6 weeks and counting.........

Oct 19, 2014

So I have passed my 6 week mark and I feel sick all the time. I really don't like this feeling all I want to do is stay in bed I hate this feeling. I know I need to eat food but if I am gonna be sick after eating I would just starve myself. I know its not cool but throwing up is not fun. I want to call my doctor but in my mind I think its the heartburn going CRAZY!!!!!!!!! Anyway I feel like a failure because I have not lost 50 lbs yet. I know that I am still healing but sometimes I feel like I need to push myself harder. I know its sounds crazy. I know this is not easy but its getting better. I have to take it day by day. I am happy with the weight I have lost. I have to remind myself that I am doing ok. .  I do not regret having the surgery because I feel that the surgery has saved my life. If I did not have the surgery I might have ended up like my stepdad. He is 52 with major heart failure, diabetes and gout. Only 27% of his hearts works. I am so scared that one day my little sister will come home and find him dead. I wish that he took better care of himself but what can I do, I am only one person........ However I do miss my old stomach(sometimes) but I love the fact that my clothes are getting too big   

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