110 pound from where I started, the added weight around my middle is the cause.

On December 2, 2009 my daughter was DX. with Juvenile Diabetes.  I really discovered I am a stess eater.  These past two months have been such a roller coaster.  I have to get this weight off.  She has to comply with her new life.  My husband has gotten on board with his type 2 diabetes and he has lost 25 lbs with her.  I have to get this weight off before I end up with it.  I was Dx. with  an elevated A1C when I started this journey.  I was never treated for diabetes but I know it is just waiting.  I have let my gard down and I am so afraid I will get it next.

So life goes on.  I am taking one day at a time.  I am not joining Weight Watchers or doing some fad diet, which is what I did all my life.  I know what works.  I am getting back to basics.  My tool still works.  I can only eat little amounts.  Sugar, a lot of it makes me dump, but I have learned and am back to grazing.  If I am bored I graze.  If I worry, I graze.  If I can't sleep, I graze.  If I am mad, I graze.  If I am Happy, I graze.  If I am anything right now I graze.  Dr. West-Smith, taught us to make a busy box.  I need to get my stuff back out.  I am reading my book Dr. Tom gave me 4 years ago.

I am still responsible for my health.            

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