We got to the hospital at 7 am.  Actually we were a few minutes late and I kind of freaked out about that but it wasn't a big deal.  There was another lady there for a different surgery and they brought us in at the same time to get prepped.  Keith took my purse and went to the waiting room and I followed in silence to the prep area. I put on my uniform of a paper dress and compression tights and net hat. Then started the IV attempts. It took three people and six tries before they got a half ass one. I was silent the entire time with tears clamped tight behind my eyelids because I was so frustrated and of course it hurt like hell. As soon as they got the one they gave me drugs. I started to fade out then. I remember Keith's face above me and apparently I spoke to him but I don't remember that. Next thing I know I am awake in a room and Keith is telling me he is leaving to get back home to the kids since Lydia had to be at work soon.  His parents came in too but I was so far gone that I really couldn't speak to them. I do remember saying "at least after you have a baby you feel better. I don't feel better at all."  Labor is the only time I've ever been in the hospital for and I have nothing else to compare this with.  I am pretty strong. I shoulder through a lot and for some reason I thought I would be one of the lucky ones who got out of this without a lot of problems. I was in a lot of pain. My mouth was so dry and cracked. I had a busted lip for some reason.  I couldn't have anything to drink until the following day after the swallow test.  So, all that day and night I was in hell. I finally figured out that the morphine made me sleep so I asked for it every three hours and finally the swallow test came around. My first drink was that awful barium chalky stuff. I barely could make myself do it. Everything looked good so I was given an ok for liquids.  I started with watered down apple juice and proceeded to vomit for the rest of the day and night.  My poor nurse (thanks to all the nurses out there and the gross things you have to deal with).  One came and moved my puke bucket in the middle of the night to take my blood and I had to puke on the floor.  Around 7 am the morning before I left I got a new nurse. She looked at my IV and for some reason I did too. My entire arm from wrist to elbow was swollen and purple. The fluids/meds were going straight into my tissue.  She didn't ask anyone -- she just changed it immediately. She put in a new line on my other arm in one try and I started feeling better almost instantly. I was able to get up. I stopped puking. I slept most of the night. It was heaven compared to the night and day before. On the last day I was dying to go home. I absolutely hated the bed. I kept slipping down to the bottom of the bed and I could never get comfortable.  My surgeon released me around noon and Keith was there an hour or so later. We had to go to Walmart to get my meds and a few things.  It was such a relief to be back home. He pushed me around in a wheel chair.  I can move and sleep so much easier.  I still haven't got all my protein and liquids in but I am trying. It feels weird when I drink. I still get quite weak and dizzy but my pain is very minimal now.  I am down 7 lbs since surgery and 15 lbs since I got the word to start liquids. It will still be weeks before I can put real food in my mouth but I am not hungry at all. I do crave things occasionally but nothing that I want to risk vomiting for. I will be glad when the weakness goes away and I can get back to life the way I was before.  Well,  there is my story. 

My paperwork was submitted on Friday and by Monday it was approved. I am scheduled for December 26th at 7 am. I have been on liquids since I got the call and I absolutely hate it. I am shouldering through but will be relieved to have the surgery done and over with. I have lost 7 lbs on this liquid diet but I obsess over food more now than I ever have. I am angry as a hornet and everything irritates me. It's the best Christmas present I could ever ask for but at the same time it has completely ruined Christmas for me. I won't be celebrating at all. 

As of yesterday all paperwork has been submitted to insurance for approval! My lovely nurse Tracy told me that it normally takes about it a week or so.  I think this week will feel longer than the 6 month diet.  Happy Holidays everyone! 

 

My 6 months has flown by! I had my last appointment with my PCP today and I tried in a subtle way to say I wanted to submit all my paperwork to insurance before the end of the month just in case they tried to change things after the 1st of the year.  So, I had an EKG done and by the time I had gotten out she already had the letter of recommendation written and had everything together to fax over to my surgeon!!!! 

I am too excited for words. A lot of people with my insurance go to this surgeon since he is the only one who accepts it so last month they had me do all the tests that they have been kicking people back for. I should be good to go! I could be scheduled in the next few weeks!

Did I mention that I am excited!!!!! YAY! 

I had to reschedule my appointment with my surgeon last week because my oldest daughter was in the hospital with her diabetes so I just saw him today.  It's been a very stressful month and I didn't lose any weight but I didn't gain so I am happy with that. I am going to try harder this month.  I am to schedule a few more tests that my insurance has been bumping out to other patients with the same insurance. Good to know now instead of having to wait once every thing is submitted.  I also thought I'd have to have seven papers filled out by my PCP but I asked today and it's only six so as long as all goes well I could be scheduled as early as January!   She said it normally only takes a week for them to approve it.  I am too excited. I am so ready for this. I did get a little weepy when I thought about the "what if I die" arrangements I'd have to make with my mom and partner. It's a huge risk,  no doubt about it but I can't stay in this prison because of a what if.  I am tired of living in limbo.  I want to be free more now than I ever have and I feel like if I don't take this chance,  I never will. Hopefully,  my kids will forgive me if the worst does happen. 

November/December will fly by so MAN I am ready!